Gravity Falls According to a Corduroy
by ZeroFox
Summary: A re-telling of Gravity Falls through the eyes of a certain red-head teenager that we all know and love. There will be some modifications like some chronological differences with the chapters compared to the show, possible characters acting a little OOC, new stuff going on, etc., etc. But it's all in good fun. Hope you all enjoy it. :)
1. And So It Begins

ZeroFox: Hi everybody. This is a little something I've been working on for a while. It's Gravity Falls that we all know and love but with somebody else telling the story through their eyes.

Wendy: What up dudes. I'm running the ship now.

ZeroFox: There will be some modifications like some chronological differences with the chapters compared to the show, possible characters acting a little OOC, new episodes, etc. But it's all in good fun. Ratings will vary depending on situation and potty mouths. Any who, this is strictly non-profit and-

Wendy: What?! You mean I'm not getting paid?! Tch, what a ripoff!

ZeroFox: I'd like not to get sued by Mickey Mouse please.

Wendy: Fine. But I swear, if you embarrass me-

ZeroFox: Say, is that Dipper over there?

Wendy: Where?!

ZeroFox: *runs off* CUE DISCLAIMER! CUE DISCLAIMER!

Disclaimer: THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFIT FAN FICTION. GRAVITY FALLS AND ITS CHARACTERS ARE OWNED BY ALEX HIRSCH AND DISNEY. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE!

What up dudes! Guess who? Mabel? Nah, not that energetic. Dipper? Heh heh…nope. Keep guessing. Soos? Ha ha, nah man but getting there. Stan Pines? Pfft! Yeah right, waaaaaaay off. Come on you guys, keep guessing. Need a hint? Okay, here's your only hint: I'm a flippin' Corduroy! WHAT?! MANLY DAN?! Oh now I know you're messing with me. Wendy? Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner.

Yup, it's the one and only Wendy Corduroy. Ha, what a showboat introduction line. Couldn't help myself, heh heh. Any who, I'm pretty sure you know who I am and by now you should pretty much know about the whole Gravity Falls story with my two friends from California visiting their great uncle (aka, my boss) in a mountain town and discovering the paranormal secrets of the town (which there are a lot of, trust me). However you never seen it through the eyes of somebody who practically has lived through all that.

I suppose I could help you out with that. I mean to be quite honest, that was perhaps the greatest summer I ever had. But be warned, somethings may be a little different from what you saw and you may not like what you discover. Ha, just kidding. Or am I? Ha! Man, those cheesy movies monologues from those bad movies that Dipper and I watched may be rubbing off on me. So let's begin the story. Yo Brad Breeck, let's turn it up in here!

*insert the Gravity Falls Intro Theme*

Chapter 001:

And So It Begins

Now let's rewind all the way to the beginning. Nope, not when Mabel and Dipper arrived. Just a little bit before that. This story starts during the final week of high school. I mean, if there was a hell on earth, that week was it. Long days of doing nothing but work, work, work, work. Oh and the best part? We had to take one gigantic test that pretty much determines if we pass or not (I'm sure you all had to do that before).

If that wasn't a big week of stress, I got hit with a little bad news (by little, I mean I could have cared less at that point). See I was going out with somebody from the baseball time at the time but apparently he was screwing around with some preppy cheerleader behind my back. And get this, he had balls to break up with me because, according to him, 'he didn't feel the love' from me (aka, I didn't go 'further' like that skank. My dad raised me to be a strong woman, not an easy whore). Whatever. Just gonna add him to the list of boyfriend failures (it's a long list that I'll probably delve into later on).

So it's the last day of finals. I catch the luckiest break ever. The last class that was left for me to take the final exam…it was Physical Education, aka Gym class. Yes! Time to show those idiots what this Corduroy is all about. Also the last time I gotta wear those dumb gym shorts and shirt. Got pretty annoying to hear, 'Hey Corduroy, ever hear of a tanning booth?' from the prep student crowd. I mean seriously, could you come up with a lamer insult than that? I heard worse in middle school.

We did a bunch of various activities (i.e. ran laps, push-ups) before coming to the last part of the test. This was the 'Do-or-Die' moment for some. Everybody had to climb a rope to the top of the gym and touch the base near the ceiling before climbing back down. It's pretty high up, I wanna say like 30-40 feet high.

Most people struggled to get off the ground or just whimp out after the midway point. Me, I do it in like 20 seconds without even breaking a sweat. When your dad is a lumberjack and raises you in that lifestyle, scaling objects becomes second nature. I heard some prep girl make a comment about how I was like an animal that should be zoo. Out of nowhere, I saw a random shoe fall and hit her square in the face.

"Whoops! Sorry about that. Forgot to tie my sneaker." I look over to the rope next to me as it's my sister from another mother, Tambry.

"Ha, nice one Tam," I laughed.

"Hey, always got your back," she replied back, quickly taking a picture with her phone, "That looked like it hurt."

We both climbed back down, only to get confronted by the gym teacher, Mrs. Babcock.

"Corduroy….DiCicco…" She then slapped our backs. "Nice job! Especially you DiCicco, didn't think you could be separated from your phone for so long."

Tambry just rolls her eyes while I snickered.

"And Corduroy, nice work. You shattered your record last year by 10 seconds."

I get cheers from the guys and few glares from the girls. Ah, haters gonna hate. Not my fault you spend half the time looking in a mirror instead just going with what you got. It's been working for me for quite some time now….except in the relationship department. *sigh*

Thankfully that was the last exam of the year as everybody in Gravity Falls High School just burst out the door, flinging books and papers everywhere. I do not envy the clean-up crew. At least this will be the last time they gotta do that for the next three months. Plus they're union so it's all good. So it's just myself and Tambry walking down the stairs before we heard our names.

"Yo Tambers! Wendy!"

Tambry just grits her teeth and scowls. She hates being called Tambers.

"Goddamn it Nate! Stop calling me that!"

I looked over to see a tall blonde guy, a shorter guy wearing a baseball cap, a heavy-set guy, and another guy wearing a black hoodie with a red heart on it.

"Yo Nate! Yo Lee! Yo Thompson! Yo Robbie!"

"What up Wendy!"

"Yo Yo Wendy!"

"Hey Wendy."

"Sup home girl."

There are high fives and fist bumps to go around. We all just chatting it up with one another, talking about how lame the exams were. We all get a good laugh when we find out Thompson's cooking partner and the teacher had a bad case of the runs from eating his cookies in Cooking.

"Hey, I said I was sorry. I didn't know Harold and Ms. Cinderilli was allergic to cinnamon."

We all just chant Thompson's name. Nate then slapped him on the back.

"Dude, the look on the teacher's face was priceless! She was like-"

Nate then did an imitation of the teacher's face. Essentially it was a 'look of horror' mixed with 'Oh no!' and a little bit of 'GET OUT OF MY WAY!' We all chant Thompson's name as he looked down.

"Is my cooking that bad?"

"Dude, you nearly made a teacher shit themselves in a classroom," laughed Robbie, "Nobody in our group has ever done that."

"The closest was Lee made Mr. Drinkler throw up when he ate his Pudding Surprise," I said, a grin on my face, "You are the Finals King!"

We continue our chant of "Thompson" as he then looks up, a smile on his face.

"Aww, thanks guys."

Hey, we may give Thompson a hard time like all the time. But every now and again, we give him props for doing something wicked.

We all pile into Thompson's van (well actually it's his mom's van that he's borrowing) since he's the only one to get a license out of all of us. I would totally have one by now but….no comment on that one, heh heh (What? That fire hydrant came out of nowhere!).

So anyways, we decide to head over to 'The Arcade' to just chill and get the stench of school off of us.

*RING* *RING* *RING* *RING*

Uh oh. Let me rephrase that. The gang heads over to 'The Arcade' to just chill and get the stench of school off of them. Me, I get a phone call. I answered. "Hello?"

"Gwendolyn Linda Corduroy! Get home this instant!"

My blood ran cold as I knew who was on the other end. The only time my father called me by my full name is when the shit hits the fan. By the sound of his tone, a big pile just hit.

"S-S-S-Sure thing dad." I immediately hang up before looking at the others. "Sorry dudes, I gotta go home." I immediately start running in the direction of my home from school. It's about 2 miles away as I run, no, I sprinted as fast as I can.

For those who don't know, my father is Daniel Corduroy. But you know him as 'Manly Dan' the Lumberjack. He's bark and bite when he's in town and on the job. At home, he's a little more lenient with myself and 3 younger brothers. But whenever he tells you to come home, you drop what you are doing and get back home.

I arrived like 20 minutes later, wheezing and gasping for air (I like to see you spring 2 miles in 20 minutes in boots). Before I opened the door, it opened up for me. I saw my youngest brother, Alex, as he smirked at me.

"You're in trouble Wendy," he said in a teasing matter.

I shot a glare at him as he runs off in fear, past my dad as he has a scowl on his face and his arms crossed.

"Kitchen."

I see a piece of paper in his giant paw of a left hand. On the top, it read 'Report Card.' Ah *puck* me sideways. I dragged myself into the kitchen, gulping nervously as he follows. We then sit at opposite ends of the table. My dad just looked at me.

"Gwendolyn, what did we talk about at the beginning of the year?"

I don't have a chance to answer.

"If your grades were poor, you'll be working over at your Cousin Fredrick's lumberyard upstate for the summer."

He then showed me my report card. The highest was an 'A+' in Physical Education. The rest were D- or D.

"You're lucky your Physical Education grade brought your average up over passing. You need to take school serious instead of goofing off with those other teens."

I furrowed my brow. "Those other teens happen to be my friend's dad."

"They're a bad influence on you with their constant joking around and pranks."

"Hey, don't talk about my friends like that! They're the only people who don't treat me like I'm sort of freak!"

"But every time you hang around them, you blow off everything else from chores to school work to even jobs!"

My dad's got me there. In this school year, I was fired from like 7 jobs (but that's beside the point in this discussion).

"So maybe some hard work would whip you into shape and teach you how to be responsible."

I then barked out that stereotypical response every high schooler says. "You can't just decide that for me! It's my life."

"When you're under my roof, you follow my rules and follow up on your agreements!" my dad barked back, "We're Corduroys! When we give our word, we stick by it! That applies to you too. You gave your word at the beginning of the school year that you'd at least get a C average and all I see are Ds." My dad then took a deep breath to calm down. He wasn't in the mood to argue. "Tomorrow morning, I'll give Fredrick a call and tell him you're coming to work there for the summer."

I got a huge lump in my throat, tears formed in my eyes. "That's not fair! You're being totally unreasonable dad!"

In hindsight, my dad was being more than fair. I did say I was gonna do better in school than last year and I did give my word to him. However when you're a 15-year old girl still going through puberty, your emotions tend to get the best of you at times.

Now this is the only time my dad has ever displayed his sensitive side. Usually he gets this way when dealing with family (especially with me). He doesn't yell or get violent like he does when out in public (the victims are usually inanimate objects like a telephone book, light post, or just that one idiot who thinks that he can take on Manly Dan in a fight). Rather, the 'manliness' disappears and he's just Daniel Corduroy.

My dad then sighed and rubbed his eyes with his left hand. "Look Wendy, I'm just worried that you are heading down a path where it'll be hard for you to succeed in life." He then looked at me. "You're not gonna be a teenager forever. One day you'll wake up and become a grown woman who might even have to look after a family. But if you don't better yourself now, it's gonna be hard as hell trying to support your family or with the person you're with."

The lump in my throat got bigger, mostly due to guilt and that my dad's word hit me hard. I just feel the tears trickle down my face. My dad saw my current state as he then rubbed the back of his neck.

"Okay look Gwendolyn. If you can get a summer job in town and show that you are responsible enough to keep that job for the entire summer, you can stay in Gravity Falls with your friends."

The waterworks disappeared and got replaced by a big smile. I ran over and hugged my dad. "Thank you! Thank you so much. I promise not to let you down dad."

I then go off to my room, closing the door. I would normally be going out right now to hang with my friends but today, I just wanted to chill on my bed. I flipped on my television before laying on my stomach. Sweet! A cheesy horror movie marathon is on right now. Man, this be so much fun to watch with somebody and make silly commentary. Too bad none of my friends are into that kind of stuff. I just simply watch the screen as the discussion with my dad still buzzed around in my brain. I yawned. It should be simple, right? I mean, how hard can it be to find a job in Gravity Falls?

Next day….

…..

…..

…..WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND A STUPID JOB?!

If you're a little confused at what just happened, I got up that morning and hopped on my computer to job surf. I figured maybe there will be some job listings online for the stores of Gravity Falls. But after hours of filling out online resumes and send out applications, it seemed like it was a hopeless situation.

Then I decided to check out some other stores, even those in the town next over. Yeah…as soon as typed in who I was, I got a quick response of, " _Sorry, the position has been filled_." I just bang my head on my desk, a small cry of anguish comes from my mouth. Seriously…it's like I've been blacklisted. This is bullshit! Uggh!

After searching for a while, I came across the only place that would be willing to hire me: the Gravity Falls Movie Theater. I just sighed, facepalming myself. Don't get me wrong here. I mean, I know Thompson is a manager there and both Lee and Nate work there as well. I could easily get a job there like being an usher or working the snack bar. But I know my dad would be object to that in a heartbeat. Also, I heard a rumor that Thompson liked to drink the liquid butter there and I rather not have that image burned into my retinas.

I then decided to head into town and apply in person. I mean, meeting in person could show that I am a responsible person. Right? So I slapped on the cleanest shirt I had, the cleaned jeans, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and just for the heck of it, cleaned the mud off my boots. I had a look of determination on my face as I was ready to take on this challenge head on.

"Ha! Yeah right!"

"We're all set now."

"Sorry, no minors."

"I heard you ate half a delivery pizza. Thanks but no thanks!"

Okay, sooooo…maybe thinks didn't turn up the way I had hoped. That and I may have built a tiny reputation for myself as being a 'poor worker' and such (As for the delivery pizza, I saved the poor guy from eating a crappy pizza. I mean, the crust was burnt, the sauce was too salty, the cheese wasn't fully melted, I think some of my hair got into it). Whatever. But it seemed like my job search was becoming more and more hopeless. By 1:00 p.m., I decided to take a small break to go chill at the Gravity Falls Mall food court.

At the food court, I just chilled and ate nice Italian combo sub with some chips and Pitt cola. Man that hit the spot alright. I looked over a small notepad with list of all the stores I've applied to. Each list has been crossed off. I even tried applying to the Gravity Falls gossiper but Toby Determined scares the crap out of me so that was a no go. I tried applying at the junkyard but they said I had to deal with Old Man McGucket like every Tuesday and Thursday. Yeah, when Manly Dan tells you to stay away from somebody you don't question why.

I flipped the paper over to reveal a list of places I got fired from. I figured maybe they'll give me a second chance. Yeah, I should have saved myself the hassle of getting laughed at or chased out. Not gonna get those 2 hours back. I then hear the chortles and snickering from the table next over. I glance over and see a girl younger than me with bleach blonde hair, wearing a hot pink skirt, boots, and jacket with two other girls.

"Shh, I think she heard you talking about her outfit Pacifica," said one of the girls.

The blonde just snickered. "I just can't believe she goes out dressed like that."

I growled angrily as I knew who that blonde was. Pacifica Northwest. That spoiled rich brat. Just because she comes from a wealthy family, she thinks she can talk down to other people.

"Oh, she's starting to get angry. Better watch yourselves."

Damn it, that's it! I just got up and glared at that prissy bitch and her friends. "Hey Pacifica! If you have something to say, have the *pucking* guts to say it in front of my face you condescending bitch!"

Pacifica just smirked at me. "Wow, such foul language. Were you raised in a barn?" She then laughed. "Oh wait, even that's too rich for you and your hick family."

I just tightened my right hand back into a fist, ready to go over and pound her mascara covered face.

Before I get a chance to, another hand grabbed my arm from behind.

"Woah relax dude. You shouldn't let her to you that bad."

I looked behind me to see an older guy behind me. Well, not an old guy but a cool dude that was just a few years older than me wearing his trademark cap and question mark shirt.

"Soos. What are you doing here?"

"Oh Mr. Pines wanted something for lunch. So I came here to get something for. And what better place for a wide range of food than the Gravity Falls Mall food court. Pretty smart thinking, huh Wendy."

He then did his usual chuckle as I just grinned.

"Not a bad idea Soos. At least it's a variation in different kinds of food." Then an idea hit me…er, more like a much needed break from the headache of job hunting. "Need help man with that dude? I know how finicky that old codger can be when it comes to food."

Soos' face lit up with a big grin.

"Dude, that'd be sweet! It'll be like old times."

By the way, for those who aren't familiar with the big dude, that's Soos Ramirez. I've known him for like half my life. He's like the cool older brother I've always wanted. Very down to earth, not that judgmental, and he gives good advice that surprisingly is very insightful. He's also a pretty sweet handyman that can fix anything and everything. We've hung out plenty of times in the past, especially when I visited the Mystery Shack, his place of work, when I was younger. At one point his boss, one Stanford Pines, gave me free admission for life (don't know why though, never bothered to ask).

"Hold on man, let me just throw my trash out."

I got up from my seat, holding a tray with all my trash before going to a nearby waste basket to throw it. As I was walking away, I heard a bitchy chuckle (Trust me. You'll know it when you hear somebody do it) coming from behind me.

"Running away are we?"

I just turned back to glare at Pacfica. Just calm down Wendy. You're 15, she's 12. If you get into a fight, you might regret it later on. You'll…hold a minute. No twelve year old has that really bright of a blonde hair. I mean, that totally…Oh…Oh heh heh heh heh.

Life lesson folks: You're always gonna run into these snooty girls, who pride themselves on appearance more so than human decency. So, hit them where it hurts.

"Hey Pacifidork, I think your blonde hair dye is fading away. Everybody can see your actual hair color."

The look on her spoiled brat face turns into a look of horror. She immediately grabs a small mirror from her friend to look, a look of terror on her face. "Where?! Where is my real hair color showing?" Her friends try to comfort her as Soos and I walk away, a triumphant look on my face.

"Ha, sweet burn Wendy!"

"Thanks Soos."

"High five dude!"

I high fived Soos as we began our little excursion.

It took some time but we found the perfect meal for Stan. A prune salad. Well not really. I just bought it to give myself a good laugh to see his face reaction. Actually, Soos just got a turkey club sandwich with bacon and a bottle of Pitt Cola. We head out of the mall as I see a golf cart with a giant question mark painted on the hood, aka the Mystery Cart.

"Hop in, I'll drive you to the Mystery Shack."

"Thanks Soos."

"No problem dude."

We both get in as Soos drives us back to his place of work.

"So why were you at the mall dude?"

"Job hunting and such."

"Oh, neat. Find anything?"

"Eh….nothing yet dude."

"I'm sure something will plop into your lap Wendy. Just gotta think positive."

Now I suppose you all know what the Mystery Shack is. For those who don't know, it's the largest Gravity Falls tourist attraction. I mean, people come from miles out just to see it and look around inside. The man in charge of it is Stan Pines, aka Mr. Mystery, aka Mr. 'Fleece'em.' Seriously, the dude jacks up the prices on everything. I don't even know how a cheap snow globe costs $20. Not to mention that half the stuff he shows are just a bunch of taxidermy animals either glued together or had some other object glued on them. I know. My family has help captured and stuffed most of those animals. I mean, there's a squirrel called 'Manly Nuts'….Pfft! Okay…that's the only one that cracks me up. It's a squirrel head on a fake buff body.

Anyways, we arrived at the Shack as bursting out the front door is Stan Pines, fully dressed in his Mr. Mystery outfit.

"Soos! Where the hell were you?! I had a mob of customers come in 15 minutes ago. I had to do everything!"

"Sorry Mr. Pines but I left to get you some lunch," apologized Soos, presenting the bag with the food in it to his boss.

Stan just looks at him and sighs, rubbing his eyes. I think that's his way of apologizing for barking at his employee. I then see the old man do a small smile.

"Ah, well don't disappear like that again without warning me." He then took the bag, getting out the sandwich. "Can't let my number one handyman disappear on me."

"You got it Mr. Pines," replied Soos, doing a miniature salute.

Stan then took out the sandwich and examined it. "So what kind of sandwich is it?"

"A turkey club with a little bacon in it," replied Soos.

"I'm sold!" Stan then took a big bite of it, "Hey, this isn't half bad."

"I also asked if they could put that special mustard you like on it," added Soos.

"Bacon-flavored mustard?" asked Stan, "Wow, you really went out on this one."

"Only the best for my number one da-boss," replied Soos, almost calling Stan 'dad'. Wasn't sure if that was by accident or not.

Me, I just rolled my eyes while a cheeky smirk was on my face. "What a Kodak moment I just witnessed."

Soos then got that look on his face like he had forgotten something. "Oh wow, my bad. Totally forgot you were there Wendy."

"It's cool dude. Didn't want to ruin the moment," I casually replied back.

Soos then turned to look at Stan. "I also came Wendy at the food court as well."

"Hey Mr. Pines," I casually said to him, "I also got you a prune salad with bran dressing."

I showed the salad to Stan as he just gave me an annoyed look.

"Oh ha ha. Very funny Corduroy. Yeah, I'm old. I get the joke. This isn't the first time you pulled that on me."

It wasn't. I've pulled this gag on him plenty of times and I always end up getting the same result each and every time.

For some odd reason, Soos became enamored with the salad. "Wow that looks good. You gonna eat that salad Mr. Pines?"

"Knock yourself out Soos," replied an unenthusiastic Stan as he just handed the salad to Soos.

The young man just devoured the entire bran salad right on the spot. After a few minutes and a stomach pat, we begin the show. "Wow! That tasted-" Cue Soos' stomach letting out aloud growling sound and his eyes widening to the size of dinner plates, followed by…"Oh man…oooooo…oooooh! ¡No está bien*! ¡No está bien! Ah! Ah! ¡Necesito ir al baño**! ¡Necesito ir al baño!" And then finished off with Soos sprinting to the bathroom at record speed, hollering in pain.

Stan just placed his hands on his hips as he watched everything. "You'd think he'd learned after the 100th time that's happened."

"I regret nothing!" bellowed Soos' voice from the bathroom, followed by more groaning and the sound of flushing.

I just snickered and chortled to myself, only to see Stan look at me. "So why were you at the food court?"

"Well I'm actually job hunting today so-"

I immediately get cutoff by Stan's obnoxious laughter. A deadpan expression is on my face as he does that. He then cleaned his glasses.

"But seriously, why were you there?"

"I told you, I was job hunting and-" Again, more obnoxious laughter.

This little bit went on for a few minutes until he couldn't laugh anymore. By then, I was looking at a nearby rock and wondered how hard I could throw it at Stan's face.

He then cleaned his glasses on his shirt before looking at me. "But seriously, job hunting? You've been fired from 7 jobs in since last year. You're like the worse hire in town."

Now I would try to say something in response to that. But I decided to just take one gigantic swallow of my pride for this one moment. I immediately just get on my knees, clasping my hands together as I proceeded to beg. "Please Stan, you gotta help me! If I don't get a job soon, my dad's gonna send me upstate to work the summer at my cousin Fredrick's lumberyard."

Stan just raised an eyebrow at the sight and from what he had heard. "Dan is really gonna do that?"

"Yeah and he's dead serious this time."

Stan just sighed, knowing full well that I would be miserable up there. He then rubbed his eyes with his left hand. "I'm gonna regret this, I just know I'm gonna regret this." Stan then looked right at me. "Okay, are you good at basic math? You know, the basics like addition and multiplication."

"Yup, I got a D in it this year," I boastfully replied.

Stan immediately got a deadpan facial expression once I mentioned my math grade. Yeah, not the smartest thing to go around to be proud of.

"*sigh* Can you at least count money?"

"Pfft, relax man. I worked as a cashier at the bowling alley before," I casually reply.

"Did you get fired because you spent half the time bowling there?"

"Eh heh heh…yeah," I sheepishly replied, "But on the plus side, I didn't steal from the register or give back too many refunds."

Stan just casually shrugged his shoulders. "Meh. Good enough for me. Okay you're hired as a cashier girl." He then walked past me to go inside the Shack. "You start in 10."

"What, 10 minutes?" I asked, a little confused by that.

"No, I mean years. Of course minutes! Time is money!"

I just grinned from ear to ear before jumping up and down, cocking my right elbow up and down in a mini celebration. "Yes! I got a job. I got a job! Sorry cousin Fredrick but you won't be getting an extra worker this summer." I then jus "I won't let you down Stan. I promise to do my job well and a Corduroy-"

"Always keeps their word. Yeah, I get that same malarkey from your old man," grumbled Stan, "Now get to your post. The next tour can be here any minute."

He then hands me a nametag as I took a red sharpie marker and scribbled on my name.

"That marker better not be permanent. Otherwise it's coming out of your paycheck."

I just growled in anger before walking over to the register. Not even a minute on the job and he's already riding my ass. This is going to be a fun summer.

Still, I couldn't help but smile though. Maybe it's the fact I'm working with a friend. Maybe it's because I'm working in a place I thought was awesome growing up. Or maybe was the fact I was able to stay and hang with my friends. But whatever the reason, I was riding on Cloud 9. But little did I realize that ride would come to a halt in the near future.

Wendy: Grr! Where is that dumb fox? I swear if I find him, I'm going to a pellet out of him!

ZeroFox: *hiding in a tree* That's it for this chapter. Tune in next time. Also you can leave any comment or constructive critiques in the reviews (no trolling though).

Wendy: WHERE ARE YOU?!

ZeroFox: Gotta run, buh bye!


	2. Meeting the Pines Twins 1

ZeroFox: Hiya everybody, I'm back! First off, thank you to all the people who read my story. You are awesome! Also a big thanks and much appreciation to those who favorited and followed me (especially SuperGroverAway, author of one of my favorite Gravity falls fanfics: "Pines Will Be Pines.")

Wendy: Dude, are you done thanking people?

ZeroFox: Nope! :D

Wendy: -_-;

ZeroFox Also, big thanks to Aqua Burst 07 for their feedback on the story layout and tailored it so that it's easier to read and enjoy. Now that being said, I present to you Chapter 2. It was so-

Wendy: *snerk* That's what she said.

ZeroFox: ….Really? *facepalm* Any who, the original was too big so I decided to break it up into two parts. I hope you all enjoy! ^_^

Disclaimer: THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFIT FANFICTION. GRAVITY FALLS AND ITS CHARACTERS BELONG TO ALEX HIRSCH AND DISNEY. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE!

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Hey everybody, guess who is back. Gideon Gleeful?! Man, are we going to go through with this every time? Jeez, it's Wendy. Here, let me spell it out for you. W-E-N-D-Y C-O-R-D-U-R-O-Y. Wait, are you doing this to mess with me? Dude, not cool! It's supposed to be the other way around. Ha ha, just kidding. Got you back. I guess you want to get on with the story. I gotta admit, I'm a little nervous. Why am I nervous? Oh no reason, ha ha ha…ha…eh heh heh…heh…CUT TO MUSIC INTRO! CUT TO MUSIC INTRO! CUT TO MUSIC INTRO!

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(*Insert Gravity Falls Theme)

* * *

 **Chapter 2:**

 **Meeting the Pines Twins p.1**

Phew, avoided one awkward moment back there. So before we continue, let's rehash what happened the last time: I got a job at the Mystery Shack. Boom, simple. No 5-minute recaps or constant cutback scenes. Just doing things the Corduroy way: right to the point.

So after my first official shift at the Mystery Shack (well, more like just 4 hours), I head on home. I was greeted by my dad, who was asking like a bajillion questions of where I was. I told him I was working at my job as a cashier girl. The first place he thought it my job was at was the Gravity Falls Movie Theater. I reassured him that it wasn't. I then told him it was at the Mystery Shack. Out of nowhere, my dad starts laughing his head off.

"Dad, what's so funny?" "Oh nothing sweetie. It's just…just…BWA HA HA HA HA HA!" I just go and get him a glass of water, sighing to myself. When my dad starts laughing, he only stops when his voice goes or if I leave the room. I couldn't do the latter. So after 5 minutes, I hear a wispy, "Water! Water! Wendy, could you get me a glass of water?" I roll my eyes and hand my dad the glass. He chugs it down easily as I then look at him. "Now, can I tell you about my new job?" I ask, a hint of annoyance in my tone. "I'm sorry sweetie but I just can't believe that old codger gave you a job," my father laughed.

For those who don't understand my dad's reaction, he's known Stan for quite some time (dating back to before I was born from what I gathered). Whenever Stan needed help with maintain the Mystery Shack, to do heavy lifting with Soos, or needed some new 'attractions,' he gave my dad a call. It was a little extra money on the side, really helpful especially when things slowed down during logging season. In a way, Stan has always helped my family out and in return, my family has helped him out. Kind of like a symbiosis, like clownfish and sea anemones (one of the few things I remembered from school so eat it Mr. Crocker).

Also growing up, I spent a lot of my time hanging out at the Mystery Shack. I was drawn to the cheesiness of the attractions or the made-up folklore behind them, which would wow a younger kid. It was also pretty cool to see my family's work get some recognition. Even if it was from a bunch tourists who couldn't tell they were getting ripped off badly (fame is fame I suppose). Overall, one could say that the Corduroys and Pines get along really well and the two families have a real connection with each other. Yeah…Corduroy and Pines…Corduroy and Pines…UM, ANY WHO BACK TO THE STORY!

After a few minutes of laughing, or rather loud chuckling at my own expense, my dad then smiles and pats me on the head (he's only one of two people that I will allow that to happen to me). "I'm proud of you Wendy. You kept your word and got a job here in town. Even if it is with that old salty dog." I just roll my eyes but just smiled at my dad's joking description of Stan. "Now since you kept you word in getting a summer job, I'll keep my word. You don't have to go to your Cousin Fredrick's lumberyard for the summer." Yes! Yes! Yes! I just hug my old man tight as I run upstairs to my room to celebrate. I felt like I was on cloud nine. I get an easy job at a place I am totally familiar with and I can still hang out with my friends. It's win freakin' win. Everything is turning up Wendy.

So for the first week on the job, it was a little slow since it really wasn't officially summer. We were still in like the middle of May, but hey work was work. Even if I had to be there at an ungodly time (hey, I'd like to see you get up at 7:00 in the morning during the summer for work when you're a fifteen year old girl. It's hell I tell you).

Every morning, I'd wake up and do my daily ritual of repeatedly hitting the snooze button on the alarm clock. This goes on for a good 20 minutes until I officially wake up at like quarter past 7:00. I get up and trudge over to the bathroom to wash up and put on some deodorant (hey, I don't wanna smell while going to work). When I'm all set and cleaned up, I hop on my bike to get ready to head out. I first make a quick pit stop over to the Greasy Diner for some breakfast before heading on over to the Mystery Shack. I punch in at around 8:30, only to get scolded at by Stan about 'time being money' and I need to be there earlier. I then work the register till like noon before taking an hour break (I took a small pay cut for that perk but it was worth it) to go have lunch. I then return back to the shack before finishing up the day at the register or restocking shelves. It was an easy paycheck and I got to chillax (Soos says that word a lot).

Oh sure, Stan tried to get me to do extra work like help Soos with creating new 'attractions' for the shack. It's actually sad that you just throw two taxidermy animals together with glue, give it a weird name, and then charge a ridiculous amount to have tourists to see it. Sad part is that they bite it all hook, line, and sinker. Oh well, their money. Other times, Soos might ask me to help him with his handyman work. Depending on my mood, I either disappear or say I had to use the bathroom. Actually…that's a lie. Half the time I just sit behind the counter since Stan wants me there all the time. The other half, I will admit…I help Soos. I look at it like this. I learn something new and also…how could you leave that big lug alone. Especially when he does that puppy dog eye thing, including the tear drop. Gets me every time (if you say no to Soos, you're either a Northwest or a heartless bastard….which essentially is also a Northwest).

Also during that week, I happened upon a 'secret' ladder to the roof. By secret, I mean it's behind a curtain and by happened upon, I mean I looked behind the curtain with the signs that say 'Warning! Do not move curtain.' Soos freaked out a little as I climbed up it and opened up the hatch. I gotta admit, whoever designed this house must have liked to gaze up into the sky because you get a really great view. I then scale over to a flat area before sitting down, my legs dangling off the edge. Maybe it's the lumberjack in me (or woodsman if you want to go even further) but I get chills down my back from being high up. It's not from fear of heights but just the thrill and enjoyment of looking down at everything and gazing across the landscape. To gaze upon nature's splendor and take it all in and be in awe from it. It's amazing.

So on my breaks (all on separate occasions of course), I snuck up a chair, an umbrella stand, an umbrella, a cooler, ice, and then beverages. I even put a bullseye target on the nearby totem pole for fun one day for target practice. I normally do that to practice my hatchet throwing back at home but I can't exactly do throw hatchets at the Mystery Shack for obvious reasons (in the words of Stan Pines, 'That's a lawsuit waiting to happen and I don't want to pay for it!'). So instead, I use pinecones and rocks. Same principle, right? Yes sir, it was gonna be a breeze during this summer. That is until that Friday, when I got blindsided by one of the biggest bombshells so far that summer (there were more to come later on but we'll cross those bridges when we get to them).

It was towards the end of the shift as we were getting ready to clean up and shut down for the day. Soos was busy cleaning up some of the attractions and I just cashed out the register. Normally Stan is here to watch us and be all supervisory and stuff. This time, he wasn't. So I took the chance to continue reading a magazine I had on me (what? I had to know if that new superhero movie that just came out was worth to go see in the theatre). Soos, on the other hand, was getting a little antsy about our boss's nonattendance in the shop.

"Gee, I wonder where Mr. Pines is. He's been in his office for a long time. Is he okay?"

"Meh," I casually reply, shrugging my shoulders, "Stan's probably in his office coming up with new ways to scam tourists."

"But doesn't he usually include us for input?"

I just lower my magazine and give Soos a 'Really dude?' facial expression. "By including our input, you mean 'Not on your life Soos' and 'Thanks for the opinion Ms. Peanut Gallery but I only pay you to be a cashier, not an advisor.'" I said those two things, doing an impression of Stan. It's not that hard really, you just gotta lower your voice and make it sound very grainy.

"Ha ha, that's a good impression Wendy." "Thanks Soos, been working on it for a few days now." I then go back to reading my magazine. "Besides, I'm sure he's doing just fine. So sit tight and wait."

Suddenly Stan burst into the room, a big smile on his face.

"Great news everybody!" "You're going to go through with my idea of the Mystery Shack mascot?" asked a hopeful Soos. "Not on your life Soos," was the response. "You realized that we're good workers and deserve a raise?" I ask, a big grin on my face. "Corduroy, you've only been on the job for a week. I hardly call that raise worthy. And you can stop flicking me off behind your back." Damn it, how did he know I did that?

"Back what I was getting at," he said, "I just got off the phone with my nephew Bernie and his wife Cheryl. They're allowing their kids to come up for the summer. I haven't seen those kids since they were babies in the hospital. I had to fight off my younger brother Shermie to hold them, they were so precious and adorable."

"Are you crying Stan?" Stan just looked at me, obviously holding back his tears.

"No, I just got a little dust in my eye." Yeah right.

However, this little newsbreak by my boss started to make me feel uncomfortable and paranoid for a couple of reasons. One, it was creepy to see my boss act like this. Two, I had to deal with my younger brothers at home. They're already handful and a gigantic headache to deal with as it is. I didn't need to look after even more kids (I didn't know if they were kids but I just made that assumption in my mind). So I decided to say something.

"Woah, Woah, Woah! Back up Mr. Pines. Please repeat that in English."

"What, I didn't speak it in Spanish!"

"You know Spanish Mr. Pines? *Amigo, eso es tan impresionante! Podemos hablar unos con otros y-" (*Translation: Dude, that's so awesome! We can talk to each other and-). Both of us just look at Soos as he stops in midsentence. "Whoops, got a little carried away there. Heh heh."

"Anyway, before everything got Telemundo here, no offense Soos." "None taken Wendy." "What the hell is going on here?"

Stan just looked at me. "I'll keep it short since I know you young folk have a hard time paying attention what with your cellphones and internet." I mentally reminded myself to plan a 'payback' against Stan for that remark. "My grandnephew and grandniece are coming up from Piedmont, California tonight and will be staying here at the shack for the summer."

Now a normal teenage girl would be like, "Oh okay." A reasonable teenage girl would be like, "Need me to go pick them up and watch over them?" However I'm a teenage girl that lives with three younger brothers who love to prank, start mischief, try to outdo me in everything, ask me for everything yet give nothing back, and be like spoiled brats, which stresses the hell out of me. Needless to say, I saw my entire world collapsing around me. So get ready for outburst in T-minus 5…4…3…2…1…Boom.

"No. No. No. No. No! NO! You can't do this to me man, you just can't!" "And give me a good reason why?" questioned Stan, the last part of his sentence heavy in annoyance. "Because I don't want to spend my summer job babysitting half the time! I get that *stuff* (yup, potty mouth right here. Guilty as charged) at home already from my younger brothers! I don't need to come from that into work to babysit even more brats!"

Stan just looks at me, squinting his eyes through his glasses into a tiny glare.

"One, this is my place of business and I have the final say in everything, not my cashier."

"Do I have a-"

"Can it Soos! Not now!"

"My bad."

"Two, I may be a miserable old bastard-" He forgot to add cheap and smelly but whatever. "-but I do not, I repeat, do not turn away family. Especially my grandnephew and grandniece! Three, this shack is also my home and my name is on the deed. Therefore, I also have the final say in who stays and who goes. " He then clears his throat before glaring at me. "So, care to continue this argument?"

I then try to pull a bluff, furrowing my brow. "Fine. If they come, I go."

I crossed my arms over my chest and get a smug look on my face. See my train of thought was that they needed me to work the register and if I left, they'd be short a person and Stan would struggle to train somebody. Knowing him, it would be one hellish nightmare. I thought I had it figured out, that Stan was going to cave into my demands. That is…until he came back with the knockout blow.

"Okay sure, quit. I'll just call your dad and tell him. Hope you enjoy the lumberyard. I hear the weather upstate is nice at this time of the year."

All the blood rushes from my face. Holy hell, I didn't think that far ahead. Ugh! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"I'm picking up the phone."

I try to move but I'm frozen in place. "I'm dialing the number." I try to speak but all my words come out as grunts and noises. "Hello, is this the Corduroy residence? May I speak to Daniel Cor-"

Stan didn't finish his sentence as I immediately swiped the phone out of his hand. I'm all worked up into a frenzy, on the verge of tears.

"ALEX, JASON, OR THURMAN! WHOEVER THIS IS, DON'T GET DAD! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T GET DAD! STAN'S LYING ABOUT ME QUITTING, HE'S PULLING A FAST ONE ON YOU! I'M STAYING AT MY JOB NO MATTER WHAT AND-"

"At the tone, the time is 3:32 p.m. Have a nice day."

There was no hole deep enough that I could crawl into to get away, not even the Mystery Shack Bottomless Pit. I just simple hung up the phone, a stunned look was on my face. My natural instincts made me lie down on the floor and curl up into a fetal position. Stan got me good and got me good. Not even the pranks by brothers or my friends got me the way Stan's act did. Part of me was impressed on how he pulled that off with such a cool demeanor. However I was overwhelmed by the mixture of guilt, stupidity, helplessness, and fear to appreciate it (Soos called it 'gustuplessar').

"Now are you done with the drama Corduroy?" Stan asked me.

"Nah man, I'm just gonna lie here for a bit until the end of my shift," I replied back, my voice trembling.

I've faced cougars, coyotes, wolves, and bears in the wild, nearly fell down a waterfall, almost got squished by trees, and nearly get hit by a truck. Yet somehow, Stan found a way to scare me to the core. Only he and my father could ever do that.

"Well if you don't move within the next 15 minutes, I'm dubbing you the 'Flannel Fetal Female' attraction."

Touché old man, touché.

So the remaining hours of my shift pass on by (I regained my composure shortly after my little breakdown). I just had an annoyed scowl on my face the entire time, still feeling stupid and used from my argument with Stan. It didn't help my mood when we had a wave of tourists come by close to closing time. A majority of them had little kids with them who constantly kept staring and me and asked if I had a soul (If I find the person who came up with that stupid insult about redheads with freckles and pale skin, I'm burying a hatchet into their skull).

Any who, the day is over and I'm about to punch out. I just let out a long sigh of relief. Finally the day is over and the weekend is upon us. I'll head on home, wash up, and then see what the gang is up to for tonight.

"Just a second Corduroy."

I painfully winced before turning to see Stan smirking at me.

"I need you to pick up my grandnephew and grandniece at the bus station. Their bus left earlier today and they should be arriving at the bus station soon." If this was a cartoon, my jaw would hit the floor.

"Dude! I'm about to punch out and go home. My day is done."

"Nope, not yet," Stan replied back, "I need you to stay and do overate-er…overeeteer…overererererer-"

I do a small chuckle as I see my boss squirming while trying to say 'overtime.'

"Oh ho. So you want me to do 'overtime' to pick the squirts up for you?" Stan just nodded his head ever so painfully.

"Dude, you are so lucky!" beamed Soos, "I wish I could get to do something fun."

I looked over to Stan as I get a big grin on my face. "Okay but I get to take your car and-"

"THE HELL YOU WILL!" snapped Stan, coughing a little bit to regain his composure from his sudden outburst, "Soos running the Mystery Shack has a better chance of happening than you driving my '65 El Diablo Convertible! You can take the Mystery Cart instead."

I shrug my shoulders. The good news about not having a license is that you don't need one to drive a golf cart. Wait, is there a law? Meh, don't care.

"Just grab the keys from Soos. If you hurry back, I'll also pay you extra."

I only just saw dollar signs. Friday night or not, this was one opportunity I was not going to pass up. I could use the little extra on Saturday night when I'm with my friends. I heard Soos outside before walking out the door, my hands in my front pockets.

"Later Mr. Pines. One order of two grandkids coming up." I don't even give Stan the time to correct me as I just walked out of the Mystery Shack and closed the door behind me.

Once outside, I let out a loud huff of anger that I was holding in. I then saw Soos in his truck, starting it up before I made my way over. "Man this blows. Instead of hanging out with my friends, I gotta sit at bus station and wait for a couple kids to come by."

"Sorry to hear that Wendawg," Soos said to me, as I then sigh. "I mean, what the hell man. I finally get a job and now it's gonna be like back at home: me babysitting a bunch of annoying brats." Soos then cupped his chin to think about what he's going to say. Then, as if a switch has been flipped, he became what is known as Zen Soos.

"Well the predicament that you're in clearly derives from the stress you receive at home. You feel that coming to the Mystery Shack is your sanctuary. In essence, the Mystery Shack is your home away from home where you have more freedom to be yourself and express what's in your heart and on your mind."

I just looked at the ground, twisting my right boot heel into the dirt. "I guess you could say something like that." Jeez, that was actually really deep what he just said. However, that wasn't the end of it.

"Now with Mr. Pines saying he has family coming up here, you instinctively react like it's your own family coming to stay with you. Hence why you acted the way you did." Wow, he's good. "Yet Mr. Pines never showed us a photo of his grandnephew and grandniece. For all we know, they could be around your age, maybe even the same age."

I froze right on the spot. I was so worried about them being really young, I hadn't taken in consideration that they could be teenagers around my age as well. Perhaps even older. My mood then changed from anger/resentment to that of a much lighter, optimistic approach.

"You know…you could be onto something Soos," I said to him, "Maybe I was a little too judgmental earlier and was out of line with Stan earlier." I don't know why but in my mind while I was talking, I kept seeing this brown hair Adonis wearing a 'Stan's Grandnephew' shirt. I shook my head to get that mental picture out of my mind (business before pleasure) before looking at Soos. "Anyways, got the keys to the Mystery Cart?" Soos reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys, tossing them over to me. I snatch them out of the air before walking over to the cart. I hop onto the driver's side, starting up the cart before taking off for the bus station.

It took me a while to drive to the bus station (hey, this thing can only go perhaps 40 mph max and even that's pushing it). I then begin to get second thoughts about going alone. Maybe I should have asked Soos for help. After all he does have a sweet pick-up truck.

Along the way, I see my group of friends about to head into the mall. I want to say something but I don't. Common sense tells me to just do what Stan tells you to do. Well, actually common sense with a little bit of greed and perhaps a tiny bit of lust (hey, I can indulge in my fantasies every now and again. I'm only human). So instead, I drive on by. I zipped past the mall entrance before continuing my way to the bus station. It takes me another 10 minutes to get to the Gravity Falls bus station as enter the parking lot. I parked in the more reclusive part of the lot, figuring that there's little chance of me attracting attention (specifically the attention of local law enforcement so they don't ticket me) as well as decreasing the chance of some idiot bumping into the Mystery Cart with their car door. I walked over to the actual bus station terminal as I began to plan out my summer with Stan's grandnephew and grandniece.

I figured maybe I could shoot the breeze with the grandniece, maybe hangout with her and Tambry while the guys do their own thing (it would be nice to have another female friend that Tambry and I could talk to). With the grandnephew, maybe do some fishing, some hiking, mess around with some lumberjack stuff. For some odd reason, I then got a mental image in my mind of me making out with the Adonis grandnephew from my earlier thoughts. I immediately slapped my glowing red cheeks, bringing me make to reality. Calm down Wendy. You're 15 now, not a boy-crazy 12 year-old. Besides you don't even know what his grandnephew and grandniece look like…or…their...names….ah son of a bitch! I just face palmed myself, letting out a frustrated groan.

In the midst of hurrying down to the bus station, I didn't bother (more like didn't use common sense) to ask Stan what his grandnephew and grandniece look like so I can spot them in the crowd (well, I don't know if he even has a current photo of them so that throws that plan out the window). Nor had I asked what their names were so I can call out when their bus arrives. All I know is that they are coming from Piedmont, California and that their last names are Pines. Wait a minute. A duh! I can just go to the ticket attendant booth and ask when the bus from Piedmont is coming in. That solves the question of when their bus is coming in. Heh, no reason to panic. After all panic is the enemy.

So I just calmly walk up to the ticket receptionist as I asked her. "Hey, I'm waiting on a couple of friends from Piedmont, California. Do you know what bus they are on and when they're coming in?" The attendant just looks at me.

"Names?"

I calmly smiled.

"See to be honest, I don't know their first names off the top of my head. It's been like forever since I last saw them so their first names escape me." It's a little white lie but hey, whatever works. "But I do remember that their last name is 'Pines' if that's any help to you."

"Okay, I'll go check the computer." The attendant just looked over to the computer and began to type something. "Last name Pines. Okay, let's see here. Hm. Hm. Hm. Ah…Pines." She then looked at me. "They're on the Greyhound Bus 618 coming directly from Piedmont, California. They'll be arriving in about an hour or so depending on traffic on the roads."

"Cool, thanks." I just head over to the bench area and take a seat.

They say that time seems to slow down when you are waiting for someone or something. I got at the bus station around 7:02 p.m. and sat down like around 7:09. It's now 7:28 but it feels like I've been there for hours. I keep looking at the overhead screen to see when Greyhound Bus 618 was coming. It seems like the arrival time keeps getting pushed back. Or perhaps I gotten so bored that I'm seeing things. I hope it's the latter. My phone then goes off as I look at it. It's a text from Tambry.

'Hey, where r u?'

I replied back. ' GF bus station.'

A few seconds later, Tambry texted me back. 'Y R U the bus station?'

I replied back. 'Boss wanted me 2 pickup relatives.' I add some more. 'I'm on OT atm. I'll text u when I'm out.'

Tambry then texted me back a few minutes later. 'K. C U l8er'

I just flop in my seat and sigh, my hat slipping over my face. What a way to spend a summer Friday evening. Another eternity passes by (aka, 20 more minutes but it feels like it's been forever) and I'm nearly falling asleep in my chair from a combination of boredom and hunger. Luckily I had a few bucks on me so I got a couple of snacks from a nearby vending machine (dorito chips, nutrigrain bars, and soda. A healthy diet for every growing girl). After I finish my 'dinner,' I just yawned loudly as I got an annoyed look on my face. Yup, what a way to spend a summer Friday evening. What a way to spend a summer Friday evening indeed.

Some more time passes as I'm snoring loudly in my seat. Out of nowhere, I immediately jolt awake from the sound of hissing and a loud motor engine. That better be them or else I'm charging Stan double money.

"Greyhound Bus 618 from Piedmont, California to Gravity Falls has arrived. Greyhound Bus 618 from Piedmont, California to Gravity Falls has arrived."

I then straight my shirt and hat, looking around as I see a group of people get off the bus. Okay, which of them are Stan's grandnephew and grandniece? I go over my options on what course of action to take. Ask each individual? Nah, that would be all sorts of awkward and I really don't want no sensitive Californian pansy calling the cops on me (my family would never let that one down if it did happen). Sit and wait until everybody disperses? I waited nearly an hour for this bus to come, screw that! A written sign with their last name on it? Bingo.

Okay, so I got that first step down. Now comes the tricky part: how do I go about making the sign? I don't exactly have the materials to…wait a second. I grabbed my little marker out from my shirt's left breast pocket. Now what to write on to make the sign? I then see on a nearby bulletin board a motivational speaker flier with a brown hair guy with a goatee and wearing a flannel red shirt on a bulletin board. I get up, walking over to the bulletin board.

I quickly looked around to make sure nobody was looking before just take the flier down and scribble on the back with the marker "PINES." I then make my way over to the bus arrival part of the station, hold the sign up like those drivers you see at the airport picking up people. I throw on a cheesy grin on my face, holding up the sign. The cheesy grin disappears after a few minutes as I realized that was just plain stupid to do.

After some time of waiting and holding up the sign, I see these two teenagers that look around my age. One is a girl with indigo hair (obviously dyed by looks wicked nonetheless), wearing jeans and a rock shirt. Nice, nice. The other is a guy with short brown hair (+10), wearing tight jeans (+100), and t-shirt that showed off his muscles (Over 9,000!). My god…he looks so ripped! I just want to get alone with him so I could…calm down Corduroy! Calm down. Take deep breaths. Wipe that drool from the corner of your mouth and ease up on the boy-craziness. You're passed that age, you're passed that age, you're passed that age.

Still I can't help but make a quick glance at the guy (what? After waiting at the station all this time, I deserve to at least indulge in the eye candy hunk). I have a big grin on my face as I hold up my makeshift sign. However the two just walked right passed me and right out the station. I bite my quivering lower lip to hold in the disappointment I was feeling. I felt like my entire evening was ruined, even if I just made all those scenarios up in my head. But damn it, I-

"Hey! That sign has my last name on it! Awesome!"

I was immediately brought back into reality by the sheer volume of the voice of whoever said that. I immediately look around to see who was speaking to me.

"Hey, over here!"

I looked over to the left to see a shorter girl with long brunette hair and braces, wearing a purple skirt and pink sweater with what appears to be a shooting star with a rainbow trail. She also had her baggage, which included a medium-sized purple suitcase and a smaller green suitcase that looked like a children's sticker book threw up on. Seriously, how many stickers are on that thing?

"Hiya anonymous person holding a sign with my name on it, how are you? My name is Mabel and it rhymes with table."

Oh good lord, I-

"Mabel! What are you doing talking to a stranger?! Are you trying to get kidnapped?!"

I heard another voice shout out, this time male coming from the same direction but further behind the girl. Judging from the sound and the minor cracks in the voice, he's either hitting puberty or rather puberty is hitting him. I then saw a boy, more than not her brother, with the same hair color, wearing khaki shorts, orange shirt, blue vest, and a baseball cap run up to us. I could see why it took him a long time to get here, even though the bus arrival/departure area wasn't that far away. The boy was carrying like a two giant knapsacks and a suitcase in each hand. Sheesh, did ya bring your entire room with you kid?

Before I could even utter something that would resemble a word from the English dictionary, the boy freed up one of his hands to grab the girl by her left wrist to pull her away.

"Get away from her Mabel! Mom and dad told us not to talk to strangers." He then tried to pull her away, only for the girl to just calmly stand in place. Either she's really strong or he's really weak. Judging by how calm she's standing there without barely moving and seeing the boy, I'm going with the later.

"Grr! Errh! Hergh!"

Yup, definitely the latter. Seriously kid, you need to put some muscles on those weak noodle arms of yours.

"Oh relax Dipper," the girl replied back, "She has a sign with our name on it. Well…last name that is. So she's okay."

The boy then fell backwards, landing with a thud as he was panting heavily. "D-D-Don't mind me…catching breath…but…but…don't talk to her. She's a…she's…ho boy, need to…to catch my breath."

I just face-palmed myself, letting out an aggravated groan. Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this headache? Yet further down the road, these two kids would forever change my perspective of this town and forever change my life. But for now, I was in a bus station with Ms. Sunshine and Happiness and Mr. Paranoia Noodle Arms. Yup, what a way to spend a summer Friday evening.

* * *

ZeroFox: Well, there you have it folks. Don't fret. Part two will be out sometime this week. Until then, feel free to leave a comment and/or critique. After all, this is all for you guys, the readers. So until next time, this is ZeroFox signing off. *turns to walk off into the sunset, only to walk off the cliff and do the Goofy scream*

Wendy: *hears and loud crash, wincing before looking below* Ouch, that's gotta hurt.


	3. Meeting the Pines Twins 2

Harlic: Unfortunately, ZeroFox couldn't be here at the moment. He had an 'accident' the last time. Apparently the idiot doesn't know where to look before he walks. So for this chapter, I will be hosting. I hope there are no…objections.

Wendy: N-N-N-None. *gulps nervously*

Harlic: Very well then, if you would please put up the 'disclaimer' or whatever you humans call it. I will be off reading my personal favorite novel, _Firelord_.

Wendy: Is that based off the-

Harlic: I did not open this up for discussion! Now proceed with the disclaimer or I shall devour your heart!

Wendy: Ok! Ok! Ok! CUE THE DISCLAIMER! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CUE THE DISCLAIMER.

Harlic: Much better.

DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFIT FANFICTION! GRAVITY FALLS AND ITS CHARACTERS BELONG TO ALEX HIRSCH AND DISNEY. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE!

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Hey everybody, welcome back to the second part of my first encounter with the Pines twins. I guess a lot of you just assumed we would all be buddy buddy from the get go. Yeah…it went a little different than what most people thought. But the good news is that things did get better later on. Just uh…right now…eh heh heh…not so much.

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(*Insert Gravity Falls Theme*)

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 **Chapter 2:**

 **Meeting the Pines Twins p.2**

Any who, let's just jump back into things from where we left off shall we?

I just face palmed myself, letting out an aggravated groan. Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this headache? It was a Friday night and I was stuck working. By stuck working, I mean my boss told me to come down to the bus station to pick up his grandniece and grandnephew, Mabel and Dipper Pines. Or as I would like to call them Ms. Sunshine and Happiness and Mr. Paranoia Noodle Arms.

See, they came earlier on a bus all the way up from California and yours truly had to wait for them. It should have been a simple pick-up/drop-off operation but nope. It got off to a rocking start when Dipper decided to go all 'Stranger Danger!' Luckily no one really paid attention so that was a good thing. Maybe it was because Dipper was the only one overreacting while Mabel was calm about it. Or maybe that nobody really cared what happened to them (Personally for their sake, I hope it's the former).

Dipper, sat up off the bus station floor before dusting himself off. He cleared his throat in an attempt to regain whatever dignity he had. I almost felt sorry for him. Key word...almost.

"I'm okay, that's normal."

Dude, your definition of normal is kind of pathetic. Almost sad in some aspects.

"I gotcha bro-bro." Mabel then reached over to help her brother up as he just smiled

"Thanks."

"Anytime." Mabel then turned to look at me and then her brother. "Hey bro-bro, should we go with this awesome person with the sign with our last name on it?" Awesome person? I'm beginning to like this Mabel girl already.

"No. No. A thousand times no." Dipper than gave me an uneasy look before looking at his sister. "Mabel, I don't trust her at all. She could be some crazed mountain lady that acts nice but then when we go with her, she'll rip our faces off and wear them like Halloween masks."

Holy hell! What kind of movies have you been watching?! No seriously, what movies have you been watching? I want in!

"Besides, we're looking for our Great Uncle Stanford and that woman is not our Great Uncle Stanford."

If this was a cartoon, you would have seen a small fizzle of black smoke coming off the top of my head to show my annoyance/anger. I don't what was worse: being called crazed mountain lady (I'm saving a punch for Dipper later for that remark) or thinking I was Stan (ugh times 100). "Relax there kiddo," I reply, trying to repress my growing annoyance of the situation, "I know your Great Uncle Stan."

"Stanford," corrected Dipper.

"Yeah, him too. In fact, he actually sent me to the station to pick you guys up and bring you to his house."

"Awesomeness!" beamed Mabel, "So…are you like a distant cousin or something? I wonder if I have to knit you a sweater for the holidays."

"Whoa whoa! Slow down there sport. I'm not a cousin of yours….wait, did you say you were going to knit me a sweater?" I paused for a moment. "Could you make a flannel sweater? Been wanting one for like ages."

"You got it! You want your name stitched in it as well Miss…?"

I just grin. Yup, definitely liking Mabel a lot. "By the way, the name is Gwendolyn. But you call me Wendy for short."

"That's such a beautiful name," whispered Mabel, her pupils about the size of dinner plates.

I was about to say something, something nice but was cut off by a loud "Umm…" coming from Dipper. I just looked at him as he looked at me. I noticed he had a mixed look of nervousness and discomfort.

"Umm…Wendy…"

"Yeah?"

"Are you….You're not like our great aunt….are you?"

They say that the human heart can sometimes skip a beat due to pure terror, pure love, or pure rage. I did feel a small pang of fear in me at the thought somebody believing I was an old man's wife. I wasn't feeling anything of pure love, believe me. So that left with one option: pure rage.

"I have read somewhere that pure mountain air can drastically reduce the aging process of skin cells and-"

I don't hear Dipper blabbing on about whatever he was talking. I was too busy mentally picture myself slugging him right in the mouth and his body going flying through a wall after he asked if I was his great aunt. Why? WHY DOES HE THINK THAT I AM MARRIED TO THAT OLD BASTARD? ERGH! THE SHEER STUPIDITY OF THAT QUESTION IS…oh wow, I have some serious anger issues.

I started to calm myself down, taking deep breaths. I'm not an emotionally unstable teenager, I'm a Corduroy. Not just any Corduroy, I'm Wendy. I've got ice in my veins and the coolest head out of everybody in Gravity Falls. Once I felt myself calm down a bit, I looked at Dipper.

"Dude…I'm 15 (well 15 ½ actually) years old and I am single." I actually felt a part of my soul die when I said that. "I'm not a cousin, 2nd cousin, 3rd cousin, long lost sibling, or-" I take a minute to pause as I shuddered. "-a great aunt. Besides do I look like I could be related to you?" I point to my red hair as well as my freckles and lighter skin. "Do you know anybody in your entire family that has freckles?"

"Our parents said that Grandpa Shermie has a scar on his butt from when Great Uncle Stanford knocked him over to hold us after we were born," informed Mabel.

I remembered what Stan said earlier before sweat-dropping. To be quite honest, it's a little intriguing to know that my cheap, money-grabbing boss has another thing he treasures over making a buck. Then the walking encyclopedia known as Dipper Pines continued to blab.

"Well in some cases, some family households might have multiple people with the same hair color but one person might have a different hair color due to genetics. A-"

"Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah! Come on bro-bro, it's summer vacation," interrupted Mabel, "Besides late and I'm hungry." The younger brunette held her stomach. "Tummy hungry. Gawrgh wargh!"

I then snickered a little bit. "Okay. I think we can stop off at drive through in downtown and-" I was immediately cut off by Dipper rapidly shaking his head. I just groaned. "Kid, just trust me!"

"No! Nuh uh! Nope! Negative!" He then stood firm against me. "I don't care if you say you know our great uncle, I still won't going with some stranger we just met up at the bus station. Let's just wait till Great Uncle Stanford picks us up."

I just grit my teeth and narrow my eyes into a harsh glare. My patience had finally ran out.

I reached down and grabbed Dipper by his shirt collar, pulling him close so we can see eye-to-eye with one another. "Listen you little brat. I have known your great uncle for a really long time, longer than you have known him. He sent me over to get you and bring you over to his home. It's late, I'm tired, I'm hungry, and my Friday night has been ruined. You going all 'stranger danger' on me is not helping the situation at all! Now shut up, get your bags, and follow me to the Mystery Cart so we can head to your Great Uncle Stan's home where I can drop you off and salvage what's left of my Friday night!" If looks could kill, the glare from my eyes would have melted Dipper in an instant. I then continue to add on.

"Or you can continue your stubborn routine and wait here overnight at the bus terminal until tomorrow morning. But just a heads up, they close at midnight and lock the doors so nobody can get in. Also we're having a coyote problem right now. So if you are feeling brave, by all means stay. Just be sure to find higher ground so you won't get eaten!" Well we weren't really having a coyote problem but Dipper didn't know. I just placed him on the ground as he began to hastily pick up his bags up off the floor.

"You make a very sounding case Ms. Wendy. I'm sure Mabel and I can trust a fine young lady as yourself. So, uh, let's go to see Great Uncle Stanford." I watched him scurry to the main terminal exit to the parking lot as I place my hands on my hips, a smirk on my face. I got three younger brothers so I know how to reel them in and do exactly what I tell them. I-HOLY HELL!

Out of nowhere feel a hard slap on my lower back. It felt like somebody broke a 2x4 plank of wood on it.

"Overnight at a bus terminal, that's a good one. Ah ha ha ha ha ha…heh."

THAT WAS MABEL WHO DID THAT?!

"Wait up bro-bro! Don't leave me behind just yet."

Mabel then took a step forward as she stomped on my left foot hard. "Whoopsie daises, didn't see your foot there."

I then get swept up off the ground from her bag knocking into the back of my legs as I land on my back with a thud. I just slowly pick myself up off the floor, wobbling and gasping for air from Mabel's sudden assault. I don't know what's in the water down in California but goddamn, Mabel can hit like a truck. Note to self, do not piss her off. I just hobbled after them, hunching over a little while the area where Mabel slapped me was still hurting. "Ugh…Stan better…*cough*…he better be ready to pay big time."

I finally make my way outside, feeling the cool evening air hit my face. I just looked ahead to see… Dipper and Mabel standing there under a light post with their stuff…and not near the Mystery Cart. Ugh! Why can't things just go the way as I envisioned in my head (such as why couldn't that hunk from earlier be Stan's grandnephew instead of Dipper)?

"Hey. Why aren't you at the Mystery Cart?" I questioned them, walking over to the sibling duo, "The faster we get to the Mystery Cart, the faster we can get you guys to your Great Uncle Stan, and the faster I can salvage my Friday night."

Mabel just looked at me. "Question. What's a Mystery Cart? Is it….mysterious?" She then just chuckled at her little joke.

"You're a riot kid," I muttered under my breath before looking at them, "It's just a golf cart (that Stan probably stole/swindled from the Gravity Falls Mini-Golf & Driving Range) with a giant question mark painted on the hood, little streamers dangling from the side, and a speaker on the top of the roof."

"Is it that thing over there being used by those kids?" Mabel then pointed to a part of the parking lot as I looked.

All the blood rushed out of my face as my jaw dropped in shock. Where I had parked the Mystery Cart, these group of kids were joyriding around in it. I immediately patted down my jean pockets before slapping my forehead. Idiot! I can't believe I left the keys in the cart. Man, Stan is going to flip once he-WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?!

We all just watch the kids drive recklessly in the Mystery Cart, barely avoiding the few parked cars that were left in the lot, running over cans and sticks, and making quick, sharp turns that nearly send the cart itself tumbling off to the side.

"Is that our ride?" asked Dipper.

I don't even pay attention to what he's saying. All my focus is on those kids as my blood began to boil. Now normally, I'm usually cool under pressure in situations like this. But this was different. This was with something that: A. wasn't mine (though it would be pretty awesome to have my own golf cart) and B. I could get blamed for even if it wasn't my fault. If something happened to the Mystery Cart, Stan would kill me, fire me, or something even worse than that: take it out of my paycheck. So good bye Ice Wendy and hello Red Raging Corduroy.

"HEY! HEY!" The kids stopped the cart before looking at me.

"Whadda you want?" sneered the driver.

"WHAT THE *PUCK* ARE YOU LITTLE *SHOOTS* DOING IN MY CART?!" (Yeah, I'll let you figure out what I'm really saying. Here's a hint: It would drive the rating up to Mature).

Mabel immediately frowned and covered her ears as Dipper shot me a cold glare.

"Hey, language!"

"Ah bite me Captain America!" I snapped back (wait, why did I call Dipper that?).

One of them looks at me. "Nunya!"

"Nunya what?" Dumb move Corduroy, I mean really really dumb move.

Nunya business toots!"

Houston, we have reached critical failure and everything is in the red.

"Toots? TOOTS?! ARE YOU *PUCKING* KIDDING ME YOU LITTLE *PUCKING* BRATS?!" I rolled up my sleeves before storming over to them. "GET. OUT. OF. THAT. CART. NOW! OR SO GOD HELP ME, I WILL DRAG ALL YOUR ASSES OUT AND BEAT YOU WITH MY *PUCKING* FISTS!"

"You can't tell us what to do," sneers another kid, "You're not my mom."

"OH, I'LL MAKE YOU *PUCKING* CRY MOMMY WHEN I'M *PUCKING* DONE WITH YOU *PUCKING* BRAT!"

Then out of nowhere, the kid driving the cart then stomped on the gas as the Mystery Cart just peeled out and zoomed right at him. Those little bastards are trying to run me down with my…I mean Stan's cart! I instinctively reach to my right and pull my bowie knife (Tch, like I'd waste a hatchet on these losers) out from its sheath. I crouch down, ready to make a calculative leap out of the way so I could slash the tires as they come by (Err, it wasn't the brightest idea at the time but I wasn't thinking straight. Judging by my circumstances, could ya blame me?).

They got closer and closer as I started to count down in my mind when to jump at the right time. However…

"Lookout!"

Out of nowhere, I got tackled out of the way by Dipper as we tumble onto the ground. We saw the kids zip by us, giving us the finger, before driving out of the parking lot and away from the bus terminal. I slowly picked myself up as did Dipper. However instead of thanking him, well…

"You idiot, why did you do that?! I had everything under control!"

"They were gonna run you over!" replied Dipper, "Also, why do you even have a bowie knife? You could seriously get yourself hurt!"

Woah…Woah…Woah. Is this guy serious?! Our ride just got carjacked…err…cartjacked…and he's going to lecture me about me having a bowie knife?!

"Dipper! Now's not the time to be nitpicking," scolded Mabel, preventing me from going full Chernobyl on her brother, "Besides, I'm sure she had a good reason to do what she did."

I just sheathed my knife back into its holster, calmly clearing my throat. I admit, it would be a little unfair to focus all my wrath on Dipper (I rather save it for those bastard kids). So I calmly looked at him, but still wearing an annoyed scowl on my face. "I…appreciate the help…but I had this situation under control. This wasn't the first time I faced danger like that." Ever face a starving cougar in the wilderness? Trust me, they're 100 times worse than a bunch of brats in a golf cart.

I just went over the events that had transpired in my mind that. But all that did was make me start to see red all over again. "Grrr!" I start to pace back and forth, holding my forehead as then the floodgates were unleashed. "Great! *Pucking* great! This was going to be a quick pick up and drop off but noooooo! Instead, those *pucking* little bastards stole the Mystery Cart and now we're *pucking* stuck here at the *pucking* bus station WITH NO *PUCKING* WAY TO GET OUT OF HERE! ARGH! GOD *PUCKING* DAMN IT!" I just screamed at the top of my lungs, kicking a half-filled soda bottle across the parking lot and into the darkness.

"Hey, here's a thought for you Wendy!" snapped Dipper, giving me a cold glare, "Maybe instead of fuming and saying how the situation sucks, just call our Great Uncle Stanford INSTEAD OF SWEARING UP A STORM!"

I froze before looking at him glaring at me glare. It wasn't one of those 'You want to go' kind of glares. It was more of 'If you continue what you are doing, I will forcibly stop you' kind of glares. I then look over to see Mabel with her sweater above her head as she was covering her ears. I immediately put two and two together before realizing the younger girl wasn't a big fan of cursing.

I took deep breaths, forcibly calming myself down. A wave of guilt then hit me as I looked at the younger girl. "Hey Mabel, I'm sorry I lost my temper and began cursing like that. I didn't realize you are not a fan of cursing. I promise to restrain myself a little better when I'm near you."

"You mean it?" asked Mabel through her sweater, "Promise?"

"I promise," I replied back, "And a Corduroy always keeps their promise no matter what."

Mabel then popped her head out of her sweater, a smile on her face. "Apology accepted."

I glance over to Dipper, who had a smile of approval on his face. Don't get your hopes up. I only apologized because I like Mabel (though it was kind of sweet for her brother to stick up for her….Uh…Uh…DON'T READ INTO IT! BACK TO THE STORY!).

Dipper then cleared his throat as he looked at me. "Well if you want my honest opinion…"

I kinda don't but you're still going to tell me anyways.

"…If you work for our Great Uncle Stanford, you should have his phone number or the number of the place that he works at."

Boom. The realization of that simple solution struck me worse than a falling pine tree. Damn it, why didn't I think of it that? Ugh. I just smacked myself in the head for being an idiot.

I got my phone out from my pocket as I scrolled through my address book. I then stop at the Mystery Shack's number (I have it in case I need to 'call out sick'). I then begin to ponder whether or not to tell Stan what had happened with the Mystery Cart. He'd probably blame me for it. So instead, I scrolled to another number before pressing the dial button. I heard the phone line ringing for a couple of seconds before somebody answered on the line.

"Sup Wendawg?"

"Yo Soos, I'm in a jam at the moment."

"That's not good. What seems to be the problem?"

"I'm stuck at the Gravity Falls bus station with Stan's grandnephew and grandniece. We just had the Mystery Cart get jacked by these punk kids."

"What?! Dude, that is totally not cool at all."

"I know man. They tried to run me over with it when I was trying to get it back."

"Holy Toledo! Hope you're okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine. They couldn't hit me even if they tried." I purposely left out the part where Dipper 'saved' me. "So I was wondering if you could give us a lift to the Mystery Shack. I'll pay you back."

"Don't worry Wendawg, you don't have to pay me back."

"Nah dude, I'll buy you a pizza tomorrow."

"Sweet! I'll be right over."

I then whispered into the phone so that Mabel and Dipper couldn't hear me. "Also, could you do me another solid and help me get the Mystery Cart back. I don't need you to get involved when I find them, I just need you to act as a driver while I hunt those bastards down. If you do, I'll buy you another pizza to go with the first one." It's a little underhand for me to bribe Soos with food but he's got means of transportation while I don't. I could just tell him to wait in the truck while I took care of business.

"Two pizzas? Ho ho! You got yourself deal. Be there as fast as my legs can take me."

A big catlike grin formed on my face as I chuckled to myself. Payback is going to be a bitch for those punks. Out of nowhere, I see a ball of yarn roll bump my left foot.

"Whoops. Sorry about that Wendy."

I glance over to Mabel as I see her knitting. What the…When do kids knit? I thought that was more or less for the elderly.

"What are you doing?"

"Knitting. It helps pass the time," Mabel replies to me, "Almost down making my new sweater to commemorate this groundbreaking event of us coming to Gravity Falls as well as meeting our new buddy, Ms. Wendy Awesome Sauce!"

A split second later, she then fell onto her side violently gasping for air.

"Mabel, you need to learn to breathe in between when you speak," sighed Dipper, helping up his sister.

"Heh heh, whoopsie doodles," she casually replied back.

I just stand there, shocked. How the hell are they so calm in this situation? No really, how could they be so calm in this situation? Either they've been in these scenarios before or they're even calmer than me in stressful situations.

"All done! Check it out bro-bro."

At this point, I'm just gonna go with the former.

"Not bad Mabel."

Yup, definitely the former.

A few minutes passed by as we see Soos' truck pull up into the parking lot. Finally, some relief. The truck then rolled up to us in front of the station as the passenger window lowered to reveal that big, loveable lug (I say that with a lot of affection by the way).

"Beep Beep! Heh heh! Sup dudes, need a lift?"

"Dude, you are a life saver Soos."

I go over to his window as we then fist bump each other. Soos then looked over to the twins, a big smile on his face.

"Ah, you must be Stan's grandnephew and grandniece, Dipper and Mabel."

I honestly froze as all the blood rushed from my face when Soos said their names right off the bat. How? HOW?! The only logical thing I could think of was that Stan talked to him about it. By talked, I mean he kept rambling on and on about them and Soos just took it all in, paying attention to every word. Don't believe me he does that? Ask Soos about the entire Mystery Shack rulebook that Stan wrote. You will be amazed. Either way, I just looked over to the sibling duo as my stunned look became a look of exasperation.

"How did he know our names?" asked a confused Mabel, "Are we that famous? Do you think we'll have our own cartoon series?"

"Dudes, that'd be totally sweet if you did," Soos chimed in, opening up the passenger door, "Come on in, I'll take you guys back to the Mystery Shack."

"All right!" beamed Mabel, ready to jump in, "I call shotgun!"

However, Dipper immediately pulled Mabel back and stood in front of her, trying to protect his sister. I just face palm myself again.

"Dipper, just cut the 'protective brother' routine. This man is Jesus "Soos" Ramirez."

"Hiyo!" Soos exclaimed in a cheerful voice, waving at the duo.

"He also works with your Great Uncle Stan in his workplace as the utility guy."

"I can fix anything and everything. No problem is too big or too small for-"

"Not now Soos."

"Okay!" Soos then started to hum his own little song, tapping his hands on the steering wheel to go along with the beat.

"But can we trust him?" asked Dipper, directing his question towards me; "It seems pretty suspicious that you two are over here instead of our Great Uncle Stanford. That's how these kidnappings happen! We meet up with people who say they know our Great Uncle Stanford and-"

I had enough from Dipper as I bent down and get in his face, cutting him off before he could continue his rambling. "Listen you little brat, you better not start with that 'Stranger Danger' crap again! Remember earlier when I said you could come with me or stay here and deal with coyotes? I forgot to mention we also get wolves around this part of Oregon."

"And werewolves like the postman," added Soos.

"Can it Soos!"

"My bad, but you still should keep an eye out for him."

I just sighed before continuing on with Dipper. "Ever see what happens when a pack of coyotes or a pack of wolves get a hold of prey? It's not pretty whatsoever and they do not leave scraps behind either."

Now to be fair, I haven't seen a coyote or wolf attack a human (nor do I ever want to). But when I did some late night hunting and wilderness training with my father and brothers, I saw a pack of coyotes take down a deer easily one night and a pack of wolves take down a moose on another. Needless to say, it wasn't pretty. That and I didn't get that much sleep those nights either.

Dipper immediately threw his things as well as quickly packed up Mabel's things and placed the bags into the bed of Soos' truck. I then get on the driver's side to sit shotgun while Dipper and Mabel got in the back. Soos then turned to us.

"Seat belts por favor." The twins just look at him, confused. "Oops. My bad dudes. Seat belts please."

"Ah."

Mabel easily straps in her seatbelt as Dipper struggled with his.

"Hey, my seatbelt isn't working." I completely ignored Dipper before pointing ahead.

"Gun it Soos."

"You got it."

"Wait! Wait! WAIT!" Too late.

Soos peeled out of the parking lot as Dipper began to freak out in the back seat.

"SLOW DOWN! I'M NOT STRAPPED IN YET! AH! AH! AH!"

"WHEE! FASTER MR. SOOS! FASTER I SAY!"

We end up driving along the main road as Soos then decided to do a mini-tour of the town. And by mini-tour, I mean showed them a few stores. An angry grunt shortened the tour however (I'll let you figure out who made that grunt).

"And that is the Gravity Falls Arcade. Trust me, you'll spend a lot of time in there. They got all these cool games, plus skeeball dudes!"

"I love skeeball!" beamed Mabel.

"I think I'm gonna be car sick," groaned out Dipper.

I rolled my eyes. What a wimp Dipper kid is. I mean, we're not even going that fast. How the hell did he get car sick? Seriously, he really needs to toughen up and…

"Soos! Stop the truck now!"

Soos immediately slammed on the brakes as Dipper went flying face first into the back of my seat. The momentum got carried over and forced me to go forward and smash my head on the dashboard. We both held our heads in pain as I then found out later, Mabel had recorded the whole thing on a small phone.

"Ha ha, just like in the cartoons."

I shook my head before looking over to the right to see why I asked Soos to stop his truck so suddenly. Parked outside in the arcade parking lot was the Mystery Cart. Without even thinking, I immediately take my seatbelt off before getting out of the truck. I closed the door behind before turning to face Soos. "Be right back. I just need to 'take care' of somethings."

On my face was an innocent smile, almost angelic. Mabel and Dipper shivered in their seats, figuring out what was going to happen as Soos just smiled.

"Okay, have fun."

"I will Soos," I casually replied back, turning to go inside, "I definitely will." That innocent smile that was on my face? As soon as I turned around, it morphed into a sadistic grin. Oh those little bastards were gonna regret they ever crossed Gwendolyn Blerble Corduroy. I rolled up my sleeves before walking inside the arcade.

Soos and the Pines duo then heard me bark out loud, "WHICH OF YOU *PUCKING* PUNKS IS DRIVING THAT GOLF CART?!" I guess to pass the time while I was in the arcade, they were playing a game of some sort

"So, who's up for a game of 'I-Spy' right now? Anyone?"

"Oooh, me! I do! I do!"

"Sweet. Okay Mabel, I spy…."

A few minutes later, I came back out with my hands in my pocket, a smile on my face, and was casually whistling. Before anybody asked, I pulled my right hand out from my pocket and held up the cart keys.

"Dude, you got the keys back," laughed Soos.

"Yup, sure did," I replied back, "So it turns out those kids were in the arcade. We had a 'discussion' about resolving our early 'confrontation' at the bus station and they were more than willing to apologize and give back the keys."

For those who want to know what really happened, I'll keep it short. I went in, found the little bastards, they decided they were gonna try to overtake me with numbers, I shattered their noses and knocked out some of their teeth, they gave up immediately and gave me the cart keys back. Those kids learned one of life's most valuable lesson: Never piss off a Corduroy, especially the eldest child of Manly Dan.

"So it sounded like everything went all right in there."

"You could say that Soos," I replied, making my way over to the Mystery Cart. I hop into the driver's side on the cart, inserting the key into the ignition, and fired up the engine. Phew, they didn't break it our anything. I just casually back up before driving up to Soos' truck. "Thanks for all your help Soos, I can take it from here."

"You sure Wendy?"

"I'm positive Soos. Go enjoy the rest of your Friday evening dude." I then quickly muttered under my breath, "Well at least once of us can _._ " Mabel and Dipper hop out of the truck, grabbing their things from the truck bed before putting them in the back seat of the Mystery Cart.

"Bye Soos! Nice meeting you!" Mabel exclaims in a cheerful tone.

"Nice meeting you too Hambone."

Hambone? I can see Wendawg because of my name but Hambone? Where does that derive from Mabel? Eh, it's Soos so I'm not gonna try to question it. Mabel, however, loved the new nickname Soos bestowed upon her and nearly exploded with excitement from the ensuing fist bump.

Dipper just looked at Soos before weakly smiling. "Thank you."

"Ah don't mention it Dipper. Oh, and uh don't worry about Wendy. She's actually-"

I menacingly cracked my knuckles at Soos, giving the hint I want him to stop talking. Now normally I don't do that to Soo. But my patience was really thin at the moment and he wasn't gonna stop talking anytime soon. It worked.

"-actually really needs to drop you kids off to the Mystery Shack because Stan's probably waiting a long time. Later, bye!"

Soos then drove off as I sighed to myself. I guess I'll through in a third pizza as an apology for that. I quickly looked over to the Pines twins. "Seat belts please."

"Okay!" beamed Mabel, buckling up.

Dipper buckled up his seatbelt. However he noticed a red blot on my shirt near my buttons.

"Is…Is that blood?"

I don't even respond. I just simply stomped on the gas pedal as we peeled out of the parking lot. I ignored his screams of terror as did his sister, who was busy sticking her head off to the side, enjoying the wind in her.

We arrived at the Mystery Shack as I slowed down, coming to a halt. I sighed to myself, a look of relief on my face. My hellish evening is about to come to a close. Now all I had to do was drop them off, give Stan the keys, and head off on my bike. Simple right? I looked over to Mabel and Dipper. "Okay, grab your things and follow me." I turned off the Mystery Cart as we all got out.

Dipper was busy trembling as he had a horrified look on his face.

"Stop it with the drama kid and hurry up," I growled. We then made our way to the front door as I was about to place my hand on the knob to open up. "The sooner we get in, the sooner we can-"

"Holy Moses Wendy! What kept you?!"

The door swung open as standing in the doorway was a frantic Stan.

"Where were you?! You were gone for hours. I was gonna call the cops to keep an eye on…why are there blood stains on your shirt?"

"Long story Mr. Pines," I replied back. He didn't need to know the details, right? But Mabel just had to speak up.

"Hi there Mr. Old Stranger person! Mabel here. See the reason why we're late was because Wendy was picking us up but this golf cart got stolen by kids. So she called her other stranger friend Soos and we got it back and now we're here."

Stan's jaw just dropped in shock as he looked right at me. Now a normal person would-ah screw it. We all know what the first thing Stan would ask me or anybody in this sort of situation.

"You didn't get spot by Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland, did you?"

I just shrugged my shoulders. A mischievous smirk was on my face. "If there are no law enforcement around, it's perfectly legal." Stan just chuckled.

"That's what I want to hear." I simply walked inside, heading to the time clock to punch out. While I was doing that, the sibling duo were getting to know who they were going to be staying with for the summer.

"So…are you are Great Uncle Stanford?" asked Dipper.

Stan just let out a hearty laughter, "Yup! You got it kiddo! I'm your Grunkle Stan!"

Mabel tilted her head in confusion, making an 'Aroo?' sound as Dipper just scratched his head with his right hand.

"What's a Grunkle?"

"It's an easier and faster way to say Great Uncle," explained Stan, "After all time is money and if you're wasting time, you're wasting money."

Speaking of which. I then cleared my throat in a loud, obvious manner.

"Something wrong with you Corduroy?"

"Speaking of time and money?" I just hold out my right hand, motioning Stan to put something it. Something papery and green. Dipper and Mabel look at Stan and myself as the old man reached into his pocket.

"Sheesh, couldn't you have-"

"Stan, I think we all know the answer at this point," I said, cutting him off. Stan just sighed as he then pulled out a small envelope and handed it to me.

"Knock yourself out."

I took the small envelope as I…Holy hell! It feels heavy. There's gotta be like a few hundred in here Sweet! I ran out of the Mystery Shack, an elated grin was on my face. I quickly made my way over to my bike before hopping on and pedaling off to downtown. While on my way, I got out my phone and auto-dialed for Tambry.

"Yo Tambry! I'm off work! Where are you? Laser tag at Big Gunz Laser Tag with the gang? Sweet! Tell everybody that next game is on me because I just got paid and I got paid big time!" I hung up and pedaled down to Big Gunz Laser Tag as fast as I could.

Maybe doing that little favor for Stan was worth the headaches, those punks stealing the cart, and Dipper giving me a hard time. I just get a scowl in frustration as I thought about that boy. That Mabel girl seems all right, lot of spunk and no fear either. I respect that. But her brother Dipper…grrr…well…he better stay away from me for the rest of the summer.

I arrived at Big Gunz Laser Tag, seeing the gang there as I have a big grin on my face. "Sup dudes! Mind if I join in?"

"Hell yeah you can! We sat out a game just for you," said Lee.

"Well to show my appreciation, the next few games are on me!" I beamed, puffing up my chest proudly.

"Really?" asked Thompson.

I pull out the envelope that Stan gave me and smirk, slapping it against my hand to show how heavy it was. Everybody begins chanting my name as we all go inside. I walk right up to the register counter with everybody behind me, grinning. "I'd like to purchase the next few games for myself and my friends."

"That'll be $90.50," said the cashier person.

I just reached into the envelope and pull out some cash, a smirk on my face. "I'm sure this will cover it."

The cashier takes the money, looking at the money before handing it back to me. "Sorry but we only accept real money."

"What?"

"Yeah, it's cute that you think you can pass off fake money as real money."

I fumed a bit, furrowing my brow. "Look dude, just take my money. It's legit! My boss just paid me so take the damn money already and let us play."

"Not taking it."

"LOOK! I JUST HAD THE *SHOOTIEST* PAST FEW HOURS! I WANT TO ENJOY THE REST OF MY FRIDAY WITH MY FRIENDS, OKAY?!"

The cashier just furrowed his brow. "How about instead of screaming at me at the top of your lungs, why don't actually check to see what he gave you?"

"You know what, will! Then we'll see who'll have the last laugh!"

I look down at what appeared to be money as I start to shake, veins pulsating on my temple, my teeth gritting against themselves. Instead of green dollar bills like regular ones, I just had in my possession a poorly drawn attempt at a dollar bill. However it had a cartoon picture of Stan as under it was 'Stanbucks' while the cartoon Stan had a speech bubble that read 'It's money!' I was had, duped, embarrassed, and all I saw was red.

Now they say that the loudest the human voice can get is 120 decibels, the same loudness as a police siren (I was actually paying attention in science that day). From what my friends told me, I surpassed that level. In fact, according to Lee, a few screens cracked and Robbie added that Thompson nearly wet himself in fear. Not even the indignity of Thompson wetting himself could compare to how I felt that exact moment.

The next day, I just had a disgruntled look on my face for almost my entire shift. All the while, I was tapping my left index finger on the register counter. Oh, Stan is going to rue the day he pulled that on me. If he ever tries that stunt with me again, I will murder-

"Hey Ms. Sourpuss, why the long face?"

I looked over to my left to see Mabel, seeing her wear a pink sweater with a shooting star with rainbow and purple skirt. "You look upset."

"Nah, I'm just fine. Better than a pig in sh-mud." Whoops, almost let that one slip out. I just sighed to myself, realizing that I would have to 'censor' myself when I'm around Mabel.

"Ah ok. So what's on your mind right now?"

"How I'm going to murder your Grunkle Stan while he sleeps."

Mabel just blinked her eyes a few times before completely ignoring (or rather blocking out) what I just had said. She then hopped up onto the countertop to look at me. "Aww, sorry to hear that. You know what will make things better?"

"Stan's head on a silver platter and all of his money in my possession."

"Err…not really but I got the next best thing."

"A gun to shoot him?"

"Nope. A big Mabel hug!"

I then felt two arms wrap around me as Mabel hugs me tight. It wasn't like a constricting hug or anything, but a soft, gentle hug. For some odd reason, the anger and resentment just went away as I allowed my head to get placed on her chest.

"It's okay, Mabel is here for you to cheer you up and make you feel better." She then started to stroke the back of my head as I just sighed contently. Maybe it was the girl support I got from Mabel that made me feel so content or maybe this was the first time I felt a warmth like this since….since….mom.

After a few minutes of bliss, Mabel broke her hug before grinning excitedly. "You're a lot nicer when you're smiling and prettier too."

My cheeks became a little red as she said that.

"I wish bro-bro could see that."

Aaaaaaaaaaand moment ruined.

"Now off I go to town to scoop out any potential hotties for a summer romance. Bye bye!"

Mabel then happily skipped out of the shack as I just face fault from her last comment. Man, to have that kind of enthusiasm, optimism, and energy at that age. However her little comment of her wishing her brother could see me smile made me scowl and cringe.

No way am I gonna be buddy buddy with that dork Dipper! After the crap he gave me last night, he's lucky I didn't slug him in the face. Tch, hell will have to freeze over before I'm nice to that dork. Speaking of, where is he?

I then turn my head to look outside the window. I then see Dipper trying to carry some logs. I just snicker as I see he can barely carry one log. Thurman could carry a bundle of logs on his back before he learned to walk as a baby.

Out of nowhere, I saw Stan jump out from behind a tree with a goblin mask on and spook Dipper. I never heard a more girlish scream from a boy, nor did I ever see one run as fast as he did. Dipper just ran back into the shack, past me behind the register without even bothering to pay attention to his surroundings. All the while, he was still screaming like a girl as he ran to the back part of the shack. More than not, probably to hide in his room like a little baby.

Part of me just wanted to bash my head in as I felt I would be dealing with that all summer long. However the other half, which was what I was feeling at that moment, had a big smirk on my face to see him squirm a bit. It only got better as then a hawk flew down and started to attack Stan, causing my boss to run around screaming.

"ACK! NOT THE FACE! OW! DAMN IT! SOOS! GET A TENNIS RACKET! OW!"

Heh, serves him right for conning me last night.

I then stretch out my back and continue on with my shift at the register. At first glance, I thought that this summer was going to be a pain dealing with a very outgoing, touchy-feely Mabel and a very timid, yet annoying Dipper. However, what I could not predict was how those two would change everything that I knew and everything that I was.

"SOOS! WHERE! *OW*! IS! *OW* THAT RACKET? *ARGH*!"

But until then, it was just gonna be an adventure all on its own on keeping my patient at this point.

* * *

Harlic: Heh, you're a real demon when you're furious. I respect that.

Wendy: Th-Th-Thank you.

Harlic: Well I guess that concludes this chapter. I will send all your condolences to ZeroFox for his speedy recovery.

ZeroFox: *walks onto the set* I'm fine, I just-HERGH! *got picked up and held in the air by a fox tail*

Harlic: Be also to leave any comments, critiques, or whatever you feel like in reviews section. We'll still be here.

(*ZeroFox is gasping for air while Wendy is hiding behind the couch with her bowie knife out*)

Harlic: Until next time. Ja ne.


	4. Tourist Trapped 1

ZeroFox: SEMESTER IS OVER! THE SEMESTER IS OVER! NO MORE FINALS! NO MORE FINALS!

Wendy: Weren't your finals last week?

ZeroFox: True. But then another assignment that was due on the last day appeared. Word of advice, become an electrical technician or a plumber.

Wendy: I…see….

Harlic: *is reading her book on the sofa* Advice from a moron is still bad advice.

ZeroFox: You know, you are such a bitch Harlic.

Harlic: *calmly reads her book while giving ZeroFox the finger*

ZeroFox: *sigh* Just cue the disclaimer already.

Disclaimer: THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFT FANFICTION! GRAVITY FALLS AND ITS CHARACTERS ARE OWNED BY ALEX HIRSCH AND DISNEY! PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE!

* * *

What up dudes. You didn't think that I'd be done after two little chapters, did you? You did? Wow, I'm hurt. Psyche. Hey, I'm not like those snotty prep girls you see in high school or around town (*cough* *cough* Northwest *cough* *cough*) But anyways, I bet you were all stunned about how my first interaction with the Pines twins really went.

I admit it wasn't exactly the best first impression per say. Hey, don't look at me like that. I was under a lot of stress that night. But even so, sometimes the greatest of friendships start off a little rocky before they turn into bonds that last through time.

So with that being said, let's get this party started!

* * *

(*Insert Gravity Falls Theme)

* * *

 **Chapter 3:**

 **Tourist Trapped p.1**

So last time, I had my first encounter with the Pines twins, Dipper and Mabel. Needless to say it wasn't exactly the best first impressions one could have (hmm, why do I feel like I'm repeating myself. Weird). It also didn't help that the Mystery Cart was stolen during the whole thing and how I was nearly ran over by it. Needless to say, the two were dropped off at the Mystery Shack to stay for the summer. Also, I managed to build a reputation of somebody you don't want to *puck* around with (I don't know how that happened...*wink*).

Now before I prattle on some more, let's talk about some of the things I learned about the Pines twins or rather just learned about those two in the short time that I have come into contact with them (eh, give or take at least a week maximum).

First off, Dipper is very protective of his sister Mabel and is not a big fan of people who swear around her. When that happens, he gets into like a protective guard dog state and begins to growl. But it's more of a little yuppie toy dog more than anything else. For some odd reason though, I just pictured Dipper as a dachshund when he gets like that. I guess it's because I always liked that breed because they looked cute and-HEY! Don't you dare go down that road! I'll only say it once and once only. There is not and will not (and I put a huge emphasis on 'will not' part) be anything going on between me and that annoying little brat! In fact, I'll bet my next paycheck on it.

Anyway, getting back on track…..

Next, Mabel is very protective of Dipper and will not, I repeat, will not hesitate to retaliate. I found out the hard at the bus station the other night when I had a 'little discussion' with Dipper. I brought that incident up with Stan and he laughed, saying Mabel went easy on me. He then added she got suspended from school a few times over the years for beating up kids that made fun of Dipper. I was impressed.

Still, I ended walking funny for a couple of days, hunched over from where she hit me on my back. I was also hobbling a while from where she stomped on my foot (seriously, how does one little girl have that much hit power? I didn't have that much hit power when I was her age…however old she is).

It didn't exactly help when one day, Jason thought it be funny to whack me in that same spot to see what would happen. Oh he was so lucky I was in pain otherwise would have lost two baby teeth right on the spot (I still got him back later on. Let's just say he now sleeps with one eye open when he naps on the living room couch).

Now the third thing. I don't know why but something about Dipper just annoyed the ever living crap out of me. Maybe it was the constant barrage of questions of who I was, the constant barrage of questions about the town, or the constant freaking out at everything on the hour every hour. It's enough to make me wanna bash my head into the counter (I did once and somehow ended up with a minor concussion).

I mean, no matter what answer I give Dipper, he doesn't leave me alone. I just wanna…ergh! Man, he's a pain in the ass…well not that big of a pain compared to my brothers so I'll give him that.

Finally the last thing and it's perhaps one of the biggest grievances I got with Mabel Pines. It's this: Mabel Pines. Is. Absolutely. Boy. Crazy! I mean sure, every girl has that phase when growing up (except me…..ok fine. So might've had gone through something similar as she did) but it's just like 'Oh, I think that guy is cute,' 'He looks nice,' or 'Hey, you want to play house? I call shots of being the man of the house.' (Eh heh heh, I wonder who said that while growing up and playing house).

But with Mabel, she just pushes it to the extreme and I mean to the extreme. As a fellow girl, I respect her enthusiasm and energy but holy cow, she needs to learn the term 'tone it down.'

Honest to god, anything that was of the male gender was a target and prime for the flirting, especially the age group of 11-17 (why as low as 11? I don't know, maybe she's into younger guys or something. It's not like there's anything wrong with liking somebody younger….MOVING ON NOW!).

It starts with small conversations before a giant introduction and followed by asking about marriage and then finishing up with the boy freaking out and running away in fright. I think she asked like half a dozen boys if they wanted to get married. While all of that is going on, Stan is lapping it all up because he thinks what Mabel is doing is 'adorable.'

"Ah kids. You can never start too young when you're in love."

Dude, we live in 2012, not 1012 where the life expectancy was between the ages of 25-30 for the serf/peasant class. That's also assuming a person didn't die at childbirth whether it be the child or the mother giving birth and….WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?! I seriously need to play more video games to mush my brain so I stop spouting random information.

Anyway….but the most annoying about the whole situation with those two kids (again, don't know how old they are) is that Stan actually has them working with me in the shop! Oh sure, it's nice to have somebody else do the stocking of the shelves when it gets really busy or be the one who has to work with Stan in coming up with 'new attractions' for the Shack (that aspect of the job is still by far the most aggravating part).

But outside of that, I'm asked to 'watch over them' nearly half the time to make sure they stay out of trouble and stay out of Stan's hair. If you were too busy to watch them, why'd you bring them up here?! Ugh, I don't think I'll ever understand that man or how his brain process (hell I could get teleported into Stan's mind and still would be clueless in figuring him out).

But even watching those two over them is a hassle in its own.

With Mabel, it's two things. First, it's dealing her boy craziness as I had mentioned earlier. She's always constantly flirting with any boy that walks into the store. I'm surprised nobody has sued us by now for sexual harassment (although Mabel is banned from the Mattress King store. Don't really know why though).

The other thing with Mabel is that even though she means well, she has this constant habit or knack of hers of knocking over some of the stands in the Shack and breaking things when she gets excited or hyper. I mean a bull in a China shop would cause less of a mess than her. Ironically enough, Mabel causes the biggest messes when it comes to doing work or 'helping me out' with some things. But instead of helping, she ends up breaking stuff and causing a ruckus, which leaves one poor sap to suffer from all that (I'll give you a hint, the sucker happens to be of female gender).

Perfect example of it was the other day after lunch. I was working the register when I saw out of the corner of my eye Mabel trying to carry an open box of snow globes. Of course she couldn't see where she was going and ended up tripping over a nail that was sticking out of the floor (apparently Soos forgot to hammer that down when fixing it from earlier when, you guessed it, Mabel dropped a box full of Mystery Shack pet rocks).

Of course the box goes flying out of Mabel's hands and who does it go flying at? Me of course. Nothing builds character like getting pelted by cheaply made snow globes. It didn't help that a majority of those snow globes broke and spilt their contents on me either. Then, as if it was written like a play, Stan came out of his office and just saw the entire mess.

"Hot Belgian waffles! What happened here?"

"I helped somewhat!" beamed Mabel, immediately hopping off the ground. She then looked over to the box and then to where all the snow globes landed. "But I think you might need some new snow globes."

Then, as if on cue, Stan directed his attention towards me and saw my current state. Now a normal boss would be like, "Hey, are you okay? Here, take the rest of the day off to go wash up." Nope, not Stan.

"Ha! You look like a wet flannel blanket. Now clean this mess up before any customers come by. We need to make sure that the Mystery Shack looks spotless."

See, Boss of the Year material right there.

"Oh by the way, I'd get dried up quickly. That snow globe water contained pure alcohol. Helps keep everything in their fresh and mold free."

Wait, what?! WHAT?!

"GAAAAHHHHH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS SO MUCH! WHY?!"

Oh that was a fun trip to the hospital that day. But on the bright side, all the cuts I got from the broken glass were cleaned and disinfected. Lucky me (I was being sarcastic if you didn't catch the hint).

But when she's not flirting or breaking things, Mabel just keeps asking a bunch of questions that seem like there's no end to them. Like one day when it was slow, we just started a little girl talk (by 'we,' I mean Mabel and by 'girl talk,' I mean Mabel asking me a barrage of never-ending questions).

"So what do you do up here for fun in Gravity Falls?" Mabel asked

"Well you know, outdoors stuff for the most part," I casually replied, reading my magazine.

"Cool? Like hiking, kayaking, drinking, and spelunking?"

"Yeah sure (spelunking? What the hell?). We also have mini-golf, a baseball field, indoor sports complex, a movie theater, a mall, and much more. You know, stuff that growing teens enjoy doing."

"Fun fun fun. So have you done any of those things?"

"Yes, quite a few times with my friends."

"Was it fun?"

"*Sigh* Yup, it was fun."

"Are you just saying that?"

"Grrr…No. I am not just saying 'Yes' for the sake of saying it. Now could you please stop asking me so many questions?"

"Ok."

"That's better."

"….One last question."

"Ugh…What?!"

"What are some good tips on getting boyfriend? I mean, I know I got cute looks, I'm a snazzy dresser with these fun sweaters, I-"

I suffered a concussion that day from banging my head on the register, an act of desperation to try to momentarily get away from the never-ending onslaught of questions (don't judge me, you would have done the same). But even after I passed out onto the floor, she still kept going on and on and on and on.

"- can also burp the ABCs, I'm amazing in front of the camera-"

"Dude, you sound like one talented girl."

No Soos! For the love of God, don't encourage her to continue!

"You should totally be like on some sort of talent show or something like that."

"Why thank you Soos. I can see it now! Mabel Pines….famous Hollywood actress. And I would dedicate all my work to my adoring fans."

"Wow! You're like that actress who shows a lot of passion for her fans. What was her name again?"

"Ugghhhhh."

"Oh yeah. You're like Jennifer Lawrence."

"Why thank you Soos. That's so nice of you to say that."

"Ha ha. Don't thank me Hambone, thank Wendawg."

"Uuuuuuuhhhhh."

But if Mabel was bad, Dipper was 10 times even worse. I don't know how he was raised or what caused him to be like this, but that kid (I don't really know how old he is but whatever just roll with it) just won't stop *pucking* panicking over the littlest things. He makes Thompson look like that Sir William Wallace dude from Braveheart (It was film they made us watch in History. It was all right I guess). Not a day went by without Dipper constantly freaking out about something and me having to deal with it.

Like one day….

"AAAAH! POISONOUS SPIDER! POISONOUS SPIDER IN THE KITCHEN!"

"Dude, that's just a wolf spider. It's harmless if you leave it alone."

Then another day…

"AAHH! THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!"

"Jeez, settle down cowboy. It's only a northwestern garter snake. They are harmless and only eat like frogs and rodents (and annoying young city boys who don't know when to stop talking)."

Then another day…

"AHHH! MONSTER OUTSIDE! THERE'S A MONSTER OUTSIDE THAT'S GONNA ATTACK GRUNKLE STAN!"

"Would you stop it already?! That's only Toby Determined from the Gravity Falls Gossiper. Although…I don't really blame you for freaking out like that." No offense to Toby but YEESH! Also, why was he interviewing Stan with a turkey baster?

And then another day…

"AHHH! THERE'S A TINY BEARDED GUY OUT IN THE WOODS!"

"That's it, I'm taking my break early!"

Oh, that little thing with the tiny bearded guy? I swear that I think the fresh mountain air is poisoning his city brain. I mean it's like every day he keeps running into the Mystery Shack, gasping for air and all in a panic. Usually he spouts some weird nonsense that he saw something in the woods.

Trust me, I've lived in Gravity Falls all my life. Since I learned to walk, I have been climbing trees, hiking in the woods, and practicing apocalypse survival training from my old man (I'll explain about that later). I've practically explored every inch of the Gravity Falls woods. So I know…no, I'm 100% certain that there are no weird creatures. No little bearded men, no vegetables with human faces or emotions, no giant vampire bats, or anything of the sort.

Even if there were creatures in the woods, they were just made up by lumberjacks to scare their kids. I know since my dad used to scare the bejesus out of me with his tales of 'The Hide-Behind,' 'The Wendigo,' and 'The Sasquatch' when I was younger.

One day, it was slow and we barely had any customers. Mabel was doing Mabel things, Soos was repairing something in the back, and Stan was MIA (and I didn't care). I was the only one in the shop area when Dipper came running into the Mystery Shack, panting and sweating.

"Guys! Guys! Guys! I just saw something in the woods!"

He didn't see anybody around except me at the register reading a magazine. So Dipper came running up to me to tell me what he had saw.

"Wendy! Wendy! You're not going to believe what I just saw in the woods."

I just flipped a page in my magazine. "Not really interested in hearing about it kid."

"Okay, here it goes."

I just sighed, a frown on my face as I turned another page in my magazine. Apparently he didn't get the hint.

"While I was in the woods, I saw a footprint that had like two toes. I don't think any animals in this region of Oregon has that kind of footprint."

"It probably was a deer hove print."

"But it was like a foot in length and had two pronged toes!"

I stopped reading my magazine before lowering it onto the countertop. Where did I hear a footprint description like that…Oh…Oh…Oh. It then hit me like a ton of breaks. That description of the footprint Dipper used was the same one that my dad used in his stories to tell me when describing the Hide Behind. For a split second, my blood ran cold since that story used to terrify me when I was younger.

But then I told myself that this was Dipper. This was a kid who thought everything in that woods is some weird supernatural creature and that the Mystery Shack was haunted the first night he stayed here (i.e. weird lights, strange sounds, and the occasional floating objects according to his descriptions or whatever). So I just tried to ignore him by picking up my magazine and continued to read it. Nope, that didn't work either.

"Come on Wendy, I'll show you."

I felt his hand grab my wrist as he tried to pull me off my stool. I simply sat up and placed my right foot down, shifting my weight all onto that side (it's a lot easier than it sounds). Cue Dipper struggling to pull me off and totally fail at it. After a few minutes of mentally laughing at him, I decided to end the struggle. I slipped free of his grasp before proceeding to give him an annoyed glare.

"Idiot, I can't leave the register. Your Grunkle (heh, Grunkle. Still can't get over that) Stan would get on my case if I left."

That was a partial lie since I had ditched the register a couple times just to try to get away from everybody. Besides, I didn't want to go out into the woods and look at those footprints (I-I-I-It's not that I was afraid, it's just…uh…I didn't feel like going into the woods at that point and time).

"But you have to see these tracks. They look so…so…so unnatural to anything in this area."

Now my patience was starting to wear thin at that point. But before it did, I got an idea to not only get Dipper to leave me alone and also scare the crap out of him in the process.

"On second thought, you could be on to something Dorker."

"Uh, it's Dipper."

"Whatever. So those tracks you were gonna show me, they weren't tracks made by an animal or a human."

"Who made them?" asked Dipper, a bead of sweat dripping down his face.

I mentally grinned. Hook. Line. Sinker.

"It was something else. Something…non-human."

Dipper just gulped loudly as he looked at me. "What do you mean?"

"Those tracks were made by terrible creature whose name alone can send the bravest, manliest lumberjack crying to his mother," I continued with my tale, "The dreaded Hide Behind."

If this was a cartoon, Dipper would be shaking uncontrollably and his pupils would shrink to the size of a period in a book.

"Wh-Wh-What's the Hide Behind?"

I admit, I started to feel a little guilty about continuing…for about a second that is.

I then lowered the volume of my voice to almost a whispery, gravely tone. "They say the Hide Behind is a creature that nobody has ever seen. It can move faster through the shadows of the forest, perfectly aligning itself to its surroundings. There's no video or photographic evidence of this creature, just footprints and claw markings."

I heard a loud gulp coming from Dipper as I decided to drop the bomb on him. "But there are a few people who have seen the Hide Behind in real life, though. However…" I pause to add in a little affect.

"However what? What happened to them?"

I just looked at Dipper square in the face. "They disappear and then turn up dead with their throats slit and all of their blood drained." What Dipper didn't know was I essentially was telling him the Hide Behind tale my father told me, almost word for word. Except for that last part of the throat slitting and blood draining. That one was all Wendy. Was it cheesy? Yup. Did it scare Dipper? Oh hell yeah it did.

Dipper turned white and I mean like white like there was no color in his face. I honest to god thought he was going to pass out. I'm glad he didn't. Didn't want him to miss the best part, which he gift wrapped to me with his next question.

"H-H-H-H-How do you k-k-k-k-know when the Hide Behind is n-n-n-n-n-nearby?"

I smirked as I continued on with my little horror tale. "It makes a loud rattling noise like this." I then did a small rattling sound with my teeth and tongue, which caused Dipper to gulp.

I then stopped as I formed a nervous look on my face. "Wait, what was that?"

"What was what?"

"I just heard a rattling sound." I then did the rattling noise from the side of my mouth, causing Dipper to freak out and pull his cap over his eyes.

"Wendy, I think the Hide Behind is behind me." He then lifted his cap up only to see that I wasn't there. "Oh no! Wendy? Where did you go?"

Dipper then heard the same rattling noise behind him as he froze stiffer than a plank of wood. "Wh-Wh-What did you do to Wendy M-M-M-M-Mr. H-H-H-Hide Behind."

"Wendy saw me and now she is dead and I devoured all of her succulent, delicious blood. Now I will drink your blood Dipper Pines!" Dipper immediately spun around, only to get greeted with one scary face.

"RAWRGH!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Boy did Dipper sprint out of the shop area and up to his room. For a split second, I thought he was going to burst through the walls like in the cartoons (That would have been funny as hell to see).

Now I suppose you are wondering how yours truly pulled off that amazing prank. Well when you survival training, you train yourself to become stealthy and agile as possible. This works especially well when hunting game…or getting back at your younger siblings for stealing your batch of venison jerky.

While he covered his eyes I simply just hopped over the counter top and landed softly on my toes. It was also child's play sneaking behind him and once I was behind him, it was all too easy.

I just stood there and just laughed my ass off. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh man, that…ha ha ha ha ha…that was priceless! Ha ha ha ha ha…What a whimp." I wiped a tear from my eye, basking in the mo-wait a minute. Didn't something like this happen before….uh oh.

"HEYOO!"

"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE-WOAH! AH *PUCK* ME-*CRASH* *CRACK* *THUD*! Uggggghhhh….."

"Wow, that looked like it hurt. Well I better go check on Dipper to make sure he didn't barricade himself in his Fortress of Pillows. Bye bye Ms. Potty-Mouth-Who-Didn't-Learn-The-First-Time-Not-To-Tease-My-Brother. La la la la la."

Sigh, I should have seen that coming a mile away. For those confused as to what happened, Mabel came up behind me and startled the bejesus out of me (startled, not scared. Big difference). While I jumped and landed, I spun around to see what happened only to lose my balance (apparently she also tied my shoe laces together while I was busy laughing) and crack my head on the countertop. I came to like an hour later, still barely conscious with a pounding headache. It didn't help either when Stan kept poking me with his cane.

"Hey wake up Wendy! I don't pay you to sleep on the job."

"Euugghhh."

"Fine, you can take an extra break. But that time is coming out of your pay check."

"Uhhhhhhh."

"Also would you watch that mouth of yours Wendy? I don't want any of these kids getting brainwashed by your sailor mouth."

Yup, that's how pretty much the past few days have gone while I was working at the Mystery Shack. The only saving grace from all that was when I got done with work and hung out with my friends. However they still continue to bring up my little 'flip out' at laser tag, shocked that I lost my cool that night (I was under a lot of stress okay?!).

Tambry showed me a video clip she recorded of that moment, pinpointing exactly where my sanity snapped and when I went into full on rage mode (with commentary and emoticons to boot). Nate joked about how I would have made the Hulk cower in fear. Robbie even asked what I was doing on Friday because his band needed a screamer for one of their songs.

With friends like them, who needs enemies? Ah but I knew they were only messing with me. Heh, I'd probably make a smart alec remark if I saw myself act like that, more on the lines of 'Wow, the only thing redder right now than her hair is her face' (I can laugh at myself now and again during certain situations. If you can do that, then nobody can bring you down as I always say).

As for Soos, I paid him back with the two pizzas that I owed him (you know for helping with retrieving the cart and other….stuff). Plus I bought him a third for 'intimidating him' to be quiet. But he simply said I didn't have to buy him that third pizza and that it we were cool. Needless to say, I still bought him that pizza. Why? I couldn't leave with myself knowing the fact I was mean to Soos. Like dudes, this is Soos we're talking about. He's perhaps the only one in Gravity Falls you are not allowed to be mean to for whatever reason.

Now, we got all that out of the way, I bet you're anxious for me to get on with the story. So here we go.

It was on a Tuesday afternoon and we were getting ready to wind down and go home for the day (by we, I meant Soos and myself of course). I had cashed out the register and was counting the money for Stan, Mabel was busy restocking the shelves with Mystery Shack knick-knacks and other crap, and Dipper and Soos were busy sweeping and cleaning up (but every so often, I thought I heard a kitten sneeze. Must have been my imagination).

Suddenly bursting into the room, holding a calendar in his right hand with a circle around this upcoming…Wednesday. Why is it…wait…May 23…oh…oh…oh *puck*.

"Good news everybody! You're gonna wanna pay close attention to it."

"Is it something that has to do with calendar and what's circled on it Mr. Pines?" asked Soos, squinting curiously at the calendar in our boss's possession.

"You got it!"

Out of nowhere, Stan tossed Soos a cookie as if he were some kind of pet. I'm both stunned and at the same time, trying my hardest not to laugh (Soos was nibbling it like he was some kind of giant hamster, how could you not laugh at that?).

"Tomorrow's May 23 and you know what that means?"

"Are we getting a pet?" asked Dipper, a confused look on his face.

That actually doesn't sound half-bad. We'd have something else that lives in this shack that spews out more crap than Stan.

"Are we going to celebrate World Turtle Day?" asked Mabel, "I got a sweater for such an occasion!"

You know, I would be a little skeptical about that if it weren't for the fact that Thompson actually celebrates that day. No seriously, he has a legit turtle outfit and he came up with his own song for that day.

"It's Mystery Shack Tourist Day!"

Holy cow! I forgot all about it. How could I forgot perhaps the most meaningless day of the year next to Boxing Day? Thank goodness Stan was here to remind us all that May 23rd is Mystery Shack Tourist Day Whatever. He's a real American hero, a real swell guy. In fact, whenever I play 'There Goes My Hero" on my iPod, I will think of Stanford Pines (before you say anything, yes I was being sarcastic).

"What's Mystery Shack Tourist Day?" asked Dipper.

"I think it's a commercially created holiday crafted by Mr. Pines thoughts to help economically boost the profits of the Mystery Shack through carefully planned out marketing and promotion," replied Soos, "Either that or it's a foreign holiday."

We all just looked at the young man, a stunned look on each of our faces.

"Soos, have you been listening to NPR radio again?"

"Perhaps," replied Soos, "Now if only our state governor could find a way to stimulate the economics of the state without the necessity of raising property or sales taxes."

"Well stop it. It's poisoning your mind."

"You got it Mr. Pines."

Stan then glanced over to me and just smiled. Now why did he-oh no…oh no.

"Wendy…"

No man…no…just no.

"Since you've been around the Mystery Shack a long time…"

Don't do this to me Stan.

"…Why don't you talk about Mystery Shack Tourist Day to Mable and Dipper without taking the joy out of it."

Errgh…well *puck* you too Stan. Thank you for passing onto me this headache.

I just looked at the twins before sighing in annoyance. "Okay, pay attention because I'm only saying this once! Mystery Shack Tourist Day is when the Mystery Shack reveals its summer attractions or at least gives a preview of what is to be expected in the upcoming summer season."

Mabel just 'oohed' and 'ahhed' while Dipper just kept quiet and listened.

"It's like an all-day thing that starts early in the morning and goes late into the night, like around 11ish."

I froze in shock. Early in the morning….late into the night. Oh no…Oh no! No! No! NO! I know what's coming! I know what's *pucking* coming!

"Which means that all Mystery Shack employees have to stay from the very beginning all the way to the very end."

Ah *pucking* hell! I don't want to be in this place all day! Well, the only saving grace of it all would be that at least it's overtime.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Will there be the Annual Post Mystery Shack Tourist Day Employee Slumber Party?" asked Soos.

Huh…what?

"By slumber party, you mean you pass out on the couch after you clean the place up?" asked Stan, "Yeah sure Soos. This time, don't stay up till 2 a.m. like last year."

"Ha ha! You got it Mr. Pines."

Okay, that makes much more sense. Still, there was one thing that was bugging my mind. "Yo, Mr. Pines. Why is the shack open so late? I mean, what are the odds of attracting tourists at 10 at night?"

"Well because the party and the karaoke starts at 8 and-"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Mother *pucker*! Who was doing that god awful noise?!

"Holy Moses! Stop it Mabel! For the love of god, stop!"

Holy Christ dude! That was from Mabel?! Jeez! I think I went deaf in my right ear after that. Apparently karaoke was something the younger girl actually liked doing.

"I love karaoke! I love karaoke! I love karaoke!" beamed Mabel.

Case in point.

"Can I stay up late and sing? Can I Grunkle Stan? Huh? Huh? Huh? Pretty please!"

"Yeah sure, fine kid," replied Stan, holding his right ear with his hand; "Only if you promise never to do that high pitched shriek ever again."

Yes, please for the love that is all holy. Never do that again. I mean, I think we all went partial deaf. I mean Soos looks more spaced out than usual. Wait…that's not good.

"Soos, are you okay dude?"

No response.

"Uh Soos, are you okay dude?"

"Dude, I think I went deaf."

"I-" I didn't even bother to finish that sentence. Both myself and Mr. Pines got a 'You-Gotta-Be-Kidding-Me' look on our faces. So I just looked at our boss.

"Mr. Pines, I think Soos just went deaf again."

"Oh no. Let me check to see if he's okay." Stan then turned to the young man. "Soos, I'm legally adopting you now and going to entrust you with the Shack when I retire."

Out of nowhere, the biggest, happiest grin appeared on Soos' face.

"Really?! Oh man, I can't believe it! My dream came true! I'm gonna change my name to Stan Jr., get my own Mr. Mystery suit, wear a matching fez. We'll be the perfect father-son pair."

"Not on your life Soos," replied the old man, "That was to see if you could hear me."

"Oh ok." I then heard Soos mutter under his breath, "One day Soos, one day."

I would normally feel bad in this situation but the yearning to just go home was too great. I simply yawned before heading over to the time clock to punch out. "Well I guess I'll be going home. Later dudes."

"Bye Wendawg."

"Bye Wendy!"

"Um, bye Wendy."

"Remember before 8:00 a.m. or else!"

After everybody's good bye (and mental cursing at both Stan and Dipper), I hopped on my bicycle and pedals on home. When I got on, I saw that I had a missed text from Tambry.

" _You outta work yet_?"

I texted back. " _Yeah, just got out. Sorry missed ur text Tambry."_

I then get a text back.

" _We're gonna head over 2 minigolf. U want in_?"

I sighed to myself. Mini-golf with the gang did sound like a lot of fun. Especially when Lee gets Thompson to try to drink the pond water as a dare (A few times he has and a few times I shoved Lee into the pond water on "accident" he he). " _I-_ " I then saw a squirrel run by me. It then turned away before looking back at me. I don't know why or how but the squirrel had Stan's head on it.

"If you're late tomorrow, you're fired!" Out of nowhere, a hawk swooped down and got the squirrel as it flew off, with Stan's voice screaming in the distance.

I just rubbed my eyes, trying to make sense on what just happened. I simply chalked it up to fatigue. So I finished up my text. " _-can't. Gotta be in work early tomorrow._ "

I get a reply back. " _Bummer man. Maybe next time."_

I sighed before groaning in frustration. Well on the plus side, I was acting responsible. Hooray for morale victories and that other motivational bullshit (by the way, I was being sarcastic.) I then pocketed my phone before pedaling on home on my bike.

It took some time as I arrived at home, skidding to a stop on my bike. I walked it up to the front door, chaining it up to a small pole that was outside. After snapping up the lock, I got out my key, opened up, and then went inside.

Now for those who are not familiar with my living situation, I'll go over it quickly. I live at home with my dad, Manly Dan, and my three younger brothers, Alex, Jason, and Thurman. My dad said our mom left us when I was 12 (that's as far as I'll go in that subject for now) so he often turns to me to help run the house when he's on the job. When he's home, he does the cooking and attempts to do the cleaning (by attempt to clean, I mean he cleans the house but keeps bumping into stuff and makes a bigger mess). But when he's not home, that responsibility falls on me. Unfortunately, my younger brothers make it more of a living hell than anything else.

When I pulled into the driveway, I didn't see my dad's truck. That probably meant he was working late on the job so I had the responsibility of making dinner. But no sooner had I opened the door and taken a step inside, I get blasted with "Hey, when's dinner?" "Where's the food?" and "I want to order out." I gritted my teeth, feeling my anger rise up a bit. "Nice to see you dorks as well."

Alex just looked at me from the living room. "Hey Wendy, when's dinner. I'm starving over here."

"Hold on a second. For christsake, I just walked in. Sheesh!" I go to the kitchen and opened up the fridge door. I then saw a platter with some deer meat steaks with a note on them.

" _Pulled these out last night and let them thaw on the fridge. Hope they're good to cook. Will be working late. Love Dad. P.S. If you're cooking Wendy, tell the boys to clean."_

I just smiled before grabbing the plate of thawed meat, along with some string beans and potatoes. I fired up the stove top, tied my hair back into a large ponytail, and began to cook away.

After some time, I finished cooking dinner as I let out a small sigh. Cooked deer steak with roasted potatoes and roasted string beans laced with diced garlic. I was ready to just dig in, the smell was so good. So I quickly called out to my brothers, "Hey! Dinner is ready you guys."

"In a minute, we're playing a game," replied Thurman from the living room.

I just gritted my teeth, furrowing my brow. No you're not," I barked, "Pause the game and set the table so we can eat!"

"Whatever," replied Jason, "We're kinda busy at the moment so we can't set the table. Maybe later."

My blood began to boil and my temper began to rise. Now normally, I would go over and drag all three to the table (believe me when I tell you, it wouldn't have been the first time I had to do that). But I had to get to bed early so I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. *Puck*'em. If they want to eat cold food, they can eat cold food. I'm gonna enjoy my hot-cooked dinner. So I simply just made my own plate and ate alone.

Once I was done, I got up and cleaned my own plate. I heard the idiot trio still playing video games as I sighed in frustration. I was tempted to leave my brothers high and dry, but I couldn't (hey, they're still family regardless). So I made four plates of food (one for each of them, plus for dad when he comes home) before putting the leftovers away.

After I closed the fridge, I saw that the sink still had some dirty dishes in it. "Hey can you guys take care of the dishes? I need to head to bed early."

"But we're in the middle of a game," replied Alex, "Can't-"

"Then pause the game then idiot!" I snapped, "I cooked dinner so you guys could at least wash the dishes." I then crossed my arms. "Or do you want dad to come home and see you guys playing video games with a sink full of dirty dishes." Boom, trump. Before I knew it, the game was paused and the dishes were clean.

"Thanks for dinner."

"You're the best Wendy."

"I love your cooking."

I smirked. When in doubt, go to dad.

I then made my way to my room, closing the door behind me and locking up. I go over to my night stand and turn on the light before yawning. The clock read 8:49 p.m. as I rubbed my right eye. Wow. Never thought I'd go to bed before 9 o'clock during the summer. I changed out of my jeans into pajama shorts before takeoff my shirt and bra (ah, sweet sweet liberation) and throwing on my Zeppelin sleeveless shirt. I set my alarm before letting out one loud yawn. Yeesh…I was really…tired. I then climbed under my covers and…*yawn*…turned off my lights…and…zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

ZeroFox: *yawns* Oh man…a nap sounds good right about now. Don't worry folks, part 2 will be up by week's end. *yawns* Until next….*yawns*…time….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


	5. Tourist Trapped 2

ZeroFox: *is busy sleeping as then he starts to stir. Wakes up after a few minutes* Ugh…still…so *yawn* tired. *sees a nearby circle orange cushion before crawling over to it before poking at it.* Soft…*yawn* Soft…*falls sleep on top of it. Turns over onto his side as the disclaimer is taped to his back.

Disclaimer: THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFIT FANFIC. GRAVITY FALLS AND ITS CHARACTERS BELONG TO ALEX HIRSCH AND DISNEY. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE!

* * *

"Mommy! Mommy!"

"What is it Gwendolyn dear?"

"Can I have this hat? Pwetty pwease?"

"Why do you want that hat?"

"Because that cute boy had dat hat daddy and if I get dat hat, maybe I'll see him again soon."

"WHAT?! You don't need no hat to impress no boy! You're a Corduroy and-"

"Oh calm down Daniel *giggle*. She's just a young girl. Just let her have some fun."

"Grr…fine. But he hurts her, he will rue the day he crossed paths with Daniel John Corduroy!"

"You're such a good father. *smooch*"

"So can I get the hat?"

"Yes you can Gwendolyn."

"Yay! Thanks mommy! Thanks daddy!"

* * *

*Insert the Gravity Falls Intro Theme*

* * *

I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off. I looked over to see what time it was. 5:33 a.m. I groaned before slamming my hand on the snooze button. Ugh, this is torture of the worse degree. I just sit up in my bed, looking around to see darkness both in my room and outside with little sun creeping in. Whoever gets up at this ungodly hour, you sir or madam get a tip of my hat. That and you also need to seek help immediately. A yawn escaped my mouth as I just scratched my chest through my sleeveless shirt. Well, time to head to work I guess.

I get out of bed before letting out another loud yawn, scratching my lower back before wiggling my finger in my ear to scratch it and flinging whatever gunk was on my fingers to the side (yup, the definition of sexy right there). As I put my feet on the floor, my eyes went bug eyed wide. Holy hell, cold floor! Cold floor! Now I'm fully…err...65% awake.

I just go over and turn my light on before getting changed into my usual attire (aka, the flannel shirt, jeans, my trusty boots, and yes a bra for you curious perverts). Slapped on some deodorant, grabbed my wallet, phone, and house key before pocketing all three, and then headed out my room.

I tipped toed around the house, not wanting to wake up the rest of my family before making my way to the front door. I quickly open and close the door, sliding out into the cold, dark Gravity Falls morning (man, all that wilderness training really did pay off. I'm like the flannel ninja over…*ahem* sorry for going off like that). I causally walked over to my bike before strapping on my helmet (safety first or whatever) and then pedaling off.

While I was pedaling, my mind just seemed to wander. First it was thinking about how much of a hellish nightmare today was going to be. Then it focused on what to do in case Dipper began to annoy me (hint, it involved rope and duct tape). But then it drifted over the dream I just had a little while ago. I mean, I never had that dream before so why now? Why was I in the Mystery Shack with my parents? Who was this boy I was referencing? Ugh, so many questions. Besides it's too early to think about deep stuff like that anyways.

My gurgling stomach then snapped me back to reality as I started to get hungry. I looked at my watch. 6:12 a.m. The sun was slowly getting into the sky as I decided to make a pit stop for breakfast. Normally most places are still closed but I know one place that always opened early. I then made a bee line to Greasy's Diner. I mean, a growing girl has to eat right and breakfast is the most important meal of the day or something like that.

It doesn't take me long to get there (never underestimate a hungry Corduroy) as I see the 'Closed' sign get flipped to 'Open' by an older woman with bee-hived styled gray hair and one eye closed. She then looked at me, a big smile on her face.

"Oh hey Wendy. You're up early. What's the occasion?"

"Ah Stan wants me at the Shack like super early," I replied back, parking my bike and taking off my helmet, "it's 'Tourist Day' or whatever at the Mystery Shack and he wants me to stay all day and work."

"Well I guess you want a nice big breakfast for that big boost of energy."

I just grinned. "Yup, you read me like a book Susan."

Lazy Susan just opened up the door for me. "Well come on in, I'll cook you up your 'LumberJill' breakfast special."

Immediately my mouth began to water as soon as she said 'LumberJill.' It's basically an egg omelet with cheese with cooked home fries, corn beef hash, 3 sausages, 2 pieces of toast, and 3-pancake stack with maple syrup (the good kind, not the crud you get at the supermarket), all with Lazy Susan's special coffee mix. My stomach was like growling like crazy as I sat down at the diner countertop. I had to wipe away the drool on my lips and on the corner of my mouth (man, I was really hungry).

Before my first cup of coffee was poured, I heard an engine motor outside the dinner. I just figured it was some trucker coming in for a quick bite before heading off on the road or even a tourist passing by. Nope. Nope.

"Excuse me, but um, are you open?"

Oh come on man! Not this early!

Walking into Greasy's Diner was none other than Dipper (ugh, just…just ugh!).

"Why sure little fella," replied Lazy Susan, glancing over to me.

No, don't.

"In fact little fella…"

Come on Susan, it's 6:33 a.m. I don't want to deal with this crap just yet.

"…you can pop a seat right next to Wendy."

I just facepalm myself, dragging my hand over my now sour-looking face. Dipper just looked over to me before gulping.

"I'll just sit at the other end, if you don't mind."

Good, he got the hint.

"Oh pish posh there. Come on, pop a squat and I'll get ya some breakfast."

Dipper just hopped up onto the stool. He struggled to get on for some odd reason (*cough* Wimp! *cough*) before sitting up. Lazy Susan slid a menu in front of him so he could order breakfast.

"Be right back."

She then disappeared into the back with the cooks as we were left alone. Dipper just gulped nervously while I had an annoyed look on my face.

"So…come here-"

"Finish the sentence and I will punch you in your cheek."

Cue an awkward moment of silence between us, only for the sounds of the kitchen to be heard in the diner. After a few seconds, I just see him looking over at the menu.

"Um, so…uh…what's good on the menu?" he asked, as if trying to start a conversation.

"Stuff," I gruffly replied, "Ask her when she gets back, not me."

Another awkward moment of silence between us.

"Eh…ready for the big day today?"

"If by big day, you mean work over 12 hours, go home late, then have to come back early the next day then sure."

"So, uh…um…erh…"

Patience about to be worn out in 3…2…

"Hey, I got some fresh brewed coffee. Who wants some?" said Lazy Susan, coming in two coffee cups and a coffee pot to boot.

Crisis averted. All my anger to Dipper vanished as I became focused on the brown elixir of life known as coffee. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw dork had that same focused look on his face. Why he had that look, I didn't bother to ask nor did I want to care.

"Here you go you two. A batch of my special Lazy Susan coffee." Lazy Susan then poured us a cup each. "Drink up, you'll be wide awake and full of energy."

I opened up three bags of sugar and put cream in my coffee, mixing everything around with a spoon. I took one big gulp, placing down the cup afterwards before sighing loudly. "That tasted delicious."

I looked over to see Dipper take a big swig of coffee, holding the coffee cup with two hands. He then placed the cup down, letting out a small sigh.

"That hit the spot."

Ergh, damn it. That was *pucking* adorable but don't tell anybody!

"So little guy, what would you like?"

Lazy Susan could have asked him some tough trivia question because Dipper entered a state of confusion and panic with that simple question.

"I…uh…um…um…"

It was early in the day but I decided to burn my 'One Good Deed to Dipper' for the entire day.

"Dude, just order some eggs and bacon already or even pancakes. Problem solved."

"I…I…I…Uh….Uh…Umm…."

Okay, this is just sad. He's having a nervous breakdown on what to order for breakfast. If this keeps up, he'll ask me-

"Hey Wendy, what do you think I should get?"

…What the *puck*. I took another swig of coffee before looking at him, a calm yet annoyed look was on my face. "Dorker-"

"Dipper."

"Whatever. How old are you?"

"I uh, I'm uh…well…you see…in a couple of months, I-"

"Never mind. Look mommy and daddy are in California and are not here to baby you. Now just pick something off the *pucking* menu already? It's breakfast so just pick something like eggs, pancakes, or even a bowl of cereal. Now just do it and leave me alone so I can enjoy my coffee."

So you know that look a dog gives you when it's scared and shaking out of fear? That's the same look Dipper gave me and I barely raised my voice at him, let alone give him an angry scowl (it's taking a lot of patience to do so but it's too early in the morning).

"Oh be nice to the little guy Wendy, it's still early," said Lazy Susan before looking at Dipper, "Tell you what, let me get you something from the back that you'll enjoy."

The waitress went into the back as I just took another swig of coffee. In the back of my mind, I told myself to be vigilant since a Mabel Sneak Attack could occur (I even looked over my shoulder a few times). So far nothing

A few minutes passed as Lazy Susan came back with a savory breakfast bounty that was known as the 'LumberJill.' Oh man, did my mouth water. The heavenly scent of the cooked sausage, the home fries with onions and minced garlic, oh the corn beef hash.

"Thanks Susan! You're the best!"

I immediately grabbed my knife and fork before chowing down. God, it tasted so good. I looked over as I see Lazy Susan place a 5-pancake stake in front of Dipper.

"And here you are. Chocolate Chip Pancakes. Bon appetite."

"Thank you," thanked Dipper, a smile on his face. He then began to spread butter on the top pancake before reaching to grab the small syrup container. He poured a heaping full of syrup on top (I can't make the comment of 'You want some pancakes with your syrup' because….eh heh heh…I do the same) before cutting a piece and placing it in his mouth. A few chews and a swallow as Dipper let out another sigh. "That tastes really good."

While he was eating his breakfast, I turned to the side while covering my mouth and nose with my hand to keep my composure (for some odd reason, my nose was bleeding as well). Damn it! Why did that look adorable? It's probably due to me still being tired and the coffee not fully kicking in. Yeah, that's it. That's the only explanation I could think off.

"Hey Wendy, I cleared my throat before turning back to finish eating my breakfast.

After some time, I finished before letting out a loud belch and patted my stomach. "Oh wow, sorry about that Susan," I apologized, "But that hit the spot. Another 10 outta 10 in my book."

"Thank you Wendy, glad you liked it," replied Lazy Susan.

Dipper then finished his last bite, sighing contently. "That was good too."

DAMN IT, WHY IS THAT SO ADORABLE WHEN HE DOES THAT?! I took another long swig of coffee, just chugging the entire thing down. Big mistake. The next thing I know, I hear a loud gurgling from my stomach. "Oh shit." Drinking coffee is okay. Chugging coffee is not. I immediately sprinted to the bathroom, holding up in there for the next 10 minutes.

After I came out, I saw Lazy Susan was cleaning up the countertop where we were sitting. Yet something was missing….something was miss-wait a second…where did Dipper go?

"Hey Susan, where did that kid go?"

"Oh he had to go back home for something or another," replied the waitress.

I casually shrugged my shoulders. "Whatever." I then walked up to the register, getting out my wallet. "So, how much for the breakfast?"

"Oh, it's been taken care off. That Dipper fellow paid for both your breakfasts. I think he likes you."

Ever had that feeling where time just stopped around you, that your psyche was shattered like glass, and everything you knew was a lie. Okay, it wasn't like that but it was pretty damn close. So I'd like to summarize how I was feeling at that specific moment with the following line:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I just held my head, panting heavily as I tried to get what Lazy Susan said out of my mind. No! No! NO! A thousand, no, a million times no! Gah! Why would anybody think that?! ERGH! What was that kid's motive? Why did he pay for my breakfast? Is he trying to hold something against me? Does he want me in his debt? Did-*puck*! During my mental debate with myself, I looked at the time to see it was 20 minutes till 8.

"Crap! Gotta go Susan! I'm gonna be late!"

I sprinted out of Greasy's Diner, hopped on my bike, and pedaled as hard and fast as I could away. Was I driven by fear? Hell no. Was I driven by the fact I didn't want Stan on my ass? Hell yes! While the road I was on turned from concrete to dirt, I couldn't help but be distracted. In the back of my mind, I was still curious about why Dipper paid for me. I mean, why would he? He didn't owe me anything. Was he trying to flirt with me (I nearly threw up in my mouth on that one)? Seriously, that's gonna like bug me for the entire day more so than the kid himself.

I then skid to a halt as I arrived at the Mystery Shack. I looked at my watch. 7:50 a.m. I quickly hooked my bike up before sprinting to the front door. I go to open the door as I turned the handle. It was locked….wait WHAT?! I desperately struggled to open the door, pulling on it to open up (seriously, why did I think that would work?!). I then decided to resort to the only other solution other than breaking down the door or breaking a window. I banged on the door as hard as I could.

"HEY! STAN! OPEN UP! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

Still no response as I looked at my watch. It went from 7:54 a.m. to 7:55 a.m. I then began to bang on the door louder.

"COME ON MAN! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!"

I then hear the door latch and the door open to reveal a sleepy Mabel.

"Uh…*yawn*…are you Santa Claus?"

I don't even bother to answer as I sprint past her to the time clock. I grabbed my time card, sliding it in as I punch in. 7:58 baby! I am early! I start to do a victory dance, doing a little whoop-whoop.

"I am early baby! Go Wendy! Go Wendy!"

Mabel just rubbed her left eye, a confused look on her face. She then just raised her hands up weakly, trying to celebrate.

"All right…way to *yawn* go. It's your birthday…*yawn* It's your birthday."

I proudly strut to the cash register, grinning the entire time. It's 8:00 a.m. and I'm at my post, on time and Stan can't say anything. Ha! Nothing can bring me down! Nothing can-

"Wow, I'm actually surprised you're here on time. I guess miracles can happen."

I look over to see Stan standing there, holding a coffee mug in one hand while wearing his muscle shirt, boxers, old man slippers, and his fez. The grin that was on my face was replaced by a look of shock.

"Grunkle Stan…*yawn*…what's for breakfast?" asked Mabel.

"Whatever you can find in the fridge and cupboard," replied Stan.

"Awesome."

Mabel then trudged past the both of us as she disappeared into the back. Wow, I guess even Ms. Energy needs a jumpstart. Stan then looked back at me.

"Soos should be back with some gas for the Mystery Cart because somebody left it on 'E' the last time she used it."

I was confused. Last time I-wait a minute. "Dude! I left the tank at like half full when I used it the other day."

"Well I found it empty this morning."

A stern glare was sent my way. I was gonna get upset but it was hard to take a grown man serious when he's in his boxers and fez.

"But since you got here this morning, I'm gonna let you off with a warning. If I catch the cart empty with gas again, it's coming out of your paycheck."

I growled angrily before looking down to the side. "Whatever man."

"Good. Now if you excuse me, I need to get changed before the first wave of customers gets here."

No sooner had Stan had said that, we all heard a bunch of cars pull up to the parking lot…err…parking 'area' of the Mystery Shack.

"HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES! CUSTOMERS! WHERE'S MY SUIT?! WHERE'S MY FEZ…Oh wait, I'm wearing it."

Stan immediately looked at me. "All right Wendy, stall them until I'm ready."

I just casually strolled over to the front door, locking it up before putting up a 'Be Back in 10' Sign in the window. "Problem solved."

Stan shrugged his shoulders. "Meh, that works." He then quickly dashed out of the area to go put on his Mr. Mystery suit on.

As he ran out of the area, Dipper came into the store area as he yawned. "Huh, what's going on? Why are there people outside?"

"Because we're about to open shop Dorker," I replied back, heading over to the register, "Now just stay out of my way or…or…" Suddenly it hit me. The reason he paid me for my breakfast was to cover up the fact he took the cart. That son of a bitch!

I immediately veered away from the register and towards Dipper. Before he could say anything, I grabbed him by the shirt and got in his face. "Listen! Already this day got off to a shitty start because you got me in trouble with your Grunkle Stan."

"What are you talking about?" asked a confused yet nervous Dipper.

"I know you took the Mystery Cart this morning and he thinks I did and left it on empty."

His eyes snapped wide as if he had a moment of realization. "Oh man, I'm sorry Wendy. I just-"

"It's too late for an apology," I snapped, interrupting the now shaking boy, "Now I want you to stay out of my way for the rest of the day. If you do that, I won't throw you in the lake. Deal?"

"Deal."

I just let go of Dipper's shirt before walking over to the register countertop. No sooner had I done that, Stan came back in his Mr. Mystery suit, 8-Ball cane and eyepatch included.

"Okay. Now I'm ready. Dipper, open up the door and let the money...I mean customers in."

"Could you let me in too dudes?"

"HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES! SOOS GET IN HERE NOW! WE GOT CUSTOMERS!"

Well I'm not gonna bore all of you with every single detail of what happened. Pretty much, it was like wave after wave of tourists and customers that came by to the Mystery Shack. I actually saw cars out there with license plates from states like Missouri, Ohio, Iowa, Texas, Georgia, and even way out there like Connecticut, Rhode Island, and even a car from Maine.

Stan had Dipper work the front entrance, receiving money for tickets to get in. Normally people would come in for free but today was a 'special' day. So a 'special fee' was introduced. Since I had to work the register, Soos was the handyman, Stan was the ringleader, and Mabel was MIA (to be honest, I didn't see her at all since when I first came in. Eh, probably chasing after some more boys in town), that left Dipper to work the makeshift ticket table outside. Meh, better him than me.

So anyways, they would buy a ticket from Dipper, then get lead around the shack by Stan (all the while going 'oohs,' 'aahs,' 'What's that thing?', and 'Wow, it sure is weird in the northwest'), they buy an overpriced souvenir, and then they come to me. I had to wear a fake smile on my face and after ever transaction, I used that cliché line of, "Thank you for coming to the Mystery Shack. Have a nice and mysterious day." Not gonna lie, a part of me died every time I said that line.

I won't deny it, there were a few cute guys in the crowd. Occasionally snuck a peek from my magazine but that was as far as I would go. To be quite frank, I'm not the kind of girl who will do: A. A long distance relationship or B. A summer romance. Oh sure, it did boost the ego to get checked out a few times. But then it got annoying with the stupid lines of 'Hey babe, wanna grab a bite to eat?' or 'Hey beautiful, are you an angel because you look heavenly,' or 'Oh, a redhead. I would if you're fiery as your hair color.' I just yawned and motioned to my bowie knife thus shutting up any other guy who tried to hit on me.

It worked with most of them except this one asshole from Massachusetts (yup, this was my first experience with the legendary 'Masshole'). He tried sweet-talking me but I kept ignoring him and rung up a few customers. Then he got even closer as I motioned to my bowie knife. Again, he didn't get the hint as he pulled a pen from my shirt and wrote down his phone number and e-mail address. That was the last straw. So, I casually pulled my bowie knife out and stabbed the paper right on the countertop. That guy just turned white and ran out of the shack while I pulled my knife out. Stan saw the whole thing as he gave me a disapproved look.

"You know that mark in the countertop is coming out of your."

"Meh."

After some time had passed, it was 11:30 a.m. as Stan decided to shut down the shack for lunch.

"Hey, I need somebody to take these signs and post them up for the second shift of customers."

Let me rephrase that, Stan decided to shut down the shack so he could get us to do more work. Lunch was optional.

"I got a bunch of signs that I need put up in the spooky part of the woods."

Spooky part of the woods? Oh brother.

"Who is gonna do it?"

"Not it," perked up Dipper.

"Uh also, not it," perked up Soos, who was busy installing a new lightbulb.

"Wasn't asking you Soos."

"I figured so much and I'm okay with that."

Ah shit. With Mabel still MIA, by process of elimination, the next person Stan will try to ask to do that dumb task would be...

"Hey Wendy."

Yup. Me.

"You're familiar with these woods. I need you put up these signs for me."

Called it. Luckily I hatched this complicated extravagant plan that would help me get out of this situation.

"I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh..." (I added some half-assed attempts to reach for the signs).

Stan just facepalmed himself as he gave everybody a scowl. "I'd fire you all if I could." He then looked at Dipper. "Guess what, you're picked."

"Aw what?!" whined Dipper, "That's not fair Grunkle Stan."

"Yeah well life is unfair kid. Get used to it."

I almost felt bad for Dipper. Key word…. _almost_. Heh, better him than me.

"But every time I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched by something or someone."

Again with the paranoia bullshit.

"Ugh, stop that paranoia crap. It's ruining your mind."

Thank you Stan. For once that's something we can both agree on.

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town."

No Dorker, that's your imagination.

"Just today, I got a bunch of mosquito bites that spelt out 'BEWARE'."

I saw Dipper hold up his arm as I had to rub my eyes in disbelief. That actually made me do a double take for two reasons. One was the fact that that an insect has the ability to spell out words via bites. The other reason was the fact that Dipper was a giant mosquito target. All the more reason to avoid him whatsoever.

Stan took a look at Dipper's arm. "Dipper, that says 'BEWARB'."

I fell off my stool in shock from the sheer terribleness of whatever bad joke that was.

The older man looked at his grandnephew. "Look, kid. The whole "monsters in the forest" thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merchandise to gullible schmuks like that guy over there."

We then all saw fat, sweaty man laughing like an idiot while looking at a Stan-bobblehead while bobbling his head. Yeah, we don't exactly attract the brightest of the bunch here in the Mystery Shack but a buck is a buck.

Dipper was then handed the signs along with a sandwich bag of nails and a hammer.

"Okay now start hammering away before the second shift gets ready."

The kid just sighed as he walked towards the exit of the door. I couldn't help but needle him. "Hey better watch yourself out there, otherwise the Hide Behind will get you."

"He couldn't be worse than the cashier monster that wears flannel," he replied back before leaving the shack.

What kind of monster wears flan…OH HE'S SO DEAD THE NEXT TIME I SEE HIM!

"BWAH HA HA HA HA HA! ZING!" laughed Stan, "Kid got you good that time Wendy."

My face turned red. I was torn between wanting to pound Dorker's face in and (don't you dare look into this) wanting to give him props for that burn. Ergh…I'll allow him to get in his one dig at me for the day. It was a good one, something that I would've probably said as well.

"Now since you've decided you can't go out into the woods, how about you restock the shelves."

Ugh…maybe I should have gone into the woods with Dorker. Would have been more thrilling to listen to him prattle about what he thinks is unusual and…

"Wendy, why is your nose bleeding?"

I…HUH?

"Sheesh. If your allergies are that bad, take some Benadryl."

I immediately covered my nose with a tissue and held it up in the air. "I…yeah, allergies. Sorry about that Mr. Pines. I'll take care of it."

"Make sure you don't get any blood on the merchandise either. That's a lawsuit waiting to happen."

I just grumbled before going over to one of the shelves to restock some of the merchandise that was on there. All the while, grumbling to myself as to why that nosebleed happened and other things. Mostly it was just frustration towards my boss.

"Grr…lousy, cheapskate, money grubbing…"

"I can hear you."

Ugh….gotta learn to grumble mentally instead of out in the open like that.

Well, after some time had passed, Dipper came back to the shack. It was just me in the area as Soos was busy fixing some things in back and Stan was busy coming up with new attractions in the workshop. I was going to let him have it for his snide remark earlier but then something in his possession caught my attention.

"Hey Dorker, where did you get that giant book?"

For some odd reason, Dipper had this uneasy look on his face. "I…uh…found it. Probably a tourist lost it or something. I'm gonna hold onto it."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Figures you'd find a book in the woods Dorker."

"HIYOO!"

"ACK! *PUCK!* *CRASH* Ughhhhh…"

"Hiya folks, didya miss me?"

"Ugh…Hate…you…Hate you both…so much…"

Yup, Ms. Energy made her reappearance back at the Shack in her usual manner, aka surprising the shit out of me and causing me to fall. This time, she made me fall off my chair and onto the floor.

Dipper just looked at his sister. "Where the heck have you been?"

"Oh nowhere," she replied, a mischievous smile on her face, "Just in town, hanging around…with my new boyfriend."

"You're new WHAT?!" both Dipper and I cried out. I mean, Mabel has been here for only a few days. How in the hell did she get a boyfriend that quickly.

"He's right outside right now, I'll go grab him." With that, Mabel skipped happily outside as Dipper just had an uneasy look on his face.

He then buried his face into his journal before walking away into the back. I was left alone again as all I could do was try to figure out what the hell just happened. I mean, Mabel just got here. How did she get a boyfriend so quick when I…wait a minute! Am I getting jealous of Mabel? Oh my god, I think I'm going down that road that I would need some serious therapy for-

"Hey, I'm back with my boyfriend."

I just saw Mabel re-enter the Shack with a taller boy wearing a black hoodie with ripped shoulders (like tears on them), a twig on his head, black jeans with holes on the knees, and…some red stuff on his face (could be jam or something…I hope). Yeesh, he looked like if Robbie worked out. Definitely not my type.

"Wendy, this is Norman."

"Sup?"

I just looked at Norman curiously. "Nice to meet you dude."

"Err…likewise."

Okay, call me paranoid but I don't ever think I've seen Norman around. Just who is he? Is he-Oh my god, I'm acting like Dorker!

"No! No! No! NO!" I didn't realize it till a few seconds afterwards I was hitting myself on the head with my hands in order to 'knock some sense into me' (Hey, you'd do the same if you realized you were acting like the one person who annoyed the crap out of you).

"Is that normal for her to do?"

"Meh, I guess. Come on, I'll introduce you to my brother and my Grunkle Stan."

The couple left to go to the back area as I just sat at the cash register by myself. I just took a few calm breaths before regaining my composure. I am calm, I am calm, I am calm, I am-

"Excuse me, are you guys open?"

I turned around to see a family of four, obviously tourists, standing at the entrance.

"The door was wide open and we would want to get a tour of this place," spoke the husband.

I immediately formed a cheesy smile on my face. "Be with you in one minute." I then cocked my head to the back, placing my right hand near my mouth. "Hey Mr. Mystery, we got customers!"

"So…stall them, I'm busy!" was the hollered response.

I mentally began to plot Stan's payback for putting me on the spot like that, that sonuvabi-

"Is everything all right?" asked the wife.

I just flash them a big grin. "Mr. Mystery is busy trying to solve some mysteries. I'm his assistant, Wondering…Wendy." (before anybody asks, yup. I died a little inside). I then decided to show the family around the Mystery Shack, completely bullshitting them as I went. Hey, if Stan could do it how hard could it be? While I was doing that, I saw Norman and Mabel skip outside…err, mostly Mabel did the skipping. Norman, he, uh, he just kinda sauntered out the door. Meh, whatever.

After showing them around the exhibits (and somewhat appreciating what Stan did around here), I lead the family over to the cash register. During that time, we randomly heard somebody (mostly likely Dorker) scream out 'Zombie!' as the two kids got a little worried.

"Oh don't worry, that's just Dippity Dorker," I said to them, "He's the Mystery Shack worrywart, always believing he's seen something. If you ignore him, he'll go away."

The husband and wife couple just giggled, buying into that little made-up character I did. Wow, Stan was right. These people are gullible schmuks. They'll believe anything. They then bought a few T-Shirts and some knick-knacks as I rung them up and cashed them out. "Thank you for visiting the Mystery Shack," I said as they were leaving; "and remember, life is full of mysteries so keep on…doing stuff to solve them and what not."

After a few minutes, they drove off as I let out a sigh of relief. Never. Again. I then looked outside to then see that Mabel and Norman had disappeared yet again. Eh, probably went to go pick flowers or something. Still, there was something off about Norman that I couldn't put my finger on. Was it the clothes, the emo brooding that would make Robbie look like he was a cheerful dude, the random jam on his face? What was it?

Before I could say anything, I saw Dipper run past me with his newly found journal in his possession.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"SpyingonNormanbecausehesazombieandhelleatMabelsbrainbye."

I blinked my eyes, trying to comprehend what was just said. Was that even English? Before I could try to come up with a response, I hear a motor rev up and then a car peel out. "Ah damn it! He took the Mystery Cart again! Ugh, I better grab him back or Stan will-"

"Or Stan will what?"

I yelped, jumping into the air before spinning around to see Stan behind me.

"Seriously! What is with you guys and sneaking up on me?!"

"What are you talking about?" asked Stan.

I didn't even bother to answer him, nor did I tell him about Mabel and Dipper. It wasn't just because I felt like he wouldn't have believed me. It was more so due to the fact that as soon as I opened my mouth, we heard the sound of an engine hiss. All three of us (Soos popped in randomly into the room just now) as we saw two large tour buses. Stan had the biggest grin on his face, as if he just received the biggest gift he'd ever gotten.

"Look alive fellas! We got customers galore!"

"Oh boy! Time to do my thing," beamed Soos, fixing his baseball cap.

You can guess how I reacted to that. "Ugh….*puck* me."

A couple hours and a bunch of tourists later, I was just ready to throw in the towel. I had the misfortune to look at the clock. 4:12 p.m. Ugh…four hours of this crap. Just then Dipper came back, a defeated look on his face.

"Why the long face there Dorker?" I asked.

"I just spent like over 2 hours of watching my sister and Norman, making sure that zombie didn't try to pull a fast one on her," he replied, "Maybe I'm just overreacting."

"You don't say," I muttered under my breath while reading a magazine.

Just then Mabel came skipping in, an excited look on her face. "EEEEEEE-"

"No!" I immediately cut her off, "None of that! No!"

Mabel just tiled her head in confusion. "Aroo?"

"Just…Just trust her on that one Mabel," replied Dipper.

Wow, this is a first. Dorker agreeing with me. Mabel then just shrugged her shoulders before looking at us both.

"Guess what you guys, come on guess."

"I have no idea, I could care less but you're gonna tell me anyways," I replied in a semi-annoyed tone.

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha," laughed Mabel, "But seriously, guess."

"Does it involve Norman?" asked Dipper, only to get a rapid head nod in response, "Does it involve you?" Insert another rapid head nod. "Does it involve something later on since he's not with you now?" Again, another rapid head nod. "He's…He's not gonna marry you…is he?"

"Pshaw! Nah bro-bro. That's assuming he can last the week."

I admire an optimist.

"But in all seriousness, Norman has something to tell me later at 5."

Dipper couldn't hold it in any longer.

"No, Mabel, listen! I'm trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!" He then pulled out that book from his vest coat pocket. "I'll show you what he really is."

Now normal girls would get pissed off or annoyed with their brothers for saying they can't date a boy for whatever reasons. Mabel on the other hand…

"You think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!"

Not so much. Also vampire? Really? I mean, really?! Ugh, she probably watched those stupid Twilight films.

"Guess again, Mabel," replied Dipper, stopping at a certain page in his journal, "SHA-BAM!" Much to his chagrin, on the page looked like a garden gnome….huh?

Both Mabel and I just winced in disgust as Dipper saw he was on the wrong page.

"Whoops, eh heh heh, my bad." He then flipped it to another page, revealing what appeared to be a zombie, or 'the Undead' on it. "Sha-bam!

"What the? You think Norman is a zombie?" Mabel then furrowed her brow at her brother. "That's not funny, Dipper."

Actually it was hilarious, heh heh.

"I'm not joking Mabel!" replied an exasperated Dipper, "I've watched him this entire time and from what this journal says, everything adds up."

I just facepalmed myself. Wow Dorker, are you that dumb? Dude, that's the worst thing you could have admit to any girl, let alone your sister.

"You were spying on me?!"

"I'm just looking out for you. Look, Norman is a zombie. It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. Also he never blinks! Have you noticed that?"

Mabel just gave Dipper a glare that would send a cougar cowering. "One, he's limping because he had a bad fall early. Two, that was jam from breakfast he had this morning. I cleaned it off for him. Three, Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking!"

Wow, siblings arguing. This beats anything on television.

"Mabel, I don't want you to see Norman anymore. He's gonna eat your brain!"

You know, in the short time that I knew them (I wanna say at least over week), I had never seen them act this way towards one another. Rather, I never seen Mabel upset at Dipper.

"Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date. I'm gonna be adorable, he's gonna be dreamy, we're going to have a good time, and I'm not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!"

"But-But-But!"

"Buts are for sitting on." Mabel then just giggled to herself from her little one liner. "Now I'm gonna go freshen up and I'm gonna meet up with Norman. If you follow me to spy on me, I'm not gonna speak to you for the rest of the time we're at Gravity Falls."

And boom goes the dynamite. Both Dipper and I see Mabel head into the back as I couldn't help but smirk.

"Smooth move Dorker. Maybe that'll teach you to stop it with those dumb conspiracies of yours before you-"

"Wendy! I need you go to town to pick up some supplies pronto! Take the Mystery Cart and be sure not to leave it on empty this time!"

I immediately growled in anger. "For the hundredth time Stan, that wasn't me! Ugh!" I just swiped the keys hanging up from behind me before stomping out the door. Before I stepped out, I spun around and gave Dipper a harsh glare. "By the way Dorker, thanks for screwing me over with your 'Grunkle' Stan." I don't give him time to answer back as I shut the door behind me and headed on over to the Mystery Cart.

I started up the engine as I saw it was on one-eighth of a tank. Yeah, sure 'empty.' Whatever Stan. I backed up and drove on down the dirt road away from the Shack. Along the way I passed by a few tourists who were driving on up to see the Mystery Shack. Then I saw a Land Rover swerving around the road before drifting into my lane. I looked to see who was in driving it: two college girls texting on their phones. So I performed my Good Samaritan act. *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* "HEY ASSHOLES, WATCH THE ROAD!" They both looked up from their phones before swerving back into their lane. Then the driver stuck their head out their window to 'thank' me.

"HEY I WAS WATCHING THE ROAD YOU BIT-OH SHIT!"

I then heard the sound of screeching brakes followed by the sound of metal hitting metal. I stopped the cart to see they had rear-ended a truck as I couldn't help but smirk. Karma is a bitch. It wasn't long before I got into town as I looked at my watch. 4:23. I decided to gas the cart up first (with the way my luck has been so far with this stupid thing, I'd run out of gas right as I pulled out from the supply store).

I puttered on in (heh, puttered) to one of the pumps as I hopped on out. I reached into my back pocket to pull out my wallet before walking inside. I then saw who was working the register as it was one of my ex-boyfriends, Xavier.

"Oh hey Wendy, what brings you here?" he asked, "Did you come to ask me ba-"

"I'm just here to get gas idiot," I growled, getting out $40 before slamming it on the countertop, "$40 on 3. Keep the change." I just leave the store before going to fill the Mystery Cart with gas. It took a couple of minutes as I filled the tank up. There was a few dollars left over as I just decide to head on to the store than get hit on by my ex.

I then arrived at the store as I saw it was a little bit past 4:30. I hopped on out of the cart before making my way inside. It had occurred to me that Stan never really said what kind of supplies he needed exactly. But I figured out that one of the supplies he needed was glue. That and probably those bendy wires, googly eyes, and…you know what, I'll just hit up the arts and craft aisle.

A trip to the arts and craft aisle and a pit stop to the register (obviously), and I was on my way back to the Mystery Shack. I looked at my watch again. 4:49 going on 4:50. Nice. In and out with no hassle. The road then went from asphalt to dirt, indicating I was halfway to the shack. Along the way, I saw bits of metal on the ground from the accident from earlier (heh heh).

I pulled up to the Mystery Shack as I turned off the cart. I grab the bags of arts and crafts (aka, the 'supplies') before grabbing the key out of the ignition. No sooner did I get out and make my way to the shack entrance, I saw Dipper run at me. Oh no, he better not-

"Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!"

Yup, he's gonna ask if he-

"I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!"

I just face palmed myself as I used my other hand to restrain Dipper from swiping the keys away from me.

"Wendy, I'm being serious! I really need to use the cart to-"

"No, you're not using the Mystery Cart," I snapped, cutting him off. Dipper then stopped as I let go of him, crossing my arms. "I'm not giving you the keys. I already got in trouble because of you since you last took the Mystery Cart. I don't even know how you got the keys."

"Now Stan is blaming me for stuff that you did. I guarantee that if something else happens to the Mystery Cart, he'll just blame it on me too."

"I…uh…I…"

I narrowed my eyes at him at a glare, wanting him to I wanted to lay into him. Oh did I want to make him pay for getting me in trouble earlier. But as soon as I looked at Dipper, I just saw a glint of something in his eyes.

Then only thing I could do was just sigh in defeat. "Fine, you can take the cart." I then felt myself get wrapped up in a hug, causing my cheeks to turn red.

"Thanks Wendy, you're the b-" A karate chop to the head ended the little Kodak moment. "Eh heh, sorry about that."

"Whatever Dorker," I replied before heading inside. For some odd reason, I don't know what possessed me to say this to him but I turned to look at Dipper, a smirk on my face. "Try not to hit any pedestrians."

"I'll try not to," replied Dipper as I walked back to the shack entrance.

As I was walking in, I overheard Soos talking with Dipper about fighting zombies and then piñatas in the woods. I just rolled my eyes. Honestly, I think Dipper had a better chance of running into a random piñata in the woods than a zombie. I then saw Stan in the process of creating what appeared to be a new attraction of some sort (actually, he was tracing his hand before drawing on it to pass off as some sort of handprint of some weird creature). "Yo Stan, I got the supplies."

He then turned to face me, a big grin on his face. "Perfect timing! I found some metal out back and trying to turn it into an amulet of some sort." Stan then grabbed the bag out of my hands before heading into the back for a bit.

I just rolled my eyes before going back to my 'post' at the cash register. I plopped my butt on the chair and opened up my magazine as I waited for the next wave of tourists. But as I did that, I just had this nagging voice in the back of my mind.

"I hope nothing bad really happens to them. Will Dipper make it time?"

I don't know why I was thinking that. Maybe I was just working too hard today, that's all. Yeah, that's gotta be it. But as time went on, I just kept looking at the clock. 5:15. 5:25. 5:40. 5:55. All the while, Stan was busy fleecing more tourists with his cheesy attractions. This also included 'Rock Face that looks like a Face.' Or was it 'Face Rock That Looks like a Rock?' (Eh, I don't know. It's confusing). Then for some odd reason, Stan got out one of those hypnotizing spiral-thingies and started playing with it with the tourists. Yup, we've hit a new low.

Then out of nowhere, I heard this loud crash outside followed by some cries of pain. I immediately hopped over the register counter and ran outside. Whatever that was, it was just around the corner and-

"HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES! (Wait, did I just shout out 'Hot Belgian Waffles'?) WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MYSTERY CART?!"

I saw the cart on its side, the poles that held up the top cover were badly bent, the carrier in the back was mangled, the speaker on top was only attached by a small wire, and the quarter panels were dented in. It looked like somebody took a bat to it or decided to go off road on it and smash it up. I then saw Dipper and Mabel as they were in rough shape as well (torn clothes, messed up hair, a bruised eye on Dipper as well as scratch marks. But that wasn't my focus, not at all.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THE MYSTERY CART?!" I then saw the keys were still in the ignition as I ran over and pulled them out. Panic began to set in as I began to pant rapidly. "Oh man, Stan's gonna kill me if he sees the cart like this.

"Uh Wendy."

"Shut up Dorker!" I immediately spun around and set my sights on Dipper. "You little…sunava…I'm gonna…ERGH!" This was one of the very rare times I was so upset at somebody, I was at a loss for words.

"Um, I think you might need to-"

"Just shut up!" I snapped at Mabel before holding my forehead. "Calm down Wendy, calm down. Maybe you can get this down to the shop before Stan notices-"

"HOLY MOSES! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MYSTERY CART?!"

"-it."

From the other side, we saw Stan just standing there, a horrified look on his face as he saw the tangled mechanical mess. He then looked at the cart and then at me as he saw in my hands the keys. Stan's eyes narrowed into a glare as he was shaking with anger. It took me a split second to realize why he was giving me that look before looking at the keys in my hand. So I calmly defended myself in a very reasonable matter.

"Dude, it's not what you think! I just got out here-"

"Enough!" barked Stan, stomping over to me. He then swiped the keys right out of my hand. "First you get the cart stolen, then you left it on 'E,' now you've ruined it while joyriding to the store!"

"But-But-But-But-But!"

"No buts! You're paying for the repair. Every single penny is gonna come out of your paycheck."

"But it wasn't me!"

"You're the only one who was driving it recently."

Yeah, that's true. I was the only one driving it…that he knew of. Still, it felt like I was in a hopeless fight.

"This is such bull-crap man! I didn't do anything to the cart."

"Yeah right, like it just broke on its own. Or perhaps little men took it." Stan then just crossed his arms. "I'm disappointed in you Wendy. I thought I could trust you. But I see I was wrong in-"

"Grunkle Stan, stop!"

Stan stopped in the middle of his little 'Wendy belittlement' rant to look at who shouted at him.

"Just stop right now."

We both then saw that it was Dipper who shouted at us. He just looked at me, a look of guilt on his face (why did he give me that look?) before looking at Stan.

"Grunkle Stan, Wendy didn't wreck the Mystery Cart. I did."

Stan's mouth dropped in shock from his grandnephew's confession. "You did this?"

"Yes Grunkle Stan, I'm the reason why the Mystery Cart is wrecked," replied Dipper, "Mabel got ditched in the woods by her date. So I asked Wendy if I could borrow the cart to go find her. I found Mabel but then we were attacked by a big bear."

"Yeah, it was like 'Rawr' 'Rawr' 'Rawr' 'Rawr'," added Mabel, making animal sounds and clawing the air like a bear would; "It messed up the cart but Dipper threw a big rock in its face, hitting it right in the eye and we got away."

It was my turn to have my mouth dropped in shock. I've faced a few bears before and barely got away each time. They're one of the few animals I am very, very, very cautious around yet Dipper punked one out and got away unscathed (err, except for a badly damaged golf cart…which…makes you wonder, how did the bear wreck it this bad).

Stan just cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure while looking back to me. "Well. I guess that so maybe you weren't responsible for-"

"Also one more thing," interrupted Dipper, "Grunkle Stan, I overheard you yelling at Wendy about the Mystery Cart being empty on gas earlier this morning. That was me too."

Stan just blinked his eyes he gave Dipper a look of confusion. Me, I just stood there with my jaw dropped even further down (if this was a cartoon, the bottom of my jaw would be on the ground. That was how shocked I was).

Stan just looked over to Dipper, then to me, and then back at Dipper.

"You're not trying to cover for her are you?"

"No, it's the truth. I ended up waking up earlier this morning and I just took the cart into town to explore and get some breakfast." He then looked down at the ground, rubbing his left arm. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I was afraid of how'd you react." Dipper then looked back at Stan except he had this look of bravery in his eyes. "So if you have anybody to be upset about what happened to the Mystery Cart today, it's me. I'm the one responsible and I'll accept any punishment you give me."

I couldn't believe it. The little pipsqueak was sticking up for me. Why? What was his motive?

"Wendy?"

Was he trying to be nice to me so I'd leave him alone?

"Wendy?"

Was he trying to hold this over my head so that I would have to owe him down the road?

"Wendy?"

Was he…Was he trying to get me to like him?!

"WENDY!"

I snapped out of my thoughts before looking at Stan.

"Jeez, I was calling out to you and you had this blank stare on your face. That music you listen to is rotting your brain." Stan then rubbed the back of his head. "Look, I'm sorry for snapping at you just now and before," he muttered, "You can…You can take tomorrow off, fully paid."

I was taken back by that. "Are…Are you sure? Is this a trick like you pulled last week when I had to pick the pipsqueaks up from the bus station?"

"Don't make this more awkward than this is," replied Stan, "No tricks, no nothing. It's 100% clean." The old man then rubbed the back of his head. "Well, guess I can take it to Steve since I need Soos to help run the Shack tomorrow. Better go inside to make a phone call." He then turned to go inside, pausing to look back at me. "You can go home early too Wendy. Erh…Thanks for your help today."

I didn't know how to react. I never, ever seen that man so humbled the way he was just now. I mean sure, he gets cranky cause he's an old guy. Heck, I was gonna brush off his little freak out and have it go in one ear and out the other (and possibly flick him off while he wasn't looking). But the way Stan looked when he was apologizing, he looked really remorseful. It's like he yelled at his own family or something like that. Eh, whatever. Maybe I'm just looking into things for no reason.

I turned to leave to go unchain my bike. I thought about riding home but I needed time to think and…well think. I mean, today was an eventful day and-

"Hey, wait up."

Huh? I then saw Dipper run up to me, looking at me with a nervous smile on his face. It was met with an annoyed scowl. "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to thank you for letting me use the cart to help Mabel."

"You rock Wendy!" chimed in Mabel.

"I guess I owe you huh."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Stop asking me like a hundred questions while I'm working or try to correct me when I'm talking and we'll call it even Dorker."

"Uh, it's Dipper."

"Whatever." I quickly turned to walk away. It wasn't just because I didn't feel like talking to him anymore. Rather, I didn't want him to see that my cheeks were becoming a little red and warm. I mean, no guy has ever stood up for me like the way Dipper stood up for me against Stan. I shook my head before scowling. One little nice thing won't set off the mountain of annoyance he's been causing me and we're still in May.

"Well thanks again Wendy."

I immediately spun my head around to snap at the younger boy. "Stop talking to me and leave me alone already!" My cheeks were now a bright red as I got a flustered look on my face. "Stupid Dipper! Stupid Dipper!"

"I guess we'll see you on Friday."

"SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Hope you have a good evening and be careful on your way home."

"CAN'T YOU TAKE A HINT?! STOP TALKING TO ME! UGH!"

"Heh, I think she likes you Dipper."

An ear shattering shriek of anger was then heard throughout the entire forest. I'll let you figure out who did that.

* * *

ZeroFox: *wakes up slowly as he then yawns* Oh boy, what a nap. I was just gonna do a power nap but then this cushion was so comfy-*sees that the 'cushion' he was resting on was actually a really round cat.*

Cat: Hiya.

ZeroFox: O_o

Cat: Hiya?

ZeroFox: ...You are now officially part of the group fluffy kitty.

Cat: Hiya. :3


	6. Legend of the GobbleWonker 1

Harlic: *comes walking in the room with Wendy* Ah, that was a fun break to the spas. I feel 400 years younger now.

Wendy: Wait…what? How old are you?

Harlic: Very. *sees a giant orange blob on a pillow* Eh? *pokes at it with one of her fox tails, only to see the blob turn into a cat.*

Cat: Hiya.

Harlic: EH?! WHAT IS THAT THING?

ZeroFox: *pokes his head from the kitchen* Oh, that's Poyo-san. He probably snuck inside while I was asleep and I used him as a pillow. As of today, he's now officially part of the crew.

Poyo: Hiya.

Wendy: *pokes Poyo with her right index finger* Just what is he? He looks like a pumpkin on stubby legs. Are you sure this is a cat?

Poyo: *in annoyed tone* Hiyaaaa.

ZeroFox: *chops off a piece of tuna before flinging it outside* SHOW THEM YOUR INNER BEAST POYO-SAN!

Wendy & Harlic: *sees Poyo dash out, sprinting like a cheetah before leaping into the air and catching the tuna* EHH?!

Poyo: *trots back in and sits down* Hiya. :3

ZeroFox: Nice work Poyo-san. *completely ignores the two stunned girls* Now let's cue up the disclaimer and get on with the story.

Poyo: Hiya!

Disclaimer: THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFIT FANFICTION! GRAVITY FALLS AND ITS CHARACTERS BELONG TO ALEX HIRSCH AND DISNEY. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE.

* * *

Yeesh, what an eventful May this has been, especially this week. Between getting a new job and dealing with Dipper and Mabel, it was like nothing I ever could have imagined. Still, we haven't really entered summer yet. At the rate that this has been going, I had to debate whether or not I would stay at the Mystery Shack or try to find another place that seemed less stressful. But since nobody else in town would hire me (and I didn't want to go upstate to work at my cousin Fredrick's lumberyard) I decided to tough it out.

But with the weekend coming up, I should be able to get some good ol' R & R. It's not like I'm gonna have to deal with those kids and their shenanigans…right...RIGHT?!

* * *

*Insert the Gravity Falls Intro Theme*

* * *

 **Chapter 4:**

 **Legend of the GobbleWonker P.1**

Okay, so the other day ended on an 'interesting' note. I was getting reamed out by Stan over something I didn't do and then out of nowhere, Dorker…er…Dipper (fine, I'll use his real name this time…but just this one time) stood up for me and totally owned up. I was stunned by it and I'm not easily stunned (no seriously, just ask my friends. Nothing really surprises me).

Stan then ended up apologizing to me, which added more to my bewilderment during that entire moment. The walk home was a little longer than usual. I just needed some time alone to think. I don't know why but I just couldn't get what had happened to me earlier. I mean, what in the high hell just happened back there?

I mean, sure Dorker and I didn't get along (and by 'not get along' I mean I wanted to pound his face in every time he talked to me). Yet he stuck out his neck for me in a big way. I was swamped with like a weird emotion yet I couldn't tell what it was. Was I feeling embarrassed? No, too strong of a word. Stunned? Eh…not too much. Flustered? Not really but kind of (I owe that to Mabel for her 'comment' as I was leaving).

"Dude, you were totally Embarastunnstered."

"Thanks Soos…..wait, what?!"

Okay, I think I need some sleep. I don't know why but I just heard Soos come up with a new word in my head. Although it did summarize how I was feeling at the moment. Better throw in crazy as well since I was losing my mind now and believing Soos was talking to me.

"I'm actually your subconscious. But because I have no real form or voice, your mind is making me take the form of your friend Soos to talk to you. Ha ha, wild huh?"

…Okay, first thing after dinner is bed. No television or computer, just bed.

I arrived at my home as I chained up my bicycle to its post. I walked up to the door, grabbing my keys to open up the door. No sooner had I opened up and stepped inside, my dad came to greet me.

"Wendy, you're home a little late than normal."

"Yeah, just a long day at work," I replied back.

"Ha, did Stan ask you to give him a sponge bath or something?"

I just gave my dad a punch in the shoulder (in the joking manner of course). "Dad, don't be gross." I couldn't help but chuckle. I knew he was trying to mess with me. "Stan had that 'Tourist Day' thingie going on so he needed me to stay late. He also gave me the day off tomorrow."

"Really?" replied my now surprised father, "You must have been hard at work all day."

"Yeah, you could say that," I replied, leaving out the 'yelling' Stan did. I figured it was best not to bring that up. It was over and done with, no need to fret over it (or be reminded of what happened afterwards). I then yawned. "So, what's for dinner?"

"Well I saved ya some leftovers from last night," replied my dad, "You cooked a lot of meat. So I decided to cook up some onions and peppers to make sandwiches. Your brothers already ate so have at it with the leftovers. Cheese is in the fridge if you want to put some on."

My mouth just watered. A venison steak and cheese sandwich along with cooked onions and peppers. It's quick, it's easy, and I don't have to really clean up afterwards. I'm sold.

"Sweet, thanks dad." I quickly gave my dad a hug before dashing over the kitchen to fix myself up some dinner. I also saw that my dad whipped up some of his beer-battered fries.

"No way! You made your special fries?"

"Eh, figured my little girl could use a treat after a long day of work."

"You're awesome dad!"

I grabbed a giant handful before dropping them onto my plate. Still warm. Yes!

"Your brothers are in their room so the TV's yours if you wanna watch something and eat."

Wow, it's just coming up me right at this moment. Better just enjoy the ride while it lasts. Just then an idea then popped into my head before I left the kitchen. "Hey dad, since the TV is mine…you want to watch a movie together?"

My dad just looked at me and grinned. "Okay but I get to pick this time. None of those really bad movies you like to watch. I actually want to be able to finish watching the movie."

I just roll my eyes, smirking at my old man. "Hey, those movies are fun to make commentary on." I just walk over to the living room, going over to a small DVD rack where we kept movies on. I scrolled through some of the films before coming across one movie. "Hey dad, want to watch the Green Mile?"

"No," was the response.

I kinda figured why. It's a tear jerker movie for him and the thought of anybody seeing 'Manly' Dan crying was a fate worse than death. So I decided to watch pick a comedy I knew he'd like. "Hey, how about this one." I held up a DVD movie as my dad's face lit up. It was 'Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.'

"Oh that's a classic! Put that one in!"

I figured he'd like it. So I put it in, grabbed my food and a drink while my dad grabbed some popcorn, hopped on the couch, and hit play. Hey, what can I say? I may be a 'rebellious' teenager but every now and again, nothing beats watching a movie with the old man.

A couple hours later (and a bunch of bellows of laughter mostly coming from my dad) we finish up the movie. My dad cleaned up as I turned off the DVD player and television. He then comes back and then kisses me on the forehead.

"That was great pumpkin. Thanks."

"Anytime dad," I replied back.

He then went to bed as I headed up to my room. I just do my usual routine of getting into my pajamas before closing my door and turning out the light. I hopped into bed and closed my eyes, drifting into dreamland. Yup, everything is coming up Wendy.

The next day, I awoke up. A small smile of triumph was on my face. Yup, time to enjoy my day off. I looked over at my clock on my stand. 6:18 p.m. All the blood rushed from my face, making me look even paler (is that even possible?). "SON OF A BITCH, I SLEPT THROUGH THE ENTIRE DAY?! *Insert a string of curse word combos that would make Stan blush.*" Yup, that's how angry/frazzled I was (Oh don't give me that look. You would have reacted the same if you slept through your entire day off).

I immediately leapt out of bed, quickly dashing to my dresser to change into clothes. Damn it! How did I sleep through the entire day?! *Puck* *Puck* *Puck* *Puck*! I slapped on some jean shorts (yes, I own some jorts and no, they're not those short-short kind. Seriously, how could girls wear those anyways?), a t-shirt, a baseball cap, flip-flops, sunglasses, and…and….what the hell am I wearing?! Seriously, this is totally not my wardrobe...but it'll have to do!

I grab my wallet, my phone, and house keys off my dresser top before running out my room. Damn it, I will salvage my day off! I will not just waste it all by sleeping in! I-

"Hey Wendy, what's wrong?"

I looked behind me to see my brothers giggling.

"What's so funny dweebs?" I growled at them.

"Oh nothing," replied Thurman.

*Pucking* dweebs. I just run down the stairs, past a clock that was nailed tight and duct taped to the wall (you'll find out way later why it's like that). A quick glance at the clock and…and…and…and…

…

…..

…..

…..

"YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! YOU SCREWED WITH MY ALARM CLOCK!"

For the record, it read 9:56 a.m. on the clock. But my brothers knew what time it was right now: Pain Time.

"RUN!"

The sound of scampering footsteps followed by the sound of stomping footsteps on the stairs echoed throughout the house. I would have caught those three brats if they didn't shut the door, lock it, and then barricade it. I got to their door and started banging on it hard.

"YOU BETTER LET ME IN OR ELSE I'LL CHOP THE DAMN DOOR DOWN!"

"No! You'll just wail us," replied Alex.

He's not wrong. I was going to raise hell and proceed to beat the shit out of all of them. It's not because of the prank that they did (I'll admit. I've pulled that one on them a few times in the past when they were younger or when they annoyed the crap out of me). Rather it was the principle of the matter. They came into my room, my domain, my realm, my sanctuary, the one place I didn't have to worry about dweeb brothers or dorky twins (Hey don't judge me. A girl's room is a sacred place, am I right ladies?).

I immediately cocked my fist back and was ready to punch the door down. But then that little voice in my head called 'common sense' spoke up. Oh sure, I could break down the door and proceed to beat the shit out of my brothers (or at least one of them since the others would disperse immediately) but two things:

A. My hand would hurt like hell for the next few days.

And…

B. Try explaining to dad while you bust down the door to your younger siblings' room.

I just sighed angrily, slowly calming myself down. I don't need this stress on my day off. I'll just go do whatever I want. I then glared at the door to my brothers' room.

"You are so lucky I got things to do otherwise all three of you would be dead meat!"

I just storm down the stairs before heading outside. It was a nice day outside, sun was out and it wasn't too hot. Eh, might as well do a little walking. I just walked down my driveway and to wherever my feet take me.

Sometime later (and I mean close to the late afternoon, almost early evening), I just head on back home exhausted and sweaty. I'm not going to go into a step-by-step detail. That would be totally boring. So here's the quick recap: Got into town, met with the gang, hung out with them, did some mini-golf, took some swings in the batting cages, hit up the mall, ignored Nate and Lee's needling of my outfit, left the gang, traded barbs with Pacifica (I really hate that bitch), and head on home.

Though I did see the damndest thing happen. During different points during the day, I saw Blubs and Durland race down the road, once in the direction of the Mystery Shack and then back to the Gravity Falls County police station with the Pines in the backseat. Eh, whatever. I'm sure Soos will fill me in tomorr-

"Doo-Doo-Do-Doo-Doo Soos! Doo-Doo-Do-Doo-Doo Soos! Doo-Doo-Do-Doo-Doo Soos!"

Yup, $5 to anybody who can guess who was calling me right now. Oh, if you were wondering about why I had that ringtone for him, it's really simple. Was bored at work the other day as Soos just randomly asked me out of the blue he could customize his own ringtone for his number on my phone.

"Dude, could I get a customize ring tone for my number when I call you? I made it myself."

"Eh, I don't see why not."

"Sweet!"

Okay….why did I just remember something random like that?

After a couple more times of the same ring tone playing back, I decided to answer it. "What up Soos?"

"Dude, you're totally gotta come over right now. I got something to show you that's gonna blow your socks off."

"Actually I-" I immediately stopped myself from finishing that sentence. You know when somebody uses an expression and you take it literally, only to feel really dumb at that moment? Yup, that was me. Thankfully I realized it quickly.

"I-l'll be heading over. Just give me a couple minutes."

"Sure thing Wendy."

I then hang up my phone as I just turned to walk in the direction towards Soos' place. For those who don't know, Soos actually lives with his abuelita on 32 Chambrot Drive, in Gravity Falls (stalk him and I will stake you. That's not a threat, that's a promise). It's a small little house with a pretty decent size yard. I've gone over there a few times to hang with Soos in the past and also help him with whatever pet project he was working on at the moment. I think one time he tried to make a time machine that would take him to Florida (some things are best left not asked).

It took me a few minutes to head on over there but when I got there, my jaw dropped in awe at what I saw in the yard.

"Whoa dude. That's something you don't see every day."

Right in Soos' yard was a boat. It was a decent size boat too, I wanna say like 20+ feet in length. I just walked around the fence to get a closer look at the boat. By first glance, you could tell that Soos spent some time with repairs (there were a few steel patches on the hull and some of the wood looked like they was replaced).

"Ahoy matey, can I help you?"

I looked up at the wheel to see Soos. He was in his usually clothes (khaki shorts, sneakers, that grey-blue shirt with the question mark on it). But instead of his cap, he was wearing…wearing…wearing…why is he wearing a pirate's hat and…hold on a second. Is…is that a question mark Jolly Roger?

"Hey there stranger, do I know you?"

I just snapped back out of my train of thought (seriously, though. Why a question mark Jolly Roger) before looking up at Soos and the confused look on his face. I guess since he's more so used to seeing me in my usual flannel and jeans outfit, anything else I wear would surprise or confuse him (note to self, experiment on this with Stan).

"Uh yeah dude, you know me," I replied back, a big grin on my face, "We work together at the Mystery Shack."

Soos blinked his eyes as then then lit up with that look of realization (it's hard to describe but you know it when you see it. "Ha ha! Oh wow Wendy. Didn't recognize you without your usual flannel shirt and jeans outfit."

I just rub the back of his head, still grinning. "Long story man. Believe me, you're not the only one who was shocked to see me dress like this." I then continued to look at the boat in his yard. "So was this what you wanted to show me?"

Soos nodded his head. "Yup. Pretty sweet, huh Wendawg."

It was. I mean, I really don't know any guys that own boats. None of my friends owned any (Name me a 15/16 year old in Gravity Falls that owns a boat). So now comes the million dollar question.

"So dude…how did you get this boat?"

"Won it in a card game," replied Soos, "Apparently I'm a good bluffer according to Mr. Pines and your dad."

I just blinked my eyes in disbelief. I'm torn from my usual 'not surprised' response with that of shock that Soos won a boat in a card game (I thought that stuff happened in movies). Not to mention that he beat Stan and my dad in cards. From what I heard in town with some folks, that's a feat in itself.

"Far out man," I said in an impressed tone while examining the large boat in the backyard, "Looks like you did some work on it as well."

"It was a little beaten up when I got it but I was able to fix it," said Soos, "Patched all the holes and replaced all the rotten wood with some new wood, and made a few adjustments."

I happened to noticed one of those wooden mermaids super glued with a plank of wood nailed under it with the phrase 'La Belleza del Océano' written on it. I'm just gonna ignore that for now.

"So what are you going to do with it?"

"I'm gonna finish working on it tonight and then do some finishing touches tomorrow night," replied Soos, "With any luck, I'll be able to put this baby on the water the following Saturday morning." Soos then puffed out his chest in a triumphant manner. "And I will captain the S.S. Cool Dude as we sail the Seven Seas in search of treasure and stuff. Also maybe to the grocery store for some snacks."

I will admit, I admire Soos' enthusiasm. Though I think Blubs and Durland would freak out if they randomly saw a boat driving on the road (would be funny as hell to watch them do so).

"That's awesome dude," I replied back; "So…do you need help getting to the water?" I had an idea what his response would be like.

"If you don't mind Wendawg," replied Soos, "I mean, I would ask Mr. Pines and the kids but they're in the county jail at the moment."

"Not at all Soos," I answered back. There was a five second pause as my brain decided to register that last sentence Soos had just said. "Wait….what did you just say?"

"Mr. Pines, Dipper, and Mabel are doing some time in the Gravity Falls county jail," said Soos, "Sometimes about forgery or money fraud and a little bit of bribery with said forged money."

I just laughed. Not like that loud 'Hahahahaha…good one dude!' laugh. More of that nervous/uncertain laugh you make when the situation gets a little awkward. "Quit messing with me Soos. If that's supposed to be a joke, it's not really that good dude."

Soos then got a confused look on his face. "Dude, what joke are you talking about?"

All the blood suddenly rushed out of my face. Oh my god, he wasn't kidding. I admit, I was feeling a little tense from the thought of losing my job and going to work at a lumberyard. And by tense I meant that my summer plans came to a giant crash worse than the Stock Market Crash of 1929 that sent the USA into the Great Depression….where did that tidbit come from?! (I even slept through that part of the lesson as well!)

Any who, back to me feeling a panic attack about to commence as my summer was about to coming to a crashing halt.

"So…So…do you know how long they're gonna be in jail for?"

"Well I talked with Sheriff Blubs before you got here," replied Soos, "apparently they consider me 'next-of-kin' to Stan so that's why they called me."

I don't know why but his eyes twinkled when he said 'next-of-kin to Stan' followed by the biggest smile I ever seen him make. Eh, just gonna ignore for the time being. There other 'pressing matters' that deserved more attention.

"So what did Blubs tell you?" No response. Obviously he was in his own little world of some sort. "Yo dude, earth to Soos. Hello."

A couple of finger snaps brought Soos back to reality. If that didn't work, I was prepared to yell. Judging how frazzled I was slowly becoming, it was going to be loud.

"My bad Wendy. What were you asking?"

I just sighed as I had to repeat myself. "What did Blubs tell you about Stan and the kids?"

"Oh right. He said he was gonna put Mr. Pines in jail for the night and all of tomorrow," replied Soos, "Almost like a timeout or something."

Well…crisis averted. I still have a job in Gravity Falls. Hooray I suppose.

I then looked at Soos. "What about the Mabel and Dorker?"

"Oh, Mabel and Dipper are just there for the night," answered Soos, "Something about setting them right so they don't go end up in a life of crime or something about how crime doesn't pay. I'm a little bit fuzzy on what they were saying at that point. I kept hearing Stan yelling in the background he wanted to see a lawyer."

Somehow or another, I could see Stan totally doing that. I then looked at Soos.

"Soooo…..Is it possible for Dorker to stay in jail longer?"

Soos just let out a hearty chuckle. "Ha ha, good one Wendy. That's a funny joke."

I wasn't joking though, I was being serious.

Then as if his brain sprinted in another direction, Soos' eyes lit up with an idea. "Oh hey Wendy, you uh…you wanna help me paint the boat?"

I shrugged my shoulders. Eh, why the hell not. It's not like I got anything going on at the time (except laugh my ass off at the fact Dipper in jail. Although I did feel sorry for Mabel but for some odd reason, I kept picturing her making friends with some of the inmates). "Hand me a paint brush Soos."

An hour and some cans of paint later, the S.S. Cool Dude was painted…err…brownish? I mean, the little cabin thing with the steering wheel was painted like a dark red but other than that….well…I guess good job? And with my outfit covered in paint, I guess I won't be able to wear it again. What a shame (by the way, I was being sarcastic. This lumberjill is all about the flannel).

"Wow, we really did a good job painting the S.S. Cool Dude," observed Soos, a big smile on his face, "Now I can't wait to get it to Lake Gravity Falls Saturday. Everybody else is gonna be like 'Dude, sweet boat you got there Soos!' and I'll be like 'Thanks dudes.' and we're all gonna have a blast!"

I just laughed, a big grin on my face. That's Soos, always thinking positive. "Yeah man, can't wait for the weekend to get here. It's gonna be so rad!" I then pulled out my cell phone to see what time it was. It was 6:18 for real. "Yeesh! I better head on home. It's almost dinner time and I gotta wash up." I then did a miniature two-finger salute. "Later Soos."

"Later Wendawg," replied Soos before going back to make any final touches to his boat.

I then just trudged on back home, hands in my pocket, and big grin on my face. I couldn't wait for Saturday to get here. It was gonna be so awesome. I mean, chilling with Soos and shooting the shit in between fishing is always a good time.

…..

…..

Wait….a minute…

Boat + Gravity Falls Lake + Lot's of time on Saturday = ….Holy shit! Why didn't I think of it in the first place?!

Instead of just fishing, we could go check out those weird islands in Gravity Falls Lake, including Scuttlebutt Island. Ha ha, that's a perfect idea! Glad I just thought of it right now.

For those who are not familiar with Scuttlebutt Island, it's like in the farthest reach of the lake with like tons of fog, rocks, and debris from sunken ships (eh, pretty sure those people made it out okay). Nobody really has explored the island either for whatever reasons. Some of the locals think it's a cursed place as well (snerk, yeah right!).

Also, there's like talk at school about buried treasure and a monster of some sort. Lee and Thompson were really into that and were talking about it while we all hung out. At first I thought they were just pulling out legs. Plus….I admit, wasn't really paying attention to what they were saying (hey, that last boss in Fighting Fighters was a bastard to beat. I had to pay attention to that. Priorities people, priorities). But now that Soos has a boat, we could totally check it out and see whether or not all the rumors were true. I'm sure Soos would be down for that. Man, I can't wait for Saturday. I just gotta get through Friday though, shouldn't be that big of a hassle. I mean, it'll just be another day off to chill.

So the next day just seemingly flew by as I ended up going to work.

Now originally, I was going to just sleep in and pretend it's another day off because I didn't receive a phone call from Stan saying there was work. I mean hey, if your boss doesn't call in to say there is work then is there work?

But then it dawned on me. If I did that, then that would leave Soos all by himself at the shack. All alone dealing with both the maintenance, the tourists, and the register. Which is why being a good gal that I am (keep your comments to yourself to those in the peanut gallery), I rode on in on my bike, punched in, and helped him out run the Mystery Shack for the day.

Surprisingly enough, it was dead that day. We really didn't get that many tourists or people stopping in compared to a normal day. I don't know why but you know the old saying, 'Don't look a gifted horse in the mouth' (Why would you look in a horse's mou…damn it, I'm doing it again!)

But whenever a bunch of tourist did come by, Soos lead them around in his…his…his own getup….I guess you could call it. It was just him wearing sunglasses instead of a patch, a hoodie with a giant question mark on the front, and a ' _Hi, My Name Is'_ nametag that had in the space where you would put your real name, the name _**Questioney the Question Mark**_ '. Sometimes it's better to let people do their own thing.

Me, on the other hand, I just did my usual register work and occasionally restocked the shelves and racks with whatever. But…*sigh*…when Soos was busy in the back with something and there were tourists…*sigh*…'Wondering Wendy' had to make an appearance (and each time, I died a little more inside).

But for the majority of the day, it was just Soos and myself in the shack with the radio on. I will admit…we did kinda…err…sorta…'goofed around' when nobody else was around. By 'goof around', I mean we'd end up doing break dance sessions whenever a killer song came on the radio (like with this one song called 'Wormy.' As soon as it came on, Soos ended up doing the worm for a good three and a half minutes. Not gonna lie folks. It was pretty awesome).

Then towards the end of the day, well near closing time actually, Soos and I were both graced by the presence of the Pines family in the Mystery Shack after they got dropped off outside by Blubs and Durland. Both Mabel and Dipper looked pale for some odd reason and each had large bags under their eyes. Stan on the other hand, looked perfectly okay as he just looked at this grandniece and nephew while they walked up to the Shack entrance.

"Oh come on, it was just one night. That kind of stuff builds character. In fact, when I was your age I spent a day in jail for truancy and my dad asked the police chief to hold me up for an extra day." Stan then looked away as I heard him mutter something about a lousy father.

What kind of character are you trying to build Stan and what kind of childhood did you have? My attention then went back to the magazine I was reading while sitting at the register. The door opened up as the trio then walked inside, somewhat oblivious to me sitting behind the register (hopefully they won't notice me at all).

"I can't believe I have a felony charge on my record before I was an adult," said Dipper in a depressed tone, "My chances of getting into a prestige college are pretty much done for."

"It was so cold in the jail," shivered Mabel, "So very….very cold."

Stan then looked at them. "Now remember you two, your parents can never know about this. Got it?"

"Got it Grunkle Stan," the twins replied in unison, causing Stan (and myself as well) to shudder.

"Seriously, don't ever do that again," he scolded, closing the door behind him, "It's creepy when you two talk at the same time. Like something out of a Stephen King movie or something."

Before anybody could say anything, we all saw a young Spanish man come running from the back of the store and wrap Stan in a big hug.

"You're back Mr. Pines! You're back!" beamed Soos, hugging his boss, "It just wasn't the same without you here!" There was then an awkward moment of silence between the two as Soos realized he had crossed some sort of line. "Uh…sorry about that Mr. Pines."

Soos then just placed Stan back onto the ground as the old man just grumbled, dusting himself off like he had gotten his clothes dirty.

"Soos I will pay you to never do that again. Ever!"

"Fair enough."

After taking a few seconds to regain his 'dignity' (or whatever he calls it), Mr. Pines just looked around the store. "You guys kept the store running and didn't let it burn to the ground. I'm impressed."

"You're welcome," I chimed in from the register, reading my magazine.

"Ha, didn't think you were there Corduroy. Thought you took another day off."

A quick scratching of my right temple with my middle finger and a dirty look shot at my direction ensued afterwards.

I then heard footsteps walking past me as I looked up to watch Dipper and Mabel walk past me.

"I'm going to bed. Hopefully there's not going to be a rat on it."

"I'm gonna take a warm shower. A girl can wear the same sweater for so long before it makes her stink."

"Are you g-" I froze in midsentence as they walked past me with Mabel in front of Dipper.

Now it takes a lot to make me do freeze in midsentence and I mean a lot. But there was a good reason why I did that.

I had noticed that Dipper was wearing one of those dumb blue hats with a pine tree in the middle. Now hell would have to freeze over if I ever wore one of those lame hats. But the damndest thing is that don't know why I felt that way (I honestly couldn't explain it for the life of me) but I got this weird feeling of déjà vu clicking within my mind when I saw him in that hat. Like he was somebody from my past, somebody that seemed to have a big impact on me. Then for one reason or another, I felt my cheeks getting warm, like I was getting into some sort of lovey-dovey swoon.

But two things to consider:

A. I got a reputation to uphold as being the cool, calm one. So I can't allow myself to get that flustered over something like some weird memory (that's just odd on so many levels and that crap only happens on television and in movies)

B. This is Dorker we're talking about. I do not, and I repeat with major emphasis on 'do not', have any lovey-dovey feelings towards him whatsoever. Never have and never will and you can all quote me on that!

So I just shook my head briefly, regaining my composure, as I gave Dorker a smug smirk.

"Nice hat Dorker. Was that a souvenir from the big house?"

"Hey, I got those fair and square!" snapped Stan, busy trying to make a new attraction of some sort with Soos; "Those pins are a different story though."

Err….no comment on what Stan just said. Didn't really expect to answer anyways (also, am I really wearing a pin that used to be on a prison guard or prisoner?!).

Dipper stopped and just turned to look at me. "No but I just saw a spider go into your hair."

I….what? WHAT?! I immediately threw my hat off and quickly ran my hands through my hair, a frantic look on my face. It's not that I am afraid of spiders. I'm just not a fan of the feeling of tiny feet tapping on my head or getting bitten. Yeah, that's it! Heh, I'm not afraid of spiders. Not this lumberjill, ha ha…but I still checked anyways to, you know, just be on the safe side.

After checking my hair (and my checking, I mean frantically patting my hair down for a few seconds) much to the amusement of Mabel and Dorker, it turned out that…that…that there was no spider in my hair.

I could hear Dorker chuckling to himself and a little giggling from Mabel. A scowl was on my face but my cheeks were red. It wasn't because I was embarrassed by them. It was…the fact…that I…would've snickered as well if I was another person and saw my little 'freak out.' So with whatever dignity I had left, I just walked over to the time clock, punched out, and then walked on out of the Mystery Shack.

"I'm going home, see you Monday Mr. Pines."

" Doo doo doo…Putting a wig on a bear. Doo doo doo…Gonna scare some kids. "

I then looked over to see Soos stocking up some snow globes. "Later Soos."

"Later Wendy," he replied back; "I'll give you a buzz when I'm about to head out to the lake."

"Sweet. I'll be looking forward to it."

I then left the Mystery Shack before heading over to my bike to unchain it from its post.

But as I was walking over to my bike, I got hit by that nagging thought of Dorker and his hat. I mean, it's just a dork in a lame, flimsy hat. It's nothing special whatsoever. But why was I getting that feeling of déjà vu like I've seen him wear that hat before. I then felt my cheeks start to turn red and get warm as out of nowhere, a small giggle/squeal escaped my mouth.

It's like I'm…like I'm…OH MY GOD, AM I LIKE THIS BECAUSE OF DORKER?!

A hard slap to my face brought my sanity back as I held my head in agony (and that my left cheek was stinging like a bastard). Just focus on tomorrow Wendy. You got a full day of just chilling on a boat with your best bud Soos. Just doing some fishing and perhaps exploring Scuttlebutt Island (hopefully you won't die in the process).

I unchained my bike before pedaling off, occasionally rubbing my left cheek with my hand (ugh, why do I have to hit so hard?). I arrived at home at the same time as my dad along with Alex. Apparently they went out to grab some stuff for dinner while Jason and Thurman stayed home. I had to lie about the red mark on my face, saying I tried to hit a mosquito. My dad just laughed and wondered if the mosquito's family felt that slap as my brother and I had a good chuckle.

So I know you guys are soooooooooo invested in what happens next but I'll just breeze by it (feels like I prattled on for a bit anyways).

So I had some dinner with the family, played a few video games with my brothers (we 'settled' up from yesterday and now they will never enter my room ever), and then went upstairs to relax by myself. Well…first I took a shower of course. I mean, I may not be like that cliché prep girl who focuses on appearance but I wouldn't want to be with somebody who smelt like 3 day sweat.

After the shower and changing into my pajamas, I flipped on my TV before trying to find something to watch. Of course there wasn't anything really good locally at the moment so I decided to 'venture' into the realm of cable television.

How does a 15 year old girl have her own television with cable in her own room? Well where do you think some of the money I made from working at the Mystery Shack went to? Might look into saving up for a car one day, assuming I can pass my driver's ed course (that's a totally new adventure for another time).

Now let's see what's good to watch tonight?

Cheesy sci-fi movie about a planet full of talking squirrels? Not really digging it at the moment. Also looks a little nutty for my liking….did I just seriously make that pun? Have to write that one down for sure.

High school teen drama with unrealistic events that never happen in real life as well as the cast being well into their late 20s/early 30s? Pfft! There's no way a guy loses a girl and then gets her back through a drag race in a river canal. Seriously, what high schooler does that stupid crap?

One of those weird Japanese cartoons with 5 teenage girls who can transform into 'magic girls' named after planets? Ha, it looks so cheesy and silly. In fact I'll just memorize the channel and the time when the show comes on so I could make fun of it. Eh heh heh heh…heh…heh….

…..

Hey! Don't you judge me! I can have guilty pleasures like any other teenage girl!

*Ahem* Any who, let's see what else is on.

Seen it. Seen it. Read the clip notes of it. Don't feel like watching it. Not my cup of tea. Heard from the gang it's not worth watching. The book was better. Who cares about sports. Not really digging this show. I like sleeping tonight. Etc, etc, etc.

After what seemed like an eternity of channel surfing, I landed on this cartoon about a brother-sister alien duo solving mysteries with their old grumpy uncle and talking dog. Meh, I could use a good chuckle. Although they do look very familiar and that older alien girl with the red hair looks kind of like….like….like…you know what, they say television rots the mind. I think I should just call it a night and hit the hay a little bit earlier than usual.

I simply turned off the TV and changed into my usual pajamas. With a loud yawn, I hopped into bed and allowed myself to fall asleep. After all, a growing teenager needs her sleep. But as my eye lids were closing and I was drifting off into sleep, I just had this little nagging thought in the back of my mind that something weird was going to happen tomorrow. Whatever it may be, I'll just go with the flow and see it how it plays out. It's not like anything funky ever happens at Gravity Falls Lake anyways.

* * *

Harlic: *is with Poyo, rubbing his stomach with her right hand* Aww, what an adorable little guy you are. Who is mommy's adorable little guy?

Poyo: Hiya. :3

Harlic: That's right, you are.

ZeroFox: Hey, come on! I found him first and- *feels a cold breeze before seeing his right arm gone*-well, would you look at the time? I gotta get started on part two.


	7. Legend of the GobbleWonker 2

Wendy: *is busy watching Sailor Moon on the television* I can't believe I never got into this anime stuff earlier. Makes me wonder what else I've been missing all this time.

ZeroFox: *runs into the room screaming while being attacked by bees* AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Wendy: *mutes the TV* What the hell?

* _ **Earlier**_ *

ZeroFox: *outside tending to his herb garden* Wow, this was surprisingly very calming. *sees a little bee* Why hello little guy. Are you going to pollinate my basil? *sees the bee buzzing around him in a happy manner* Bees are my friend.

Dr. Bees: *standing on a random grassy knoll* What's this? A single bee that's pollinating all these flowers by itself? My vase full of bees should do the trick. *gets out a vase and releases the bees inside it*

ZeroFox: Wait…what's that sound? *gets swarmed by bees* AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* _ **Present**_ *

ZeroFox: *still getting attacked by bees* THE ARMOR! IT DOESN'T PROTECT ME FROM THE BEES! *runs out screaming* CUE THE DISCLAIMER! JUST CUE THE *PUCKING* DISCLAIMER ALREADY!

Wendy: *shrugs her shoulder while going back to watching TV*

Disclaimer: _THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFIT FANFICTION! GRAVITY FALLS AND ITS CHARACTERS BELONG TO ALEX HIRSCH AND DISNEY. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE!_

* * *

Snnn….Snnnnnn….Snnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

"Dude."

Snnnnnnnn….snrksd…..snrkghfgh…..snnnnnn

"Dudeeeeeeeeee…."

Snnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…

"Dudeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Snnnnnnnn…..huh….Soos?

"Dude, you need to wake up."

Huh…wha…what's going on?

"You're actually having one of those dreams where your subconscious takes the form of people you know and then puts you in an unworldly scenario that will ultimately cause you to experience a night terror."

Huh?

"Oh and, uh, you're also naked and in front of Dipper."

"Hi Wendy. Hot bod by the way."

…

…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

(* _ **Insert the Gravity Falls Intro Theme**_ *)

 **Chapter 4:**

 **Legend of the GobbleWonker p.2**

* * *

I immediately sat up on my bed, gasping and panting for air. Beads of cold sweat dripped down my face as I had this look of pure horror. I mean…my god….what….what…what a horrible nightmare. I was sleeping peacefully and then Soos appeared and then I was naked in front of Dorker (why did that last part even happen?!) and then…and then…Argh! I just looked over to my clock on my dresser just to see what time it was. It read 3:26 before turning to 3:27.

Ugh! I

An exasperated grunt (which if somebody listened carefully could make out a certain 3-letter combo) was uttered as I just feel back onto my bed, my eyes slowly closing in an attempt to go back to sleep. I just hope to never have another nightmare like that ever again. Especially one involving Dorker saying I look 'hot'. Brrr! (Note to self, never speak of this ever again to anybody).

With that being said and all…time to…*yawn*…time to fall bzzzzzzzzz…..

Snnnnnnnnnnnnnn….

"Dude…"

Snnnnnnnnrkkkkkkkkk….

"Dude!"

Wha-What?

…

Ah damn it, I'm having another nightmare. Although this time, I'm clothed in my usual flannel shirt and jeans (and no Dorker insight either). However standing in front of me was a beaver that had Soos' head on it.

Crap, it's another nightmare like before!

"Ha, nah. I'm just here to tell you to wake up."

"Okay? Why are you telling me to wake up in my dream?"

The Soos beaver was busy gnawing on some wood as I just facepalmed myself. What I was experiencing would constitute as a reason to go to see a therapist, a really good one too.

I then just swiped the wood away from the Soos beaver.

"Okay, tell me why are you in my dreams?"

"To tell you that you need to wake up."

I just raised my eyebrow in confusion.

"Wait…that's it?"

"Pretty much," replied the Soos beaver, "But in all honesty Wendy-"

"WAKE UP WENDY!"

"ACK! SON OF A BITCH!" I immediately woke up to the sound of my father screaming my name. Needless to say, I leapt out of bed but got tangled up in my blankets. Then well…gravity entered the equation in a very comical way. "I'M UP, I'M UP, I'M-*THUD*!"

Down goes Wendy, down goes Wendy. All I can say is that landing on your chest hurts (gonna need an ice pack later on). Nothing like falling out of your bed early in the morning to get things started.

While I'm gasping for air, groaning in pain my youngest brother, Thurman, knocked on my door.

"Hey Wendy, dad wants us downstairs pronto."

I then heard him walk away as I groan in pain.

"Thanks…Thanks for asking if I was okay," I grunted while slowly picking myself up.

I wobbled in my stance as I tried to get my bearings. Weird. I can shake off falling 7 feet from a tree but I get the wind knocked out of me from a 1½ foot fall from my bed. I looked over to my clock as I squint to see what time it was. 6:35 a.m. "Ughhhh…why so early?"

There was another knock on the door.

"Wendy, why aren't you downstairs?" asked a voice behind the door. I easily recognized it as my dad.

"Kind of in a situation here dad," I grunted, picking myself up off the ground.

"You need help getting up?"

"I'm good…I'm good." I immediately picked myself up and open up my door. Standing in front of me was my dad in his usual lumberjack outfit. However there was something different. He had his black waterproof boots, a fishing vest and hat on, a fishing pole in one hand and a large tackle box in the other.

"We're about to go fishing and I need my special fishing girl to teach the young ones how to fish like a Corduroy."

I just yawned, rubbing my eyes. "Actually…dad, I already made plans. Sorry but I won't be able to *yawn* make it."

"Oh, my bad," replied my dad. He then just rubbed my head. "Well I guess I'll get going then. See you later on." He then closed the door to my room before walking away.

Even if I wasn't fully awake, I could see that my dad seemed pretty disappointed I wasn't going with him. Maybe it's due to lack of sleep but you know…I actually felt kind of down. I mean, I know I made plans with Soos before my dad asked me to. But at the same time it's still family.

I just plopped back down on my bed, eyes slowly closing after my head made contact with the pillow. Well I guess I could meet up with my dad later on when I'm done hanging out with Soos. I mean, knowing my dad, he'd be out on that lake all day. Yeah. I'll join up afterwards But for now, time to get some shut-.

"Doo-Doo-Do-Doo-Doo Soos! Doo-Doo-Do-Doo-Doo Soos! Doo-Doo-Do-Doo-Doo Soos!"

My eyes immediately snapped wide open as my phone went off with an all too familiar ring tone. Well so much for trying to get some more sleep, let alone just making it to 7. I picked up my phone off the nightstand before answering. "Dude…" Insert a big yawn. "…do you have any…" Insert another yawn. "…idea what time it is?"

"My bad. I thought it was 7 already."

I just let out an angry groan as I nearly crushed my phone in my hand in frustration. Goddamn it people, let me sleep in! It's a weekend. Weekends were made for that….*sob*

"You still there Wendy?"

I simply put the phone to my ear. "Yeah, I'm still here Soos."

"Awesome. So I was hoping to get my boat to the lake early before anybody else."

"You're not gonna beat my family," I mumbled incoherently under my breath before clearing my throat, "Dude, could give me like 5 more minutes."

"And miss out on some awesome boating adventures?"

Wherever Soos gets his boundless energy from, I'm going to find it and burn it to the ground and cackle like a madwoman. Yup, that's how freaking pissed I was at the moment. Luckily since I was a good person (and pretty much had no chance of going back to sleep now), I decided that now was the best time or another to just get up.

"Okay dude but you're picking me up though."

"I'm already outside with the boat."

If this was real life, my eyes would have been the size of dinner plates and my jaw would be on the ground. I just rushed down the stairs, frantically sprinting to the front door to open it up and see….

"Ha ha, just kidding. I'm still at my house, hooking the boat up on my *click!*"

Damn it Soos! Not cool man, not cool at all….damn it, okay! It was impressive he got me good on that one. I then simply head back inside before going up to my room to change into my clothes.

Well actually I had to spend at least a few good minutes on what to wear. I mean, I couldn't exactly wear my usual flannel shirt and jeans. There could be the slightest possibility that I might fall into the lake and by fall into the lake, I mean I do a sweet cannonball off the bow of the boat. And I really don't want to wear anything too revealing because:

A. I don't exactly have the skin complexion to be lounging around in a bathing suit despite having the body for it (hey, let me self-indulge at least once in a while!)

B. Even when I try to darken my skin via sun tan, I end up burning baaaaaaaaaaad and wasn't in the mood to hear 'lobster girl' comments from idiots (especially that bitch Pacifica).

C. ….

…..

…..

…..Call me paranoid but I have this nagging feeling I might run into Dorker while out on the boat. He just seems to have this magnetism to me for one reason or another (IT'S NOT ROMANCE DAMN IT!).

Anyway, I decided to wear my bathing suit (it was a one piece thank fully), jean shorts (yeah…I had another pair…don't judge me), and a short-sleeved flannel button shirt. I figured it would be practical to wear it out on the boat. I also threw on an old pair of sneakers because have you ever tried biking with flip-flops? Let me tell you, it's not fun or easy.

So after getting on my clothes, I hopped on my bicycle and rode it to Soos place. The funny thing is that once you're up and that brisk air hits you, you immediately wake up. I should know, I pretty much do that for my job now…although it's not so brisk at the time I get up.

It took me about 10 minutes or so to reach Soos' place as I saw in the road his pickup truck. Hooked up to the back end was the boat as Soos was in the driver's seat. He then saw me pull up to his place on my bicycle, an exhausted look on my face.

"Hey, morning Ms. Sunshine. How are you?"

"Ms. Sunshine needs her coffee," I replied back, yawning loudly.

"Sure thing, hop on in. We'll grab some coffee along the way if you want. Oh, you can leave your bike in my yard."

I just hopped off my bike, escorting it through the front gate of Soos' house before locking it up onto a bush in his backyard. Why a bush you may ask? Well...when you don't have a cup of coffee to wake you up, you tend to do more…err…'careless' things. So with the deed being done already, I hopped into Soos' truck, shut the door behind me, adjusted my hat, and-

"Don't forget to put on your seatbelt."

*Sigh* I then pulled the seatbelt over my shoulder, putting it into the buckle as I sat back in the seat, as Soos started up the engine and we were on our-

"Just give me a minute dude. Gotta find the right tunes."

…

"Hmm…nah, not feeling rock at the moment. Hold on…Ha, like who listens to sports radio early in the morning…hold on…hold on…aha ha. Sweet!"

"Dude…Kanye West? Really?"

"What? This beat is pretty catchy. Just gotta let it grow on you."

Okay…maybe it's due to the lack of sleep but that beat is starting to sound catchy. So anyways, after Soos got his station on, we were going to-

"Whoops. Almost forgot to check the mirrors to see if they are properly adjusted. Safety first as I always say."

Ugh! So after all that and then some (Soos felt it was necessary to see if his truck had oil in it) we were about to head out onto the-

"Let me just check to see if the boat is secured properly."

…

So a funny debate entered my mind. Do I: A. Lose my mind and flip out due to the lack of caffeine in my body or B. Take the diplomatic approach. After factoring many things, it was time to make the final decision.

"Yo dude, I don't want to be that person but if we don't hurry up, we'll get over swarmed by like everybody who wants to go to Gravity Falls Lake today. It would be a total pain trying to navigate through the parking lot and I don't want to see your boat get like ruined and stuff."

Soos then looked at me, a big smile on his face. "Wow, never thought about it like that. Well the good news is that everything is all set."

Yes! Finally we're getting somewhere. Time to get this day started. So Soos started up the engine, shifted gears, backed out of the driveway, and we were about to be on our way to Gravity Falls Lake. But before that, something had to be address.

"Hey, could we get some coffee along the way?"

"Ha ha, I'm good thanks. Had some before you got here. Boy, nothing like a good cup of coffee to start the day."

….

Meanwhile in the town of North Salem in Westchester County, New York, was a mansion as in the kitchen, two men (one with thick black hair with pointed tips at the end and one completely bald) were busy having breakfast (the bald man eating a bowl of cereal and the other man reading the paper and smoking a cigar).

Out of nowhere, the bald man held his head in agony with his left hand as the other man looked at him.

"What's the matter Chuck?"

The bald man felt the pain subside as he shook his head. "I can't place my finger on it Logan but I just heard the loudest mental shriek just a few seconds ago."

The other man just puffed out a cloud of smoke before going back to reading his paper. "Them Lucky Charms are poisoning your brain Chuck. Making you hear things."

Back in Gravity Falls, Oregon

So it turns out that I was going to be without the much needed and sweet nectar…THAT HELPS KEEP ME SANE! Ok…maybe that was a little dramatic but you get the idea. So I tried to take a small nap since Gravity Falls Lake was at least half an hour away. But unfortunately…it was a bumpy ride. Like every time I was about to fall asleep for a quick power nap….

*BUMP*

Ugh…that happened (seriously, that was like the tenth time that happened!). So after that happened a few times, I welcomed the embrace of not falling asleep for the rest of the day. Also after the fourth attempt, I had come to accept that sleep was no longer an option.

"Dude, just another 5 more miles till we get there. Oh man, I can't wait."

Yup, definitely no longer an option. So we just casually drove down the road, still listening to the tunes on the radio. We would see an occasional sign for Gravity Falls Lake (insert miles) ahead as I simply yawned (really could have used that coffee). It wasn't long until we final saw the sign for Gravity Falls Lake parking entrance. The parking lot wasn't full per say (thank goodness) but it wouldn't surprise me that within the next hour or so it would be packed.

"All right, let's get this puppy in the water," said Soos, driving over to the area where people were unloading their own boats.

Once there, we found a spot to unload as I just hopped out of the car. I couldn't help myself but just stare across the lake, seeing the morning sun caste its rays on the surface of the water. It just looked so amazing, almost like poetry of some kind (yeah, definitely could have used that cup of coffee). But as I was lost in my own thoughts, I couldn't help but feel like I needed to pay attention to something. Something very important.

"Backing up dude. Say when to stop."

OH SHIT!

"WHEN! WHEN! WHEN! WHEN! WHEN! WHEN!"

*Puck* that was a close call. Almost screwed that one up bigtime.

See when unloading a boat into the water, it's a good idea to have a person guide you in that way you don't A. Damage the boat and B. Water log the vehicle you are using (I've seen a few YouTube videos of that happening so I know what I am talking about).

So, after a careful discussion and some quick planning, we were slowly getting the boat into the water. I would guide Soos into the water and then once the boat was at least in deep enough water, we would both unhook it from the truck and boom. Simple, right?

The operation went smoothly as can be as I carefully waved Soos back towards me. It was fine except one variable that I could not predict happened.

"Well, what do we have going on here?" asked an all-too-familiar voice.

I just mentally shudder and muttered a few 'choice words' under my breath as I turn to see none other than Pacifica with her clique of friends on...a yacht. A yacht that dwarfed our boat in both size and appearance (pretty sure it was her parents anyways).

"Well we're obviously busy getting our boat into the water…a-duh," I replied back as Soos just waved.

"Ain't she a beauty?" he added, a proud smile on his face.

Pacifica just did that snooty laugh right at us (you know, the 'I'm better than you' snooty laugh). "You call that a boat? Puh-lease. It looks like a cheap bathroom toy boat."

"Actually, I modeled it after my toy tug boat," explained Soos; "I even used the same matching color scheme. Pretty sweet huh?"

For a moment, Pacifica got a stunned look on her face from the fact that Soos got the kibosh on her insult (way to go Soos!). But like any rich, bitchy brat, she had a plan B waiting in the wings.

Luckily…so did we.

"Hey Pacific Ocean!"

Insert a very loud growl of anger by you-know-who (heh, she hates being called that)

"Are you done? We need you to move daddy's toy out of the way."

Pacifica just scowled before brushing a strand of hair out her face. "Whatever! You just better hope your boat doesn't sink in the lake." Her scowl then turned into a smug grin. "But for you, I guess that would count as taking a bath for you."

"Whoa, gonna need a burn heal for that one," said Soos as I shoot him a 'THAT'S NOT HELPING THE SITUATION SOOS!' look.

"Later losers!"

We both then see Pacifica and her yacht take off to another part of the lake as I just calmly try to tell myself that no court will accept the 'She had it coming' defense for murder. But I ended up slipping one sentence out that would make my dad lecture me on etiquette (Hint, the words *puck* and *runt* were used quite a bit).

Soos then popped his head out the window to look at me. "You two need to hug it out and get rid of all that negativity."

I rolled my eyes. "There's no chance in hell that will ever happen. I rather would kiss Dipper than 'hug it out' with that fake blonde bitch."

….

….

….

….Did I just say what I thought I just said? DID I JUST SAY WHAT I THOUGHT I SAID?! OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST UTTERED THOSE WORDS OUT OF MY MOUTH! *HERK!* I think I'm gonna hurl. I think I'm gonna…gonna…*Her-bleugghhhh!*

"Yeesh, we better take 5," said Soos, wincing a bit at the sight, "Good think we didn't stop for food. Be a waste."

So after a finished vomiting (don't judge me), Soos and I got the boat on the water. Of course Soos parked the truck before anything else because…duh. Once on the water, it was just soaking in the rays. Soos had a captain hat on and was manning the steering wheel while I was sitting on the cooler in the back (we had our life vests on for all those wondering safety nuts out there).

"Hey Wendy, check this out. Guess who I am."

Soos then started to whistle loudly and tapping his foot randomly.

"I…have no clue dude."

"Call me Steamboat Soos."

Okay, that reference flew way over my head faster than a peregrine falcon dive bombing out of the sky at 200 mph or 320 km/h and…and…and where the hell did that come from (seriously could have used that coffee).

"Hey Wendy hold on, here comes the fun part!"

"Wait, what-HOLY SHIT!"

Out of nowhere, Soos decided it be funny to give the steering wheel a giant spin to the right like they do in the cartoons. However unlike in the cartoons where the steering wheel only spun, the boat violently spun around in a circle and I was nearly thrown out of the boat. I did end up crashing onto the deck before woozily standing up.

"Ugh…not…not cool dude," I weakly groaned, "And why is everything so diz-*HERGH!*"

Oh boy…ugh…my…stomach…I think I'm…I'm gonna hurl. Yup, definitely gonna hurl again. I quickly scanned around to find a place to blow chunks on the boat before randomly seeing a wooden barrel at the back of the boat (how did I miss that?). So like any sane teenager I ran over to the barrel, cocked my head back, and-

"Dude! You can't blow chunks in there. That's the monster bait!" called out Soos.

"What…*HERGH*…are…*HERGH*…*HERGH*!"

I couldn't hold it in any longer as I just went over to the edge of the boat and proceeded to vomit into the water. It seemed like us Corduroys were not really meant to travel on the high seas or be on something faster than a rowboat. All the while, Soos listened on and winced with each heave of mine.

"I guess doing that again is out of the question, huh."

A glare sent his way probably signified that yes, spinning the boat like that was out of the question for good. I reached into the cooler to grab a water to rinse my mouth from the remnants of last night's dinner in my mouth. After a few minutes to regain my composure, I had to ask the burning question.

"How and why do we have 'monster bait' on the boat?"

"Well," explained Soos, "After you left, I took a trip to the store to stock up on supplies and like life vests and stuff. Then I saw Old Man Jenkins babble about a sea monster in the lake. Was kind of curious because I thought sea monsters lived in the sea."

Nope, not even going to make a comment on that one.

"So I bought a barrel to see if there was monster in Gravity Falls Lake."

I looked in the barrel to get a better look of the contents inside.

"They look like giant fish flakes." I shrugged my shoulders. "Hopefully you got your money's worth."

"It was a bargain! $20 for the whole barrel after I bought this sweet captain hat," replied Soos, pointing to his captain hat.

It essentially looked like a pirate's hat except Soos somehow plastered a question mark over where the original Jolly Roger was. But if it makes the guy happy, why rain on his parade. Am I right folks?

So anyway, we were on the lake in out boat. The sun was beaming down with an occasion cool breeze wafting pass us (that is the correct way to use that word right? Man, should have paid attention that time in English instead of playing video games on my calculator). Yeah, today was perfect. Hmm, I wonder what we should do first. Should we start fishing? Or how about checkout ScuttleButt Island. Or how about-

"Ahoy Pines family!"

….*sigh* god damn it.

See apparently while I was mentally planning out my day, I failed to notice Soos had spotted the Pines family on one of the lake docks. Then like a moth drawn to candlelight, he guided the boat over to them. Well I guess my Saturday got ruined with the sounds of…

"Hey Soos."

"Hiya Soos!"

"Soos, what the heck are you wearing on your head?"

Then they turned their attention to me.

"Hi Wendy!"

"Um…hi…Wendy…"

"What's up with you Corduroy? You look like you saw a ghost and then puked up your lunch."

"Nice to see-*hrgh*…*urghf*!"

Curious what just happened? Well my stomach was still feeling reeling from earlier and then I got that pit queasiness feeling from seeing the Pines family (well mostly from seeing Dipper…I don't need to explain why). So combine those things together and well…everybody got to watch me hunch over the side and proceeded to blow chunks.

"Sweet Sally, that didn't sound too good," commented Mabel, cringing from the sight and sound.

Soos, completely changing the mood, looked at the Pines family. "So what brings you guys out here?"

"Hunting the Gobblewonker," blurted out Dipper, only to get his head bopped with a fishing pole.

"Stop it with that monster hunt gibberish," scolded Stan, "We're here for family time. Besides, I got us all fishing poles, hats, and the most important thing of all…live bait!"

Now they say that timing is everything in every scenario. No sooner had I finished up, still feeling woozy and queasy from puking, I pulled my head up to look back at everybody. No sooner had I did that, Stan had opened up his fishing tacklebox to show everybody his 'live bait.' Judging from Mabel and Dipper's reactions, it didn't look or smell pretty. Then a cool breeze just happened to blow by and whisk the smell right in my face. I got a good whiff of it (by the way, it smelled like rotting fish that cuddled up with a skunk fart!) and well…I was back over the side, proceeding to 'feed the fish' yet again.

Soos just smiled. "Well Wendy and I were about to go on our own monster hunt as well." He then turned to me. "Isn't that right dude?"

Technically he wasn't right or wrong. So I just gave a thumbs up in response since my mouth was preoccupied at the moment (wow…that didn't sound sexual at all. Gotta work on phrasing next time).

Stan just rolled his eyes in an annoyed manner. "I can't believe you guys actually believe in that crap Old Man McGucket was spouting about just 5 minutes ago. Literally, it was 5 minutes ago."

Dipper and Mabel just nodded their heads as Stan facepalmed himself.

"Fine. You know what, you have two choices. You can gallivant around like a bunch of loonies."

"But we're not really toonie though," piped in Soos.

"Not now Soos!" barked Stan before looking at the twins, "Like I said, you can gallivant around like a bunch of loonies trying to catch some fictional monster that a crazy hillbilly just made up. Or you can hang out with your dear ol' Grunkle Stan and be fishing buddies." He then followed it up with a big grin, pretty much confident that they would choose him.

Well needless to say they didn't. Both Mabel and Dipper hopped into boat boat as they began to chant loudly, 'Gobblewonker! Gobblewonker! Gobblewonker!' along with Soos. Soos then drove away from the dock as a mixed look of anger and resentment was on Stan's face since his Saturday plans just went up in flames (you're not alone in that feeling dude).

After some time had passed, my stomach had calmed down and returned to normal. as we just floated on the water. To pass the time, I decided to do a little of my own fishing. I grabbed a rod and some of the monster bait before casting my line into the water. For a while, things were very peaceful. I mean Soos was trying to talk to Dipper about something which enthralled the kid for some odd reason (get out much?) and Mabel was…was…oh no….

"Hey Wendy, whattca doing?" she beamed, just inches from my ear.

Well crap. There goes my peaceful fishing. Also, does anybody hear a telephone ringing?

"Fishing. It's supposed to be relaxing," I calmly replied.

"Oh ok," said Mabel, sitting down next to me.

A few minutes passed as it seemed like this could work out. I mean, she's not really bothering me and-

"Catch anything yet?"

Spoke too soon….

"No. I just caste the line a little while ago. It's gonna take some time. That's the relaxing part."

"Oh…got it." Insert a few more minutes passing as the female Pines just let out that annoyed sigh. "Ugh…so bored right now."

I just facepalmed myself before mentally coaching myself to try to relax and enjoy my Saturday. At first it seemed to work. But then out of nowhere, I heard this little blooping sound. It sounded like something was falling into the water but we were practically in the middle of the lake…and…and…

I immediately spun my head around to look at Dipper and Soos, who were trying to hide something behind their back. Then I saw a small rock fall out from behind Soos' back as he kicked it under the steering wheel to try and hide it. It wasn't too hard to make the connection of what they were doing. The hard part was trying not to throw them all overboard. *Sigh*….whatever…guess the fishing aspect of today has official been ruined.

So I casually reeled in my line to see nothing on it (gee, I wonder why that was) before going over to place the fishing pole with the other ones. I calmly just sat on the edge of the boat, a big grin on my face. It wasn't the cheerful grin, oh no. It was the grin you make to mask the fact you want to murder EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE BASTARDS FOR RUINING WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A PEACEFUL DAY-oh wow, where did that come from? Any who, I just cleared my throat and looked at everybody.

"So now that we're done fishing, what do you guys want to do now?"

No sooner had I asked that did Dipper's face light up like he was a kid in a candy store.

"Let's look for the Gobblewonker!"

Oh brother, I still can't get over how dumb that name sounds (even if it was just a little while ago that I just heard about it). I mean it's not a name like the Loch Ness Monster or what not but still…Gobblewonker? Yeesh.

Mabel just looked at her brother with a precarious look. "You sure about that bro-bro? I mean even though we just heard it from that weird hillbilly guy with the Santa Claus beard-"

Well that's one way to describe McGucket in a nice manner.

"-it still sounds pretty dangerous."

Dipper just waved his hand to dismiss what his sister just said to him.

"Some of the greatest explorers in history were faced with great danger and peril on their journey and looked what they accomplished. Remember guys, no sacrifice, no victory."

Nice speech general. Way to-wait a minute. Where did I hear that before speech? It's so familiar. Where? Where? Where? Ugh…it's gonna bother me for the longest time now. Don't you hate it when that happens?

"You in Soos?" asked Dipper.

"Anywhere you go dude, I will be there to follow," replied Soos.

Mabel then giggled. "Well I'm in. Can't let you two hog all the fun."

Ugh! Where did I hear that quote?! Think! Think…I got it!

"How about you Wendy?"

"Archibald Witwicky said it to his crew in the first Transformers movie before he fell into that ice crevice and discovered Megatron. That's where I heard that from."

"Um…that's interesting," coughed Dipper, "So um, are you in as well?"

"Huh? Oh sure, why not. Just don't get me killed or in trouble with Stan," I casually replied, obliviously not paying attention when I should have.

"Deal," said Dipper, a big grin on his face.

"…..wait…what did I just agree to?"

Dipper then cracked his knuckles, completely ignoring me, and had a big grin on his face. "Glad we could all agree on that." He then cleared his throat. "Okay people, if we are going to go on this monster hunt we gotta go over a few things."

And this suddenly feels like a field trip now with Dorker as the guidance counselor (the funny part is that I could totally picture that as his job when he grows up).

"First, what's the number one problem that people have with hunting monsters?" he asked.

Soos raised his hand. "If you're a side character, you die within the first 5 minutes." His eyes then went wide as dinner plates after he said that. "Dude, am I a side character? You guys ever think about stuff like that?" He then began to tremble as Mabel patted his back.

"You're not a side character, you're a main character in this episode," she casually said, calming down our adult friend.

"Phew, that's a relief."

Why do I have a funny feeling something was just broken here?

"And Wendy's a love interest as well."

…did…did Mabel just say what I think she just said?

"No you guys," said Dipper in an annoyed tone, "It's lack of hard evidence." Dipper then turned to Soos. "Hey Soos, pretend that you're Bigfoot."

"I'm actually a size 10.5. It's not really that big."

Mabel just giggled, I snickered, and Dipper facepalmed himself.

"It's just pretend Soos."

"Oops, my bad," replied Soos before clearing his throat. He then bunched over and pretended to saunter a bit, taking one step forward before pausing and turning to look at us.

"Oh gosh, it's Bigfoot!" exclaimed Dipper in a very fake touristy voice, "Oh wow, I can't believe it!"

"Eek! Bigfoot!" shrieked Mabel, freaking everybody out with her high pitch. She was then sent a dirty look her way. "What, I was trying to add more to the affect. Did it work?"

Insert a small groan and another facepalm by Dipper.

"Yes it did," he replied in a sarcastic tone, "Any who, back to the scenario." He then began to pat his pockets as if he were trying to find something. "Oh no, I don't have a camera on me. I can't get hard, photographic evidence of Bigfoot…See, See what I did there guys? You understand what I'm trying to get at?"

Two nods and a half-ass thumbs up was the response.

"Now luckily I came prepared for this trip. He then placed down a backpack he was carrying the whole time down onto the boat before reaching inside it. Dipper then pulled out a bunch of disposable cameras for us to see. "I got 24 disposable cameras. They're waterproof so you don't need to worry about them getting a little wet." He then handed us some cameras. "Here you go, here's a few cameras for each of you."

"Thanks dude," thanked Soos.

"I'm gonna take sooooooo many pictures," laughed Mabel.

"Where did you get the money for all these?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"It's nothing to worry about," replied Dipper, completely brushing me off (bastard) before looking at all of us, "There's 4 for you guys and I'll have the rest on me."

Before we could say or do anything, Soos somehow took a picture but ended up pointing the flash into his eyes. With one yelp, he threw the camera into the lake before rubbing his eyes.

Dipper just did that chuckle that you make to mask some sort of frustration you were feeling. "Ah no worries. We still got 23 cameras left."

Out of nowhere, a bird swooped down at Mabel to try and take the sparkly hair clip out of her hair. So like a normal human being….Mabel threw the camera at the bird. She missed and it went into the lake with a loud 'ploop' sound.

"Okay…Okay…now 22 cameras," said Dipper, "You guys can't get rid of the cameras just like that, ok?"

"Get rid of the cameras?" asked Soos.

"Ye-NO!"

"Whoops. I just got rid of mine just now." Soos then pointed to the remaining 3 cameras that were in his position now in the water and sinking under the surface.

"Argh!"

Then another bird swooped in on Mabel.

"ACK! BIRD!"

And just like last time, she hucked another camera and it went into the lake.

"Stop throwing the camera!" exclaimed an exasperated Dipper.

"But these birds keep coming after me," replied Mabel.

"Take out the hair clip!"

"Oh…that makes sense." Mabel just unclipped her hair clip and put it in her pocket.

I couldn't help but grin at the sight. I mean, Dipper was totally gonna flip his lid. Maybe I should record this for a funny video.

"Okay people," sighed Dipper, trying to regain his composure, "We can't just throw away the cameras so carelessly. We only got 18-" *CRACK* *SMASH* "17…17 cameras left."

For the record, that smash and crack sound was due to Dipper unknowingly hitting a camera on top of the cooler with his fist, breaking it into pieces (either these things are flimsy as hell or he doesn't know his own strength. Going with the former).

"Should we get rid of them then?" asked Mabel, holding her cameras over the boat. They were immediately swiped away from her possession.

"No more dumping or destroying cameras!" exclaimed Dipper. He then placed the cameras on the cooler before looking at us. "Repeat after me, no more dumping or destroying-*CRACK* *SNAP*…cameras. *sigh* 16 cameras left now."

By the way, he accidentally stepped on a camera that fell off (heh heh heh).

Dipper then rubbed his temples, taking a deep breath before regaining his composure. "Okay, now that the camera situation is taken care of, let's move onto the next order of business: naming the captain of this expedition." He then grinned. "After all, you need a good leader to navigate such an arduous expedition."

I just sighed as I knew where this road was heading to.

"That's why I nominate myself as captain of this expedition."

"Oh gee, who saw that coming," I muttered under my breath.

"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!" babbled Mabel, raising her hand, "I nominate myself as co-captain."

Now that I didn't see coming. Judging by that furrowed brow on Dipper's face, he didn't either or he knew but he wanted to be in charge.

"Mabel, you can't be co-captain. A monster hunt doesn't have co-captains on-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

The sound of an object plopping into the water sent Dipper into a panic mode as we all saw Mabel holding the bag of cameras in her position and another camera over the edge. "What were you saying about a monster hunt not having co-captains?" (my respect for Mabel has now shot up even more).

Dipper gulped nervously. "Well in the past there wasn't but with today's modern progressive society, there have been an increase in female co-captains on ships and expeditions."

"Glad we could have this discussion," was the response as Mabel placed the remaining 15 cameras on the cooler.

"Ooh, can I be the Associate to the Co-Captains?" asked Soos.

"Sure. Fine. Whatever!" grumbled Dipper.

"You got it Soos. Or should I say Associate to the Co-Captains Soos! Heh heh," giggled Mabel.

Dipper then turned to look at me. "You want to be-"

"I'm good," I replied. I already had my entertainment fill of Dipper stressing out like crazy. I'll just let him have his fun for the rest of the day.

But before we could do anything, a quick gust of wind blew and knocked off Dipper's hat into the water just yards away from the boat.

"Crap, my hat!" exclaimed Dipper.

Then he did by far the dumbest thing I have seen him do in the very short time I knew him. We all watched as Dipper took out his wallet and throw it to the ground before jumping into the lake to swim after his hat. I mean, it's just a *pucking* hat! In fact, it's those dumb hats that you see in the shack (even though he looks cute in the….NO! GET OUT YOU BAD THOUGHTS! UGH! GROSS! EW!)

"Dipper what are you doing?!" cried out Mabel.

"I'm getting my hat!" responded Dipper.

"But you can't swim, remember!"

"Oh…right…*BLUP* *COUGH* HELP!"

There was no time to react or get over there. Dipper was about to sink like a stone to the bottom of the lake. So I did the most logical thing for that scenario. I just took out my cell phone and wallet, placed it on the cooler, kicked off my sandals, ran to the side, and dove into the water.

I just swam after Dipper, seeing him start to go under more and more frequent. By the time I got to him, he started to sink as I took a deep breath and went after him. Thankfully he didn't sink too far as I pulled his head back up to the surface. By that time, Soos had guided the boat to our location. I handed Dipper off to Soos and Mabel, who hoisted him out of the water. Then his hat floated by as I just swiped it, biting on the cap brim to hold on as Soos then hoisted me out of the water.

Mabel laid Dipper as she then began to fret. "He's not breathing! He's not breathing! Does anybody know C-"

Now in the past I actually took a physical education class (or two) in which we learned how to do CPR. Since I am very active in physical sporting activities and like to fish with my family from time to time, I felt like it was very necessary to learn and pay attention during those said classes. Fast forward to right now as it was *gulp* time to put what I learned to good use.

I just got down as I began to sweat and gulp nervously. It's not that I'm afraid of failing or anything. It's just the fact that I was about to give Dipper…mouth…to…*hergh*…mouth. But if I wuss out, then Stan would literally freak out if his great nephew drowned. So I did a few chest compressions before taking a deep breath and proceeded to place my lips onto Dipper's lips and…and….

…..

…..

DAMN IT, WHY DID HIS LIPS HAVE TO BE SO SOFT AND WARM?! (I think we even touched tongues! ACK! ECK! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!)

I immediately pulled back and did another chest compression before going back to…to…

…..

…..

…WHY DO THEY FEEL EVEN SOFTER THAN THE FIRST TIME?!

To make matters worse for me, Dipper regain conscious while my mouth was on his mouth. He then ended up coughing whatever water he had swallowed…into…my…mouth…

So like a sane teenager, I just ran to the edge of the boat while screaming 'OH GOD, I JUST SWALLOWED SLOPPY SECOND WATER!" before leaning over the side to throw up yet again (OH DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! I WOULD LOVE TO SEE HOW YOU'D REACT IF YOU HAD SOMEBODY'S BACKWASH GET HACKED INTO YOUR MOUTH!).

Dipper then rolled onto his side, hacking up more water as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Ugh…what…what…hap-"

"YOU'RE ALIVE!" squealed Mabel, hugging her brother tightly. She then bopped him on the head. "Don't do anything so reckless like that! What if you drowned? Grunkle Stan, Mom, and Dad would have a *pucking* cow!"

Dipper just lowered his head. "Sorry. I just didn't want to lose the hat Grunkle Stan gave me. That's all." He then also looked at Mabel. "Also, watch your language."

Mabel just laughed. "Ha, looks like you're back to normal now."

Soos then looked at him.

"Dude, you should have seen Wendy! She was like *woosh* and like *bwah* and she just like swam and rescued you like a Baywatch lifeguard."

I poked my head up as I had an uneasy look on my face. "I did what now?"

"And the piece de resistance," added Mabel as she got this little cheeky grin on her face, "While you were on the boat, she proceeded to give you a ki-"

"CPR!" I barked, my cheeks becoming redder than my hair, "IT WAS CPR, NOT A KISS! IT DOESN'T COUNT!" (For the record, it didn't count! My first kiss was not with that little twerp…wait, did I just refer to Dipper as twerp? That was completely random)

Dipper just looked at me and did a small smile. "Thanks for saving me Wendy. Sorry I got you all wet."

"Just don't do that again," I replied, trying to save face after that little outburst.

"Dude, your nose is bleeding," said an observant Soos, thus ruining that attempt.

Mabel then just clapped her hands together, a smile on her face. "Okay, now that's behind us. Let's hunt for the Gobble-*GRORWL*!" She was cut off by a loud growl before giggling. "Well I think there's a monster we need to take care of right now, isn't that right Mr. Tummy." She then held her stomach, giving it a voice as if it were talking; "That's right Mabel, you gotta defeat me with food right now."

I admit, that was good for a chuckle give the circumstances.

"Well I came prepared," said Soos, opening up the cooler we had been using as a table, "Who wants a tuna sandwich?"

So after we had our lunch and seeing Soos try to eat some monster bait (I have no idea why he did that or why he asked permission to), we were going to officially start looking for the Gobblewonker. But the big question (other than what did this Gobblewonker thing look like) was where to find it. I mean, Gravity Falls Lake is pretty big so there is a lot of ground to cover. So we pretty much spent at least over half an hour just traveling around the lake.

Of course, Dipper had to be the one to lead the way and reading the map (who saw that coming said nobody sane ever).

"We've been at this for half an hour," he said, "Where's a good place to look?"

"Dude, I think I know where we could check out," I replied, gaining the full attention of everybody, "You guys ever hear of Scuttlebutt Island?"

There was a brief moment as Mabel and Soos were busy snickering from me saying the word 'Scuttlebutt' (heh heh heh heh…okay, it does sound funny now that I hear it).

I just cleared my throat before continuing on. "Well Scuttlebutt Island is one of the few islands in Gravity Falls Lake. In fact it's like the largest out of all of them (well it looks big on the map). They say there's a bunch of rocks and debris from sunken ships around it, plus it has a fog around the island that is thick even when it's sunny outside."

The twins and Soos were hanging on to every word I was saying as I couldn't help but grin.

"They say that weird things have happened on that island, supernatural things." Dipper was soon honed in on that part. "If I were a betting girl, I say that's where we should start."

Dipper then looked over to Soos. "Soos, take us to Scuttlebutt Island!"

"I co-tell you to take us to Scuttlebutt Island," pipped in Mabel.

"And I associated to co-tell me to take us to Scuttlebutt Island," added Soos. (I'm gonna be honest, I did not catch nor did I understand what the hell Soos just said.)

So we made our way to Scuttlebutt Island. Dipper was busy going over what he was going to do when he landed on shore, Mabel was busy at the bow of the boat acting like a lookout (she volunteered for that), Soos was busy steering the boat, and myself…well…I...I was going over in my mind how to burn/erase the memory of giving CPR to Dipper (don't judge me, it was very traumatic!).

Then a fog started to set in, indicating that we were closing in on Scuttlebutt Island. The air became a little heavy and cold as our boat navigated through the rocks and wreckage of many boats. I admit I was feeling a little tense due to how many wrecked boats we had passed by (seriously, I counted like over a dozen).

Dipper then turned to Mabel. "Okay, call out when we're close to-"

He was then cut off when the boat ran aground on something, flinging him off the boat and onto a sandy beach.

"-shore."

Mabel then peeked over as she looked at her brother. "You okay bro-bro?"

"I'm okay. I landed on my back so my spine absorbed the shock," was the response.

"Oh by the way, we're close to shore," added Mabel.

"Thanks Mabel," groaned Dipper, slowly picking himself up off the sand.

I admit, I was biting my bottom lip and pinching my right arm to prevent myself from just falling over and laughing loudly at what just happened. I mean, you'd do the same right?

Soos dropped anchor as he, Mabel, and I hopped off the boat and onto the sandy beach. All four of us then looked ahead to stare into the forest. It was pretty dense with trees and various bushes and the fog didn't exactly create a warm and welcoming feeling either.

"Dude, I bet this is how the explorers of old felt when they came across the unknown wilderness," noted Soos, "Ohh, squirrel!"

Now I could tell Dipper was feeling a little tense. Maybe it was the way he was fidgeting or looking around. But whatever the reason was, it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up.

"Hey, I think the Captain should be the one to lead the way on this expedition."

"I co-agree with that!" exclaimed Mabel.

"I associate co-agree," added Soos.

We all then turned to face Dipper as he just did a big gulp. He then cleared his throat, fixed his hat, and then took a deep breath to regain some form of courage.

"V-V-V-V-Very well! I'll l-l-l-l-lead," he stammered out, walking in front of us. He then randomly turned to look at me. "By the way Wendy, you should go see a doctor or change your diet to fix those frequent nosebleeds."

UGH! WHY BODY, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!

So we began walking down a dirt path that seemed like it was well traversed. Dipper was leading the way, Soos and Mabel took the middle, and yours truly took the rear and was busy trying to make sure her *pucking* nose stopped bleeding.

While we were walking, I started to feel less tense and more and more at ease with my surroundings. Why shouldn't I? I mean, out of everybody in the group I had the most outdoor experience. In fact, if anything I should be the one leading the group. I mean, I know the lay of the land (sort of in this case) and I know what to do should we come across like a wild animal (hopefully that doesn't happen).

But before I was going to speak up, I got a sudden chill down my spine.

"Brrr…are you guys getting the feeling that we're being watched?" I asked out loud.

"I didn't want to bring it up earlier because it would freak the group out but I think we are being watched," whispered Soos, pointing behind us.

We all looked up to see this random hawk perched on a nearby tree branch. It just gave us a dirty look before…before…I'm sorry but did that bird just do the "I'm Watching You" gesture with its wing? Okay…I think I'm slowly going insane either due the amount of nausea I experienced plus loss of blood from the frequent nose bleeds.

So after that was over with, we continued on walking for a bit before coming across a sign nailed to a large tree. It read 'Scuttlebutt Island'.

"Perhaps a park ranger placed it up there," said Dipper.

"I hope he or she got a raise for it," commented Mabel.

Soos then walked over to the sign. He then covered up the 'Scuttle' portion with his right arm. "Check it out. Butt Island."

"Oh Soos, you rapscallion," giggled Mabel.

"Ha, nice one," I laughed.

"Heh, that explains the weird odor," added Dipper, causing all of us to just erupt in laughter.

So after our little second of laughter, we continued on our way. Somehow the lineup changed as Mabel and Soos were in front and Dipper and I were in the rear.

Along the way, there were a few bugs that were biting and what not. Dipper was busy smacking away some flies.

"Ergh. Should have brought bug spray."

Out of nowhere, he saw a fly land on my back. He then got this brilliant idea of 'Hey, let's smack that fly,' and well…he went through with it. Needless to say, it got my attention. Without even thinking, I turned and grabbed Dipper by his shirt collar and got in his face.

"Dude, what the hell is your problem?!"

"There was a fly on your back."

A part of me did believe him but let's be honest folks, you'd get pissed if somebody randomly smacked your back.

"If I had a fly on my back, I'd take care of it! I don't need you to smacking it as hard as you could, okay?!"

"Duly noted."

I let go of Dipper as he gulped nervously before walking up ahead of me.

I simple just let out an angry sigh before-YEOWHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Are you okay?" asked Mabel.

"I think a bee just stung my butt," I replied, rubbing my left cheek, "Dang, that's smarts!" Note, I was trying not to swear. But with the pain and the humiliation, it was very hard not to- "Good, this was worse when Tambry hit me with that *pucking* rattail after gym class." Whoops, heh heh. Guess that slipped out.

"Maybe you should let Dipper kiss it to m-" joked Soos, only to get interrupted.

"NO!" shouted Dipper and I (wow…that was one of the few times we agreed on something during this entire ordeal).

Dipper then walked over and got a large stick before handing it to me.

"Here, use this. It should help take off any weight off your left leg."

"Thanks," I reluctantly said, taking the stick.

"We could stop for you to recuperate," offered Dipper.

"Nah, it's ok. I'll make it," I replied before walking ahead of him. I could hear Mabel whisper something to Dipper, who just replied with an 'I'm just trying to help, that's all!' response. I made sure nobody could see but I had a small smile on my face from all that (that and my cheeks were a little red and I…um…well…MOVING ON!).

We all continued on the path, still looking for this Gobbleywonk or whatever it was called. Dipper and Mabel were walking ahead as they were busy discussing something about prize money and what not (I didn't feel like asking because I didn't want to know), I was in the middle with my walking stick, and Soos was taking up the rear.

We walked.

We walked.

We walked.

We….walked.

More walking…

More….more…walking…

"GRARGH! WE'VE BEEN WALKING OVER THIS STUPID ISLAND FOR LIKE THE ENTIRE TIME! WHERE THE HELL IS THIS TROUBLEHOCKEY!" I shouted, finally snapping.

"A. Language," replied Dipper, "B. It's pronounced Gobblewonker. And C. WHERE THE CRAP IS-"

Before Dipper could finish his own freakout, we all heard a loud growling sound echoing through the misty air.

"Wh-Wh-Wh-What was that?" stammered Dipper, "Is that a cougar or a bear or a wild animal?"

"Maybe it's our stomachs again," said Mabel.

"Nah, not mine," replied Soos, "Mine actually sounds like whales."

We all curiously leaned over to Soos' stomach to listen to it growl. We all heard whale calls as Mabel's eyes sparkled.

"They sound so majestic," she said

We all heard that same growling sounds again as Dipper was able to locate at least the direction it was coming from.

"It sounded like it's coming from up ahead," he said. He then got us all in a huddle before looking at us. "Okay, here's the plan. We'll get our cameras ready, take a quick picture, and run like the wind."

"Sounds like a good plan dude," agreed Soos.

We then broke the huddle as everybody got their cameras ready. Me, I got out my bowie knife and hatchet.

"If things go south, I'll cover for you guys," I reply, "I'll wound it and draw it away through the woods. Don't worry, I've done this a few times with a bear and/or cougar." In truth, I maybe did it once. My dad was the one who did it a bunch of times.

We all just grip what we were holding in our hands, all of us were breathing heavily. I mean, you could slice the tension with a giant knife and it would get stuck. We took a couple silent steps forward, our breaths becoming heavier and heavier.

"On my mark," whispered Dipper, "3….2…1…NOW!"

* * *

Wendy: Woah…talk about a cliffhanger. What will we encounter over the ridge? Will we get out picture of the Gobblewonker or are we going to be on the menu? Tune in next week or whenever.

Dr. Bees: *standing on a random grassy knoll in the living room* What's this? A fanfiction that is lacking a third part? My book full of bees should do the trick. *gets out a large book and releases the bees inside it*

Wendy: *watches on* Oh no…


	8. Legend of the GobbleWonker 3

Harlic: Baka! You haven't finished the third part?! What the hell is wrong with you?!

ZeroFox: Go easy on me, creativity is a delicate muse.

Harlic: Lazy fox!

ZeroFox: Hagging nag!

Wendy: *in a sarcastic tone* Mom, Dad, please stop fighting. You're gonna make the cat upset.

Poyo: *is sleeping on a cushion.*

Wendy: So just take 5 and let's get things rolling before Harlic becomes a silver fox.

Harlic: Yeah, I a-WAIT A MINUTE?! ARE YOU CALLING ME OLD?!

ZeroFox: *busy laughing his ass off* xD!

* * *

Disclaimer: _THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFIT FANFICTION! GRAVITY FALLS AND ITS CHARACTERS BELONG TO ALEX HIRSCH AND DISNEY. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE!_

* * *

So where did we leave off? Oh yeah, we were all on ScuttleButt Island. What were we doing on an island in the middle of a lake? See it's like this. Dipper wanted to go on a monster hunt and pretty much that was it. When got to our destination and then came across something that was making a very loud growl. Needless to say things got tense as it seemed like we had found our…*gulp*…prize.

If we get out of this alive, I promise to at least attempt to get to work 30 minutes earlier than I normally come in and maybe actually put a little more effort…and…and…okay, that's just pushing it. Let's just get back to it before I say something I know I'm going to regret later on while reading the comments section (booyah, 4th wall broken baby!).

* * *

* _ **Insert the Gravity Falls Intro Theme**_ *

* * *

 **Chapter 4:**

 **Legend of the GobbleWonker p.3**

* * *

"3…2…1…GO!"

Without missing a beat, we all charged towards where the growling sound came from. Was it risky? Yes. Were we risking the chance of bodily harm to us? Yes. Did we have to spring at top speeds during the whole process? Err…not really but it's hard to go at a slow pace when you're on an adrenaline rush Although Soos' battle cry was a little over the top if you asked me. Not to mention very loud and right near my ear (I can still hear it ringing through my ears).

But regardless of what we did, the act was still committed. However the results were…well…they weren't exactly what we had anticipated.

All of us then came to a small clearing as we all saw we had arrived at what appeared to be another cove on the island.

"Uh…did we just walk from one side of the island to the other?" I asked.

"Huh, I guess we did. Sweet," responded Soos.

For a moment, there was a sense of accomplishment among us. I mean, we just practically explored Scuttlebutt Island in like a single day. But…that's not what we were here for.

Mabel looked around but then something caught her eye. Something in the water. Something big.

"GOBBLEWONKER!"

We all looked ahead to see this giant monstrosity in the water. It had this long neck, a large body, and we could all hear this loud growling coming from it.

But as if somebody was playing a giant prank on us, a small windy blew by and began to clear up the fog. Before Dipper or any of us could get a photo, we saw what was really in the water. It was just the remains of a shipwreck in the water with the bow of the boat rotted away to look like a long neck. On the wreck itself were just a bunch of beavers just chilling on it, doing beaver things (what? I don't know what beavers do on their spare time).

If this was a cartoon, Dipper's mouth (and probably my mouth) would've hit the ground in disbelief.

"B-B-B-B-But what about that growling sound we just heard?" he stammered out, just minutes away from having a complete mental meltdown.

We then heard that growling sound coming again, this time coming from our right. We all looked over to see…

….…..

…

…...okay, that's it I'm done. Done. D-o-n-e, done! I'm done for the day and ready to go on home and watch mindless television (debating whether or not to watch a cheesy movie or see if another anime is on…you didn't see that last part).

See, it turns out what was causing that noise was an old, rusty chainsaw that a beaver was chomping on. Every so often, the chainsaw's motor would rev up from the shock of the beaver just chewing on it (yes…yes it's as ridiculous and dangerous as it sounds folks).

"Sweet, beaver with a chainsaw," commented Soos.

Okay, not gonna lie. That does sound like an interesting name for a metal garage band. It wouldn't surprise me if there was a kind of band like that with that exact name. However, in this specific scenario it was the name of the final knockout blow to one Dipper Pine's Saturday.

He picked up a nearby rock before taking a few steps forward and chucked it as hard as he could into the water (color me impressed but he got some serious air with that rock!). But instead of cursing or shouting or just going on an explosive rant…he just…sighed. He just sighed and drooped his shoulders and head like he was defeated.

"Great…just great," he said, his voice heavy with disappointment, "This Saturday has been a complete and utter failure." He then just pulled the brim of his hat down in an attempt to hide his face. "I feel so stupid for believing that hillbilly!"

"Hey relax bro-bro," replied Mabel in an attempt to calm her brother down. It didn't really work.

Dipper turned to face her.

"How could I relax Mabel?" he asked her, "I mean, I just wasted like $50 on all those cameras and all we did was either break them or take pictures of some beavers."

He just pointed over to Soos, who was busy doing his own private photo op with a random beaver (somethings are just better left unspoken about).

"Grunkle Stan was really hoping we would go fishing with him, even if we just sat in the boat with him and did nothing he would have appreciated the time. But instead, we just ditched him to go on some bull-crud monster hunt and no amount of reward money would make it up to him." He then walked over and sat down on a rock on the water's edge.

Oh wow…that…that was some deep stuff. I mean, sure we didn't get a chance to see some giant monster or what not (thank god). But to just go off on the depression deep end like that…well…it just sucks seeing Dipper like that. I don't know why though.

So I decided to offer some form of counseling. I just walked up to Dipper and squatted down next to him. All I know is that my knees were gonna be sore after this one (*sighs*...yes, I know phrasing…*sigh*).

"Yo dude, you don't need to beat yourself up cause things didn't go your way," I said to him, "Sometimes…things don't go our way we planned. I mean…my dad asked me to go fishing with him and I…sort of…turned him down because I said I had other plans-" (by the way, that last part stung like a bastard in my chest) "-, which turned into this little monster hunt thingy."

Before Dipper could respond, I simply placed my hand on his shoulder. "But even so, it's still light out and what not. When we head back to the boat, I'm gonna go find him out on the lake and join him. You and Mabel can do the same way with Stan. Of course, you'll have to grovel and apologize a lot more than me but I'm sure Stan will be reasonable and forgive you."

Dipper turned to look at me. His eyes were a little red and puffy from crying but there was a small smile on his face. "Thanks, that really means a lot." (GODDAMN IT, WHY DOES HE LOOK ADORABLE LIKE THAT?!)

"No prob dude," I casually replied, "Now come on, let's-"

*BOOM* *GROWL*

"-go?"

We all heard this loud boom and growling sound as things started to get tense.

"You heard that t-WHOA!"

Apparently the rock that Dipper was sitting on went under as he fell into the water. Luckily I was still there and pulled him out.

"Don't you dare drown on me again dude! I'm not giving you CPR again!"

Mabel and Soos regrouped with us as we all saw Dipper's rock was actually a large…large…moving...mo-mo…oh…oh…oh shit.

We saw that the rock wasn't really a rock. Rather, it was a tail of some sort that belonged to something moving in the water. Something that was large and reptilian looking. All of Dipper's depression flew right off his face and was instantly replaced by that excited look. The best way to put it was that it was like 100x times greater than that kid who got an N64 for Christmas (I've seen the video of that on YouTube and wow, never thought a kid could get that excited before).

"Oh my god, it's real! It's really real!" he beamed.

Dipper then got out his own camera and started to take as many pictures as he could.

Well at least one of us was happy. As for Soos, Mabel, and myself…err…not so much in that department. We were more in the 'Holy shit, this thing is real. Let's get the hell out of here before anything bad happens to us' mode.

"Ha ha! This is great!" *Click* "Clear photographic evidence of the Gobblewonker!" *Click* "This totally beats out all those grainy photos of the Loch Ness Monster." *Click* "We're gonna be rich and famous!" Dipper then turned to face us, his back to the water. "This day has been the best day ever!"

However unknowing to Dipper, we saw the large mass moving in the water slowly change direction and come towards us. It then stopped as we, minus Dipper, got a full view of the Gobblewonker rising out of the water. It had this long neck with a slim, snake-like head attached to it. Its yellow eyes just looked down at us as it opened its mouth to reveal rows of sharp, jagged teeth that looked like it could shred a cow in seconds. By the looks of things…it was hungry and apparently we were on the menu.

"Uh…dude…"

"Come on Soos, just take a picture. I mean you were taking tons of pictures of those beavers before."

"Dipper…"

"You better take a picture too Mabel so you can get your share of the prize money also."

Okay, somebody has to be the voice of reason here and I voted myself as such.

"DIPSHIT, TURN AROUND!"

"Fine! But no need for foul-"Dipper then turned his head to come face-to-face with the Gobblewonker. "-language." He then let out a nervous laughter. "Well, hi there. Could you please hold still for a quick picture?"

We were all hit be a loud, deafening roar and splattered by a mixture of saliva, lake water, and…fish guts (ugh…gonna barf again…*hergh*).

"Okay, I'll take that as a no. Carry on." He then immediately spun his head to look at us. "RUN!"

He didn't have to tell us twice what to do! No sooner had he told us to run, all four of us booked it from the cove. Much to our horror, the Gobblewonker gave chase. For an aquatic animal, it sure was hauling ass on land.

"How the hell is it so fast?!" I cried out, "I mean, it looks like a plesiosaur and those things couldn't maneuver on land worth a damn!"

"Well crocodiles have been known to have bursts of speed of 20 mph and they're the closest relatives to a plesiosaur," explained Dipper.

"How fast can we run then?" asked Mabel.

We all looked behind us to see the Gobblewonker starting to close the gap between us.

"NOT FAST ENOUGH!" screamed Dipper.

We just ran even faster, finding that extra gear that helps us go faster. But it barely helped us at all.

It also didn't help that while that giant *pucking* lizard was barreling through the forest, it was sending trees crashing down at us. I mean we almost got pancaked a few times by a giant pine tree (it felt like I was in a video game called 'Don't Die'). But…*sigh*…I couldn't believe that even when staring death right in the face, Dipper was still trying to take a picture of the damn Gobblewonker. He even stopped briefly to get a straight picture.

Fortunately for him, he had a 'guardian lumberjill' to save him. And by save him, I mean quickly run back, yank him by the shirt, and pull him in the opposite direction of the thing that was trying to kill us.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF *PUCKING* KILLED DORKER?!"

"BUT THE PICTURE!"

I just looked at Dipper square in the eyes. "DUDE, I THINK YOU'RE A BIG PAIN IN THE ASS OKAY? BUT EVEN SO, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU GET KILLED!"

We both then heard the Gobblewonker let out a monstrous roar as it snapped Dipper back into reality.

"FAIR ENOUGH!"

We just continued to run as we caught up to Soos and Mabel.

"Hey dude, I'm sorry that your little excursion came up empty," hollered Soos, "But if it'll make you feel better, I got a bunch of sweet photos of those beavers."

"WHY WOULD THAT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!" cried out Dipper.

"LESS SHOUTING, MORE RUNNING!" shrieked Mabel amidst another monstrous roar by the Gobblewonker.

Luckily we came across our boat as Soos tossed Mabel and I tossed Dipper on board. Soos and I then shoved the boat into the water as we each got into the boat. Mabel then fired up the motor, Soos and I lifted up the anchor, and we began to back away as we saw the Gobblewonker arrive on the shore.

Now was a reasonable time to take a picture. Unfortunately…

"What?! A cracked lens?! Ergh! Soos, could you hand me a…a…WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

For those who are confused as to what just happened, Soos was throwing his cameras in the direction of the Gobblewonker for whatever reason.

"Whoops, sorry about that dude. Kind of silly to thing a little camera would do any damage against that."

Dipper just facepalmed himself, letting out one loud growl of frustration (I particularly don't blame him for that one).

Me, I just looked back at the Gobblewonker and did what a normal, reasonable person would do when facing a giant aquatic reptile: taunt it and give it double freedom rockets

"HA! IN YO FACE YOU DUMB LIZARD! TRY TO CATCH…Us…now?"

Well needless to say, I got major egg on my face for that one. No sooner had the rockets been launched, the Gobblewonker just dove into the water and then began to give chase to our boat. I simply looked over to my right as Dipper's jaw was hanging in shock while Soos and Mabel were snickering/giggling.

"Eh heh heh…oh right…it could swim too."

Soos immediately dashed over to the controls, pulling the lever to give the engines more power. We were then flying on the water as we were in one of those life-or-death chases you sometimes see in the movie. Usually it involves like a car chase of some sort. This time around, it was a giant lake monster and a boat.

"Dudes," called Soos, pointing to the barrel, "Use the bait! It could distract it!"

Dipper, Mabel, and I then ran over to the barrel, each of us grabbing from the bottom.

"One, two, three…lift!"

We all lifted the barrel up and threw it overboard into the lake. It just bobbed up and down a bit before the Gobblewonker came up to it. Without even a second of hesitation, the monster just plowed through the barrel, turning it into just fish bait and wooden splinters.

"Well that was $20 wasted," grumbled a disgruntled Soos, "Good thing I only bought one. Lesson learned."

So we just kept zooming around Scuttlebutt Island in our fleeting attempt to escape the Gobblewonker. The fog was still in the air, making visibility essentially nil.

Mabel looked at ahead, squinting her eyes to see what we were coming up on. Then they opened up really wide.

"SOOS! BEAVERS!"

Somehow we made it to where we spotted those beavers before as they were just hanging out on the boat wreckage. Then with a loud 'AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!' scream, we plowed through the beaver's boat. Luckily the wood was rotted and flimsy so our boat wasn't damage. However the impact sent the beavers flying into the sky. Then it started to rain beavers. Really angry beavers. Really angry beavers they started chomping on anything and everything that came into contact with their mouths be it boat or its occupant.

"OW! Stop it Mr. Beaver! OW! Not the sweater! Not the sweater!"

"OW! Watch the hat! OW! OWWWWW!"

"Get *SMACK* off *SMACK* my boot *SMACK* you *SMACK* rat!"

Then out of nowhere, one beaver jumped at Soos and latched itself onto his face (think facehugger from Aliens only not as gross or nightmare inducing to some). So like any sane person, he ended up running around the boat while trying to get his beaver off (wow…okay….that sounded wrong on so many levels).

Now on a normal day, if I saw that I would probably be on the ground laughing my head off. Then a few minutes later, I'd help free Soos. You'd be surprised on how many times that has actually happened (I think it happened at least a dozen times in the past).

In the current situation we were in, nobody was laughing. Why? Oh just the fact that Soos was piloting the boat and now with his problem, we had nobody to steer the ship.

Luckily Mabel got her beaver off (yes, I know I definitely need to work on my phrasing) and made her way to the steering wheel. Unfortunately she wasn't as tall as Soos so she had to pretty much step on her tiptoes to be able to see over the console. Luckily I was right by her side to give her directions.

"LEFT! WATCHOUT! RIGHT! DUCKS! DUCKS!"

See, great directions.

Dipper, on the other hand, well….he was tossing over and knocking off beavers off the boat with the fishing rods. Then randomly he took 2 beavers and chucked them at the Gobblewonker. Given the speed we were going at and Dipper was throwing in the opposite direction, he almost hit the Gobblewonker with one (which was impressive) while the other got flung like 20 yards past it (holy hell, where did he get the arm for that?!).

Then to add more to the fun, our aquatic buddy decided to submerge itself into the water. So instead of a giant aquatic lizard chasing us, it was a giant ripple. A giant ripple of water that was chasing a boat heading…heading into a crowded area of people and their boats.

Yup…it was that kind of Saturday. We were zigzagging around boats and swimmers, all of us (except Soos of course) were yelling/shouting at people to move. The Gobblewonker? Well, it just plowed on through everything and everybody. Boats were capsized, people were flung into the water, children were crying, it was pandemonium. I honestly wish I could have recorded it all but the desire to live outweigh the idea of creating a video to watch later on.

Then out of nowhere, we saw Pacifica's yacht slowly drift into our path. Of course nobody was paying attention to what was going on. So we had to take matters into our own hands.

"RIGHT MABEL! STEER RIGHT!"

"JUST GRAB THE DAMN WHEEL AND TURN!"

"IT'S GONNA BE CLOSE!"

Dipper and I grabbed onto the steering wheel as we helped Mabel make an immediate sharp right to steer our boat from colliding with the yacht. Luckily we dodged it by a hair before curving around it and then back into a straight line.

Pacifica must have heard us coming or the near collusion as she sat up from her deck chair, pulling down her sun glasses. "Ugh, bunch of idiots. WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING! YOU'RE GONNA-WAAAAHHHH!" And just like that, her yacht got capsized and she and her friends were flung into the water.

As much as it would have been fun to laugh at her situation, we had different priorities to focus on. Such as living and finding a way to escape death.

Out of nowhere, Dipper closed his eyes to think. He then began to rub his temples to concentrate or get something to pop into his head.

"Hey Wendy, is there a river or a waterfall or something that goes into this Gravity Falls Lake?"

"Yeah! Gravity Falls Falls," I replied back, "It's like north from here."

Dipper then looked at Mabel. "Mabel, head north!"

"Where's north?!" was the response.

"Turn the wheel slightly to your left and go that way!"

Mabel did as she was told as the boat veered into the direction of Gravity Falls Falls.

Along the way, we randomly crashed through a sheet of glass that two people were holding up while going across the lake. Why were they doing that, we had no idea. Nor did we bother to ask.

We continued our desperate charge towards Gravity Falls Falls But along the way I suddenly had the urge to ask this burning question ask Dipper. Something that I should have asked in the beginning.

"Why are we heading to Gravity Falls Fall?" I asked.

"It's because-LOOKOUT!"

Out of nowhere, the Gobblewonker popped itself back on the surface, almost next to our boat. It then swung its neck at us, using its head like a flail, to attack our boat. We all ducked as the next thing we knew, our boat had no more cabin.

Then the sound of crashing water started to get louder and louder as we (well everybody minus Soos because of the beaver on his face) saw we were approaching Gravity Falls Falls.

"Now as I was saying before we were almost killed," I began, "Why are we here?"

Dipper then looked at me. "Well I read somewhere that occasionally behind a waterfalls, there might be a small cave behind it we could escape into."

"MIGHT BE?!" screamed Mabel and I.

All three of us just looked ahead at the approaching waterfall. It was the ol' proverbial (yes, I know what that word means so shut it) getting stuck between a rock and a hard place. We were either going to die from the Gobblewonker or from the impact of crashing our boat into a solid sheet of rock behind a waterfall.

A ton of thoughts were racing through my head as we were getting closer and closer. This was it. I was about to die. I was about to die single, without a driver's license, and with the idiot who got me in this mess in the first place. All I did was close my eyes, took one last deep breath, and braced myself for my violent end to come…

….

….

…

"Wendy?"

…

"Wendy?"

"Huh…."

"Weeeeeendy?"

"M-M-Mom?"

"Hey Wendy, wake up!"

"Ugh…am I dead? Is...Is this heaven?"

I opened my eyes to see the ceiling of a cave as I saw Mabel and Dipper bending over to check on me. This could only mean one thing…I'm in the other place.

"Hey Wendy, if you weren't gonna wake up Dipper was gonna give you mouth-to-mouth like you did with him earlier."

"I was not!" barked Dipper, his cheeks red now.

Yup, I'm in hell. But why don't I hear any heavy metal music or see any fire or little demon dudes like on the cover of my metal albums?

So I decided to pinch my arm. "OW!" Okay, I'm alive. That's good.

I then sat up as all three of us looked at our new surroundings. We were inside a cave behind Gravity Falls Falls as our boat had gone ashore onto a small, sandy beach. The impact must have thrown us all from the boat as we just looked at each other and asked the same question.

"Hey, where's Soos?"

No sooner had we asked that, we saw Soos still struggling to get his beaver off (*snort* *snicker* Damn it with the phrasing! *snicker*).

"Come on little dude, please get off my face," whined Soos as he pulled the critter off. He then tossed it aside before joining us. "Dude, I thought he'd never get off my face." Soos then looked around as well, letting out a small whistle. "Wow, I can't believe I never knew about this place behind Gravity Falls Falls. Ha ha, neat."

It was a pretty sweet cave. Risky as hell to get to but totally worth it. One way in, one way out.

*ROAWR* *SNARL* *RERGH*

Also one Gobblewonker…awesome.

We all turned behind us to see the Gobblewonker. However, it actually got stuck in the entrance/exit of the cave. Heh, it was wide enough for a boat but not wide enough for some large aquatic monster.

"Ha, can't get us now can ya!" I chirped, "What What!"

Then out of nowhere, the Gobblewonker just started to smash about. It thrashed its entire body, trying to force its way through (ugh, stop trying to eat us you asshole!).

"Dipper, take a picture!" exclaimed Mabel.

"You're right!" Dipper replied back as he then got out one last camera he had on him and began to take pictures. "This is great! It's in focus and it's not trying to kill us!" After a few snaps, he stopped before looking at us. "We did it! We got a picture of the Gobblewonker!"

"Way to go dude!" said Soos, hi-fiving Dipper.

I just grinned. "Not bad man."

Mabel just hugged her brother, who had a big triumphant grin on his face.

However the moment was short lived

See, with all the thrashing it was doing, the Gobblewonker unwittingly knocked off a bunch of stalactites off the roof of the cave. A few fell off and smacked its head and neck, impaling it like a hot knife through butter. It was pretty graphic.

But to add more to what we saw, there was a minor explosion that blew the head off. Now I'm no expert in animal biology but animals don't explode when a rock hits them. More of a thud if it's a large animal or a squish if it's a small animal.

It then just laid in the water as Dipper walked over to it.

"Be careful bro-bro," warned Mabel as we all saw Dipper examine the main body.

His eyes widened in disbelief.

"I don't believe it. It's not real. It's made of metal."

Dipper then knocked on the body with a fist, creating a small metallic clanging sound.

"You think it's an armor of some sort?" asked Soos.

"Technically if it was an armor, it wouldn't be metallic. It would be closer to oval plated bones called osteoderms or scutes that are found in crocodiles, alligators, armadillos, and ankylosaurs from prehistoric times," replied Dipper, "This is metal. Painted metal."

*cough* *cough* Nerd *cough* *cough*

We all then climbed on board the Gobblewonker as we made our way to the top of its back. Then something caught Mabel's attention.

"Hey, there's a latch handle closer to the neck place."

Okay now things are getting too weird. First the metal body, now a latch. It's if this wasn't a real monster but some sort of…mechanical ship (Pfft, as if. Who in Gravity Falls has the money, materials, and mindset to build such a thing?).

So we made our way to the latch handle as Soos grabbed a hold of it. With a minor heave, he opened it up to reveal a miniature control…room…with levers…and buttons…and…and…

"OLD MAN MCGUCKET?! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!"

(For the record, that was Dipper who said that)

Then, as if on cue, that ol' hillbilly just turned to face us.

"Eh? Aww, banjo polish! Guess you found me out on my little ol' secret."

All of us, minus McGucket, blinked our eyes in disbelief.

"But…how?! W-W-Why?!" blurted out Dipper, his mental breakdown just a few seconds away, "So all this time, the Gobblewonker was just you?!"

"Yup, built the entire things mah self from parts in the junkyard," replied McGucket, "You won't believe what people throw out. I built this part from…" He then began to prattle off about how he built the whole thing, all the while I kept pinching myself trying to figure out if I was still dreaming and Dipper was slowly going insane.

"Wow, this is just like a real life Scooby Doo cartoon," commented Mabel.

"Well I guess you could say that," commented McGucket, finishing up his little play-by-play of how he built everything.

Then with one loud shout, Dipper dropkicked his camera away from us. He then started pacing around in a circle, cursing and shouting about this whole day (wow, I didn't think the little guy had that much anger in him). All the while, Mabel just snickered.

"Heh, what a Mr. Pottymouth."

After Dipper's tirade, Soos then looked over to McGucket.

"But why did you built this large monster and then chased us all around Gravity Falls Lake?"

Then out of nowhere, the mood just took a turn to into like one of those 'life lesson' somber moments. McGucket then went to explain how he and his son had become more and more distant over the years and that his son was embarrassed to be seen around him. He then added on about how when you get older, there's not much time left to spend with those you care about and if you remain distant from each other, then…blah blah blah…sad Hallmark moment.

To be honest, I was sort of slowly tuning him out at that point. I think Dipper and Mabel were doing the same thing. It wasn't because we were heartless kids but…rather…we were too busy thinking about how we acted like we were embarrassed to be seen with our families (me with mine and the twins with Stan) followed by how we were gonna try to make it up to them.

Yeah, maybe this whole ordeal was like a life lesson of some sort. That we shouldn't be too embarrassed to be seen with family because no matter what, family will always be there for you no matter what (wait, did I just repeat myself? I think I just repeated the same thing twice in one sentence. Wow, these hallmark moments really do mess with you).

Soos then looked at the three of us.

"Dude. I guess the real lake monster is you three. Heh, heh! Sorry, that just like-boom-just popped into my head there."

Thanks for rubbing it in Soos. Really…Really appreciate it.

Mabel then looked at McGucket. "So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?"

"No, sir, I got to work straight on the robut! In fact, I made a lot of robuts back in my day!"

Well some people cope differently than others in that matter and…what, where did that projector come from?

"Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron."

…..uh….that's um…wow…

"Or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party and I constructed an eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA! WUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Okay, it's official. This guy is a bat shit crazy psychopath!

"Well, time to get back to work on my death ray!"

Yup, definitely a bat shit crazy psychopath. Now I know why my dad always told me to stay away from McGucket in the first place (and all the time, I thought it was because he smelled funny).

So as he was getting back to 'work', all four of us just grabbed what remained of our boat and hauled ass out of that cave (surprisingly, we were able to squeeze on by the Gobblewonker robot).

Once on the water, we just head on back to the main area of Gravity Falls Lake. Dipper just looked out ahead as he just sighed.

"I can official say that never again will I go hunt for the Gobblewonker…e-v-e-r," he sighed,

"I'll hold you too that bro-bro," added Mabel.

"Well today was certainly an eye-opening adventure with some laughs," said Soos.

"And we shall never speak of it ever again," I responded in an exasperated tone.

"I agree," said Dipper.

"I co-agree," added Mabel.

We all couldn't help but laugh at that. Just then I felt something fall out from my hat as I caught it before it hit the bottom of the boat. It turned out to be one last camera. It was still working, no scratched lens, and it had a full roll of film in it.

"Hey, one last camera. How about that."

We all looked at each other as we all were thinking the same thing.

"Hey, let's go find the others."

It took us a while before we then came across Stan back in his boat. He was busy fishing alone, not even bother to pay attention to what was going on.

"Hey Grunkle Stan, say cheese."

Stan turned to face us, only to cover his eyes as Mabel took a picture. "Ack! Huh…oh, it's you guys. Got tired of your monster hunt?"

"You could say that," I added, blatantly leaving out a lot of details of our whole ordeal.

Stan just waved his hand at us. "Pheh. You guys missed out on a lot of fun with me. While you guys were going after that Wonker creature, I've been having a great time with outcha'! Makin' friends, talkin' to my reflection, even had a run-in with the lake police. I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now but, meh, it'll be fun though."

We all saw this ankle bracelet around Stan's right ankle as it looked like it was a tracker of some sort. Everybody was confused at why he was wearing it except for one person who was too busy pinching their arm to try and not to burst out laughing (I'll let you figure that one out).

Dipper and Mabel then looked at Stan. "Hey Grunkle Stan, we just…want to apologize for bailing out on you earlier," began Dipper.

"It was very slimey of us to do so and we're very sorry for doing it," added Mabel, "So is there room in the boat for 4?"

Stan merely glared at them. However the twins got out their fishing hats from before and placed their heads. Then as if by some sort of magic, that glare turned into a soft look.

"You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?"

"I bet you five bucks that you can't," laughed Dipper.

"And five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, plus me singing at the top of my lungs!" beamed Mabel.

"I'll take that bet you two!" replied Stan as Mabel and Dipper hopped into the boat. Stan then looked at myself and Soos. "Jeez, you two looked like somebody mugged you and then threw you overboard."

"Eh, long story Mr. Pines," replied Soos.

"Meh, good enough for me," was the response.

Soos then got into the boat as I was about to follow him. However before I started to do so, we all heard this loud booming sound.

"Wendy! Wendy!"

"Wow, that's loud," grimaced Dipper.

Everybody then saw my dad and my brothers paddle over to us in their boat. However the damndest thing was that they look like they were drenched from head to toe.

"What happened to you guys?" I asked as I got in with them.

"You're not gonna believe what happened to us," replied my dad, "We were out fishing on the lake earlier when this boat just sped by us. The next thing we knew, this huge ripple thing just-BOOSH!"

My dad then made this weird collision sound effect.

"Our boat was capsized and we were in the water. Luckily Jason saved the tackle box and Alex saved the rods while Thurman and I fixed our boat."

"Wow dad, that's one amazing story," I replied as Soos, Dipper, and Mabel each did a small cough.

I then looked at the Pines family (and Soos) before looking at my own. Then a light bulb went off in my head.

"Hey dad, I was wondering. You want to have a fishing competition with the Pines family? Loser buys dinner!"

My dad immediately let out a loud laughter. "Oh yeah!" He then gave Stan a big smirk. "You're going down Stan!"

"The hell I'm paying for your dinner Manly Dan! I know how much you can eat!" replied Stan as he looked at everybody in his boat, "All right you guys, let's do this!"

We were all laughing and hooting as Mabel just let out a big squeal.

"GROUP FAMILY FISHING TRIP! GROUP FAMILY FISHING TRIP! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

I guess that's what you could say happened next. For the rest of the time on the lake, we were busy fishing and having a blast. After what happened today, I could really use this moment of peace and relaxation to enjoy the rest of my Saturday.

"Hey Wendy, is that guy your new boyfriend or something? He looks so scrawny and what not."

…..

"Hey what are you-WOAH! WOAH! *splash*!"

"Aww Wendy, why'd you throw Jason overboard? You're gonna scare the fish away! Thurman, help him back in would you."

Okay, now I can officially enjoy the rest of my Saturday.

(Oh if you were wondering who won, it was Team Corduroy baby! Looks like Stan is gonna be feeling a little light in the wallet after tonight, heh heh heh!)

* * *

Wendy: Finally. That took like ages to do. *sighs*

Poyo: They say good things come to those who wait.

Wendy: Yeah, I….DID YOU JUST TALK?

Poyo: Hiya?

Wendy: Okay…gonna go lie down now and try to reclaim my sanity.


	9. The Hand That Rocks the Mabel

Wendy: Hey everybody, Wendy Corduroy here. Sorry for the lack of work, we've been experiencing some difficulties over the course of time. Such as…

* * *

ZeroFox: *watching the news with everybody and sees something* WHAT THE HELL?! THAT BASTARD! *runs off*

ZeroFox Crew: *watches on the TV as it's a press conference for old cartoonists*

Newsman: And now we have Chester Field, one of the creators of It-

ZeroFox: You bastard! *runs up to the stage* I knew I recognized you! I made you a pasta dinner to mow my lawn back in 1998, but you never did!

Chester: The sauce was too salty!

ZeroFox: Mow my lawn!

Chester: Make me!

ZeroFox: *hops up on stage and proceeds to get into a brawl with Chester*

ZeroFox Crew: *sees everything as Wendy sighs*

Wendy: I'll go get the bail money.

Harlic: Use the Bits account this time.

* * *

Wendy: Then….there was another incident…

* * *

*setting is a convention as there's a booth to meet Crispin Freeman*

Harlic: *gets up to the table, biting her lip to hold her excitement*

Crispin: Well hi there. What's your name?

Harlic: Harlic Hash Nikan the II Alucard-sama!

Crispin: Wow, that's a mouth full of a name. *sees a poster of Alucard* Ah, you're a big Alucard fan.

Harlic: Only because your voice really brings out his bad assery!

Crispin: Thank you very much. *signs the poster*

Harlic: And this too? *hands Crispin another piece of paper*

Crispin: Eh why not. *signs it but then sees that it's tapped onto something* What…the…*takes the paper off before seeing an official document* Wait a minute, this is a marriage registration form!

Harlic: Now we're legally married Alucard-sama! *quickly gets restrained by security guards and taken away* PLEASE BE THE FATHER OF MY PUPS! I'LL PROMISE TO MAKE MISO SOUP EVERYDAY!

Wendy: *dressed up as Asuka from Evangelion while walking with Poyo, who was dressed like Piccolo* Well…shit. Gonna have to call an Uber now.

Poyo: Hiya.

Wendy: I wonder if they accepted Bits.

* * *

Wendy: And then we had another incident. Nobody got arrested but…

* * *

*In Strong Bad's house*

Strong Bad: Hey The Cheat, where are you with the pizzas? Strong Sad is gonna wake up from his nap any minute now and that anchovy pizza prank will be ruined.

Poyo: *walks in with a pizza box on his back* Hiya…

Strong Bad: Woah The Cheat! You really let yourself go. Man, you need to layoff the grumblecakes…like immediately.

Poyo: Hiya?

Strong Bad: What do you mean layoff? I mean, look at you. You're round, and orange, and…you're not really The Cheat are you.

Poyo: Hiyaaaa.

Strong Bad: If you're here, where's The Cheat?

*back at the ZeroFox house*

Wendy: *Is going into the fridge to get a bite to eat. Opens the door and gets hit in the face with an anchovy pizza* AAAH MY FACE! WHY?! WHY?!

The Cheat: *sprints out of the fridge and books it*

* * *

Wendy: So with that being said, I guess I'll be running the show until we can get a replacement crew in here. Ugh, this sucks man. I better be getting overtime for this. Hey special guest Disclaimer dude, let's get things rolling.

Strong Bad: You can't make me do this! It's a violation of Strong Badia-

Wendy: *holds up an axe*

Strong Bad: Well, you make a fair point. *ahem* _THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFIT FANFICTION! GRAVITY FALLS AND ITS CHARACTERS BELONG TO ALEX HIRSCH AND DISNEY. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE! Also the other things belong to their respective creators and what not. Please don't sue._

* * *

You know, it just dawned on me.

For the past couple of weeks that those two have been here, I've had quite a few problems and awkward resolutions with Dipper (they were awkward by my standards and for the last time, we did not kiss in the last chapter! That was CPR!).

However I had no problems with Mabel whatsoever. I mean we a few encounters and what not (my back and my foot still remembers those moments…ouch) but nothing like big. That is until recently when she encountered a certain little maniacal boy with a perm that is the envy of grandmas everywhere (you know exactly who I'm talking about to).

* * *

* _ **Insert the Gravity Falls Intro Theme**_ *

* * *

 **Chapter 5:**

 **The Hand that Rocks the Mabel**

* * *

So a couple days later after the 'hunt' for the Gobblewonker, we were all back to our normal routines and such. Stan ran the Mystery Shack, Soos did the utilities, and I manned the register.

Dipper was back to being his dorky, annoying self as he tried to search for the 'paranormal activity' that surrounded Gravity Falls…if there was such. But the worse part was….*sigh*…he tried showing us that there was something going on. When he came back, there were lines he kept using.

Line 1:

"Guys, you're not gonna believe what I saw in the woods!"

He used that about a few times when he came running back in.

And then there was line 2:

"Wendy! You're not gonna believe what I saw in the woods!"

He used that about….oh, I don't know….about every time he came back! (Ugh…why is he always going to me first?!)

Mabel, on the other hand, was busy flirting with pretty much any boy that walked into the store. If it was male and fell in the age range of 11 through 17 (why that age range, I still have no idea), Mabel was all over it. After scaring off a few boys and getting angry glares by their parents, Stan had to pull Mabel aside and tell her to stop. And by pulling Mabel aside and tell her stop, I mean by get the only other female in the Mystery Shack to do it for you.

"Hey Wendy, make with some of the girl talk with Mabel and get her to stop chasing boys. I don't feel like paying off a lawsuit so early into the tourist season."

Yup, lucky me.

"I better be getting overtime for it dude."

"Ha, that's a good one. Overtime, pfft! Ha!"

"Ugh…whatever man."

So one day while it was particular dead, I decided to pull up a stool next to me. "Hey Mabel, you got a minute?"

"Sure, what's up gal pal?"

Meh, I can live with her calling me that.

But before we began our little 'girl-to-girl chat', I had to wait a few minutes for something. Something that you could easily set your watch to at this point

"Hey Wendy, what are you waiting for?"

"Well usually your brother comes in prattling about seeing something in the woods right about now."

Mabel just laughed. "Oh yeah. Well Stan has him doing some errands in town on foot and he won't be back for a loooooooong time according to Grunkle Stan."

…..One girl-to-girl chat coming up for you Stan, on the house (I never felt so grateful to Stan as I did that moment)!

I then looked over to Mabel. "Okay Mabel, personally I think you're a cool girl. You got moxie and I like that."

To be quite honest, I didn't think pupils could grow that big and twinkle like that.

"But, there's a little, teensy problem."

"Aroo?"

"Well first off, I admire your gusto for trying to get a boyfriend and all."

"Hehe, thanks."

"Welcome, but lately-"

"Hey there red, I'm not from around here. Care to give me a-*thud*-WAH! Crazy bitch!"

"You've been a little too aggressive with every boy that comes in here and it's kinda getting to be a nuisance."

"Really?"

"Yup, unfortunately."

(Oh if you were wondering what just happened in the middle of all that, it was some blonde asshole that came in and tried to flirt with me. Without missing a beat, breaking my train of thought, or even looking at the guy, I just pulled out my bowie knife and stabbed the countertop. Hence the 'thud' sound and him calling me a 'crazy bitch' before running out the door. Any who, back to girl-to-girl chat.)

Mabel then let out a love struck sigh. "But there are so many dreamy hunks that walk through that door though."

We then heard a car pull up as we saw a family of 5 got out. There were two boys that got out as they had messy hair, one had a gap in their teeth, and were too busy playing handheld video games and didn't even bother to look up from the screens.

"See…so dreamy."

I actually felt my left eyebrow twitch in disgust. "Yeaaah…dreamy…" I then looked back to Mabel.

Though a part of me did admire her optimism and energy (and at one point, I was kinda like that but that's a whole different story!), I had to put my foot down. "The point is that you need to tone it down before you get into a big mess."

Mabel just did that chuckle of hers, waving her hand as if to brush my last sentence. "I'll be fine. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen?"

I just gave her a sigh. "You could attract a guy who seems sweet at first but turns out to be a douche later on?"

"Highly unlikely," replied Mabel. Then she got a puzzled look on her face. "Uh, what's a douche?"

That was facepalm worthy. But as if I was given a gift from the heavens, Dipper walked through that door…I MEANT THAT AS A DISTRACTION! A DISTRACTION OKAY?!

"Oh god…I hurt all over…"

Apparently he was carrying a bunch of bags as Stan walked into the main area.

"Nice work kiddo. And you didn't spill anything this time. Take 5."

He then casually took all the bags away from Dipper before walking into the back to his office, humming something.

Dipper then looked over to both Mabel and myself. "Oh hey guys. Don't mind me, I'm just gonna go lay down and-"

"Dudes! Come quick!" called Soos, emerging from the back, "I gotta show you something!"

Hmm, must be very important if Soos called for us while on break (I'm not gonna lie, I just wanted an excuse to get off work for a few minutes). So I locked the door, flipped a sign over that said 'Be Back in 10' and then joined Mabel and Dipper as all three of us followed Soos into the back.

He then led us to the TV room as he all just popped a squat on a chair or beanbag. On the screen was that show _Tiger-Fist_ (interesting show, highly recommend it) as Soos looked at us.

"It's almost time for the commercials you guys."

Then as if on cue, we all heard, " _Tiger Fist!_ will return after these messages," before seeing the first commercial.

"Dudes, I saw this commercial the other day and it just blew my mind," whispered Soos, "I just had to show it to you."

We then watched the commercial being played. It was basically saying that our lives were miserable and that a child psychic named Gideon was the key to our happiness (you know exactly the commercial I'm talking about folks. If not, google it) and all that jazz. It also had a warning in it of not to be fooled by the other phony 'man of mystery' as it showed Stan coming out of an outhouse (gonna have to bleach my eyes after that one).

There was a lot of snickering coming from us (well, mostly the Twins and myself) as the commercial finished up, telling us to come on down to visit a place called the 'Tent of Telepathy' tomorrow night and then did that quick speed text disclaimer and audio (uh, who the hell was Carla?).

Soos then turned off the TV as he looked at us. "Pretty weird huh?"

Mabel just giggled. "I'm getting all curiousy inside to check that out."

"Well you better not get too curiousy," growled a voice as we then saw Stan walk in; "That Gideon kid is nothin' but trouble!"

"And how is a used car salesman's kid causing you problems?" I asked, "Other than showing everybody in Gravity Falls of you coming out of an outhouse."

"That explains that random shine coming from that bush!" snapped Stan, "If I catch him again, I'll throw him in the-" He then stopped in mid-rant before coughing to regain his composure as well as train of thought. "Besides that and he's also my biggest competition since last year. He's also taken stuff from me, stuff that I can never ever get back."

"Like a parking spot at the mall?" I asked.

"Hey, it was a good spot and the only spot in the parking lot I didn't have to worry about people scratching my car." Stan then clenched his hands into fists. "He took that plus a sweet nectar gift from the gods away from me."

"You mean a donut from the local donut shop?" asked Soos.

Stan actually shed a tear on that one. "It…It was a fresh Boston crème one too! They said they didn't have any more afterwards!"

Yikes, Stan is going overboard. It also didn't help that whispering to each other were Mabel and Dipper about going to checkout to see if this Gideon kid was psychic.

"What are you two whispering about?" questioned Stan.

"We were gonna go see if Gideon was really psychic," responded Mabel, only to see Dipper facepalm himself, "Oooh, I wasn't supposed to say that huh?"

Stan then gave them, as well as Soos and myself, a stern look. "Not in a million years you two or you two! You're all forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof or works under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof! Capiche?"

The twins just gave him a blank stare, obviously not familiar with that last word.

"You know, Capiche?"

Still a blank stare from the twins.

"Capiche is derived from the Italian word slang word 'capisci.' When translated into English, it means 'Do you understand?' It was used a lot in the 1940s before slowly bleeding into a lot of people's modern day lexicon, obviously those with Italian heritages or those who watched a lot of gangster/mafia movies."

Everybody then just looked at me after I randomly dropped that little information nugget (damn it, I gotta stop doing that).

"What she said," was Stan's response before looking at everybody, "So no one is going to see Gideon, end of story." He then walked out of the room as all four of us stood there.

Then randomly out of nowhere, Dipper just smirked at Mabel.

"Hey, do tents have roofs?"

"I think we just found our loop hole…"

Wow, I guess they have a naughty streak in-

"…literally!" Mabel then randomly held up a string with a loop in it. "Mwop mwop!"

…

…Okay, back to my post before I lose any more brain cells (that was a bad pun joke anyways!).

So the next night, after work of course, we all snuck out to go meet up with Soos as his place. It felt a little wrong to do this to Stan…but I'll deal with the consequences later.

We all piled into Soos' truck front seat. Wasn't the brightest move since we were squished in like sardines in a can. But curiosity and eagerness definitely outweighed common sense.

"Okay you guys, time to buckle up. After all, safety first," said Soos, struggling to move, "Wow, it's uh…pretty tight in here!"

I just sighed as I-WOAHHOHOHOHOHO!

"Oh, um, sorry Wendy. You were sitting on my seat belt and I was trying to get it without bothering you."

…..

After a few minutes, we were on our way to the Tent of Telepathy. Dipper and Mabel were riding with Soos while I rode in the bed of the truck, trying to come to grips with that fact that I just got goosed by Dipper of all people (I would have rode in the back seat but that would be way too close to him and I wanted to get some distance). Like I couldn't believe that his hand touched my butt. Ergh…if Mabel and Soos weren't there, I'd slug him for that.

*sigh* But…it was accidentally and he did look embarrassed by it…and…

…

Ughhhhh….let's just get to that tent place quick please before this gets more complicated than it already is!

So it took us like 10 minutes to get to the Tent of Telepathy. Surprisingly enough, it was packed. I mean more packed than at the Mystery Shack (no offense Stan).

"Woah, I think like half the town is here," I commented as Soo parked his truck and we all got out.

"Did everybody see that cheesy commercial?" asked Dipper.

"Well it was pretty snazzy if you ask me," commented Mabel as we walked inside.

We walked up to the cashier girl as Soos paid for our admission (I'll get him back at lunch tomorrow). We got our tickets before going in and taking a seat. Gotta admit, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. However…

"This is so weird. It's like a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack."

Not gonna lie, the dork does have a point.

"They even have their own Soos."

Eh…that might be stretching it too far. It's not like they're copying-oh my god, that guy actually does looks exactly like Soos if Soos shaved. Okay, I'm officially a little creeped out. Maybe I just need a drink. A little soda to calm the nerves.

"I'm gonna get something to drink. You guys want anything?"

"Some popcorn would be nice," pipped up Mabel

"I could go for a pretzel," added Dipper

"….."

"Eh, I'll get you another empanada dude."

Apparently Soos and the Soos look-alike were in a glare down of some sort (also, where did Soos get that empanada anyways). I was gonna need some help to carry the food back so…

"Hey Dip-Dip, you're helping me carrying the food."

Dipper just scowled. "Aww, you just gave her a new idea for a nickname."

We both looked over to see Mabel writing 'Dip-Dip' in a small notebook labeled 'Nicknames 4 Bro-Bro.' "Totally gonna use that in July."

I casually shrugged my shoulders. "Your problem, not mine. Come on, let's grab the snacks before the show starts."

So we went over to the snack stand as there were a few people in line. Oh goodie. Meh, wonder what Tambry and the others up to later on?

"Um Wendy."

Maybe we could hit a movie or that laser tag place after this.

"Wendy?"

I'll just quickly send a text and-

"Wendy?"

"What do you want?!"

Dipper just pointed at the snack bar. "We're next."

Wow, don't I feel stupid (and an asshole for that matter but whatever, it's just Dipper).

So we get up to the snack bar and-oh my god, I think I just met my doppelganger.

"Hi, what can I get for you two?"

Dipper coughed as he placed the order for Mabel, myself, and Soos. Me? I was too busy being dumbfounded at the fact that the girl working behind the snack counter looked like me if I was a brunette, no freckles, and had my hair in pigtails (it's just so creepy, brrr!). Not to mention…not to mention that…that…was she checking out Dipper?!

"And how about you cutie? What would you like?"

Cutie?! Dipper?! As if! I (amgonnaripyourtongueoutifyoucallhimthatagain) highly doubt that.

Dipper just rubbed the back of his head, laughing a sheepishly. "I'll take a large pretzel please."

That brunette doppelganger just smiled. "Sure thing." She then went to go to get a pretzel Dipper rubbed the back of his head.

"She seems kind of nice."

"Yeah nice," I replied as the brunette doppelganger came back with a pretzel.

"Here you go, one pretzel for the cutie."

…..I think (theywon'tfindthebodywhenI'mdonewithyou) I'm going to throw up.

So I just slapped $30 onto the table, told her to keep (yourgrimeylittleeyesandpawsoffhim) the change, and walked away from her.

Dipper just looked at the brunette doppelganger, who was busy waving good bye at him as he waved bye back.

I just simple (beganplottingherinevitabledemiseifIeversawheragain) rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

We then made it back to the others as Dipper and I handed out the snacks before sitting down.

While we sat and waited for the show to begin, I was sipping my soda and…

…

…

…..OH MY GOD, I GOT ACTUALLY GOT PISSED BECAUSE THAT BRUNETTE FLIRTING WITH DIPPER?! I WAS ACTUAL JEALOUS?! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

"Oh my gosh, it's starting!" beamed Soos and Mabel as the lights then went dim.

Dipper then looked to me, giving me this joking smirk. "Okay, let's see what this Gideon fellow that's gotten Stan all ticked off."

I just snapped back into reality before raising an eyebrow at him. "It's starting right now?"

"Shhhh!" hissed Soos and Mabel, as well as a few assholes near us.

The curtain pulled up to reveal...to reveal…to…is that a child in a suit? You've got to be kidding me! Jeez, he looks so pale and that hair. Not even old ladies have hair like that.

"Aww, he looks so widdle," cooed Mabel.

Dipper, on the other hand, didn't think the same thing.

"That's what's gotten Stan's ticked off about?" he asked, "Wow…I think Grunkle Stan might have been overreacting a bit."

"You know, this is one of the rare times that I'll agree with you Dorker," I whispered back.

Gideon then cleared his throat before speaking to the audience.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight! Such a gift."

Wow, I nearly threw up in my mouth on that one.

"I have a vision right now," he said, "I predict that you will soon all say, "aww" very shortly." He then did this mini twirl before turning to face us, doing those Bambi eyes and fluttering them at us.

Everybody in the audience went 'aww'. Everybody…except two people that is.

"Boring."

"Not impressed."

Just then Gideon turned to his right as we all saw his father, Bud Gleeful, at a piano. "Hit it dad!"

Bud just started to play the piano as well as had like a few other band members join in and began to play…are they seriously playing evangelical church music?!

" _Oh, I can see, what others can't see_

 _It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability "_

Oh goodie, a cheesy song. Hooray, how exciting….

" _Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined_

 _And you too could see, if you was widdle ol' me!_ "

I can see myself exiting the door soon.

" _Come on, everybody, rise up! I want y'all to keep it going! "_

That's it I'm-WOAH!

"Dude, why are we standing?!"

"How should I know Wendy?!"

Gideon then hopped off the stage and started to mingle with the audience, who seemed very enthralled and getting into it.

He then went up to some elderly woman with a cat on her lap.

" _You wish your son would call you more! "_

The elderly woman simply nodded her head. "I'm going to leave everything to my cats."

The cat simply meowed in compliance.

Gideon then went up to…Sheriff Blubs?! What the hell is he doing here?!

" _I've sense that you've been here before! "_

"Oh what gave it away?" asked Blubs, who happened to be covered in head-to-toe with Tent of Telepathy merchandise (wow, just wow).

My jaw dropped in the sheer amount of bullshit I just witnessed. Dipper was in the same boat as me.

"Oh come on! Really?!"

Then, Gideon came our way as he stopped in front of…Mabel?

" _I'll read your mind if I'm able_

 _Something tells me you're named Mabel_ "

I didn't think it was possible but Mabel was absolutely shell-shocked.

"How'd he do that?"

Both Dipper and mine jaw dropped even more as on Mabel's sweater was her *pucking* name in big bold letters on her chest.

Gideon then did a bunch of backflips before landing on the stage as he smiled at everybody.

" _So welcome all ye…to the Tent of Telepathy! "_

He then stopped singing as he then got that creepy Bambi eyes look on his face.

"And thanks for visiting…widdle ol' me."

It took a few seconds before then everybody saw him sweating profusely and panting hard as some of the stage hands rushed over to check on him and bring him some water. The curtain then dropped as the crowd just erupted with cheer as if they had seen the greatest thing ever.

However amidst the crowd, there were two people laughing there head's off at Gideon. Yours truly…and…Dipper? Wow, didn't see that one coming.

We then heard on Bud speak on the intercom.

"There'll be a meet 'n greet in just a few minutes folks. Be sure to get whatever you want signed, includin' any Tent of Telepathy merchandise, n' Gideon will be ready to sign it or take a picture wit' you."

Everybody rushed over to the merchandise booth as I just looked at the others. "I'm gonna bounce."

"And miss the meet and greet?" asked Soos.

"Yup. Tell me how it went tomorrow."

With that, I made my way to the exit of the tent and just head on outside.

Once outside, I got out my phone and saw I had a text from Tambry.

'Yo Wendy'

'What up Tam?' Send.

My phone then got a message back.

'At that Tent of Telepathy wit Thompson.'

'No way. I'm outside the ToT right now.' Send.

My phone then got another message back.

'Sweet. Just waiting on Thompson n we'll meet u in a few.'

'Awesome. See ya in a bit.' Send.

I then pocketed my phone as then out of nowhere, I saw Dipper exit the tent. I couldn't help but smirk.

"Did Stan find out that you're here?" I asked.

He then turned to see me before….before chuckling?

"To be honest, I'd take a lecture from Stan than spend another minute in that tent."

He then walked over to me, fixing his hat and vest. "I mean, come on! That wasn't psychic at all. He just made quick observations and just ad-libbed them into his cheesy song." He then let out another chuckle. "I can see why Stan's jealous. That kid's a bigger showboat than he is. Guess Stan's ego isn't a big fan of that."

I don't know why but…but…I just let out a small chuckle.

"I know right. I mean, Stan's stuff is so much believable and he just super glues stuff onto stuffed animals and objects."

We then looked to see a poster of Gideon nearby with a big smile on his face.

"I wish Stan would glue Gideon's mouth shut. Be totally worth the price of admission," joked Dipper.

…pfft…*snerk*…*snerk*…

Out of nowhere, we both just let out this loud laughter that last a few minutes. I mean, that would be hilarious to see Stan glue Gideon's mouth shut. It would make things so much better!

After a few minutes of laughing, we stopped as then Dipper looked at me. "Well I better head back inside and make sure Soos didn't buy anything for Stan. We gotta cover our tracks you know."

"Oh yeah, otherwise he'll just bitch and bitch and bitch some more like a high school girl," I replied back, inducing a small hearty chuckle from the both of us.

"Later."

"Later dude."

Dipper then ducked back inside the tent as I just stood there. Then it dawned on me what just happened.

I mean, we just had our first conversation and there was no mention of the supernatural, no outside annoyances, no Stan, no Mabel, no…nothing. Just us two shooting the shit and having fun doing it. It was….kind of fun. Maybe…just maybe…he isn't such an annoying dork. Maybe he's…pretty cool once you get to know him...I guess.

A few minutes later, I saw Tambry and Thompson come out of the tent. Surprisingly enough, Tambry was on her phone as Thompson was carrying a Gideon plushie and a poster while wearing a Gideon wig hat.

"Hey Wendy! You came to the Tent of Telepathy too?" asked Thompson.

"Yeah, I saw it on TV and I needed a good laugh," I casually replied.

Thompson just laughed. "Are you kidding, it was awesome! That Gideon kid was so talented. I can't believe such a widdle, adorable guy is a psychic."

Tambry just let out an 'ugh' sound before rolling her eyes.

"So what brought you to the Tent of Telepathy?" I asked her.

"Thompson needed the company."

"Yeah. Thanks Tambry, you're the best," said Thompson as patted her on the back.

"Don't touch me please."

"Sorry." Thompson then looked at me. "I was gonna round up Lee, Nate, and Robbie and head to the drive-in? You want in?"

"Hell yeah dude," I replied, "Let's head on out."

Tambry looked up and grinned. "Awesome."

We then loaded up into Thompson's van before driving off to pick up the others.

However along the way, I just couldn't get what happened between myself and Dipper. Was it because I was starting to get used to him? Was I actually opening my eyes to see how chill he really is? What was it? (Sure as hell wasn't jealousy because of that brunette…oh bite me, it wasn't!) Still I wondered was it going to be just a one-time thing or…or maybe it could be the start of something…who knows? Who knows?

So the next day came as we were back at the Mystery Shack doing our own thing whether it was work, trying to work, or-

"Hey guys, check it out! I bedazzled my entire face! Blink…Ow…"

-bedazzling your entire face (is that even safe to do?).

"Is…Is that permanent?" asked Dipper, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe. Blink…Ow…"

Well I won't lie. I'm a little impressed by Mabel. It must take real talent to bedazzle your entire face including the eyelids. Also, I'm a little concerned given the fact that sooner or later, that's all gonna have to come off or she'll end up as Mystery Shack attraction.

Just then there was a knock on the door followed by the doorbell ringing.

Wait? Why is somebody ringing on the…wait, that's right. The Mystery Shack is also Stan's home. That explains why Stan's just walking around in his sleeveless under shirt and boxers. Now if you excuse I'm about to go bedazzle my eyes so I would never have to see that again. 😃

"I got it," hollered Mabel as she went to the front door.

Me, I just went back to…to…wait, what was I doing again? Meh, I'm probably still on break or something. Yeah, that sounds about right. Off to the back to grab a snack.

Unfortunately, at the fridge…was Stan. Stan in all of his glory…

….

….

….

Well break time was over, back to working the register.

"Hey, who's at the door?" asked Stan, turning to face me.

"I don't know dude but put on a pair of pants please!" I replied back, covering my face to prevent even more mental scarring.

Stan just rolled his eyes. "A man's home is his castle. He is to be free and-wow, that's the fastest I've seen her get back to work. Meh, there is hope for her after all. Not for you Mr. Turkey club! *CHOMP* *CHOMP*"

Meanwhile, Dipper walked back into the main area of the Shack as he just happened to pass by a redhead with her face inside a random magazine at the counter, trying so desperately hard to forget the horrible sight she just saw.

"He started to give the 'a man's home is his house' didn't he?"

"Yup and we shall never speak of it…ever."

"Fair enough…by the way? Where's Mabel?"

"Dude, she probably took a walk somewhere…actually that sounds like a good idea. Be back in 10. Watch my post. Cool. Thanks. Later." And off I went for a quick stroll.

After take the time to clear my head and burn any mental images I didn't want to have, I strolled back into the Mystery Shack only to find…to find…to…find…Wow.

"Hey Dorker, who's the girl with the perm and nails and makeup and-that's Mabel under all that, isn't it."

I only saw a nod from Dipper and then a big grin by the star of the hour.

"Yup, I look like a wolverine. Rawr Rawr Rawr! Hiss!"

Out of nowhere, Stan just ran out of the Mystery Shack, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"THERE'S A WOLVERINE IN MY HOUSE! SOMEBODY CALL 911 OR THE LOCAL NEWS ASAP!"

Please tell me I won't act like that when I'm that old. But there was a million dollar question that had to be asked.

"So Mabel, where did you get the new look?"

"Oh, Gideon wanted to discuss something with me and we did it over getting my nails and our hairs done at the beauty salon." Mabel then giggled. "He's such a little dapper man."

Right, dapper. Knew something was wrong with him.

"Um, Mabel…don't you think that Stan will blow his gasket if he finds out you're hanging out with Gideon?" asked Dipper, a hint of concern in his voice.

"You're not gonna nark on her man, are you?" I asked.

"No, I'm not gonna…wait, nark? How old are you?"

Before a fist was thrown and connected with a face (hey, he broke one of the taboos of women! He deserved it!), Mabel just cleared her throat.

"Relax, it's just a play date. I mean, I really don't have many people to hang out with and do girly stuff."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Dipper.

"I mean, Stan is busy doing Grunkle stuff, Wendy has her friends she hangs with and do Wendy stuff, and you got Soos to do guy stuff with."

Dipper just that 'pssh' sound and that 'pssh' motion with his hand. "That's nonsense."

Then as if on cue, Soos just ran into the room.

"Dipper dude, I just bought this plump hot dogs that are about to expire. Wanna pop them one at a time in the microwave on full blast?"

Instinctively, Dipper did a big grin. "Heck yeah! Wooo!"

He then ran off with Soos as they head into the back. The next thing Mabel and I heard were the sounds of the microwave going, the sound of hotdogs exploding, and then the chanting of 'One-at-a-time! One-at-a-time!' being chanted repeatedly.

"Well looks like Hotdog Sensei and his pupil are gonna be busy for a while, you want to grab-"

Suddenly my phone went off as I stopped what I was saying before taking the call.

"Yo, what up Robbie. Huh? No way! They did what?! Ha ha, man I wish I was there to see it! You're kidding, they're still going at it?! Dude! I gotta see this."

And like the teenager I am, I punched out before heading out the door.

"Later Mr. Pines be back tomorrow."

I mean, I had a reason to leave. Robbie and Lee were busy trying to wolf down Lazy Susan's Nacho Grande Supreme Nachoes and those things are ginormous. Not even my dad could finish them. Well, off to cheer them on, make fun of them for passing out, and steal a few nachos.

So the next day came by as I walked in at my usual punch-in time before heading to the register. It was a normal day. Customers came by, Stan did his little show, collect their money, and then they left. Rinse and repeat for the next couple of hours. However towards the end of the day, while I was busy decided movies, go-kart, or just go home, I overheard Mabel and Dipper discussing something.

It sounded like they were talking about dates and Gideon and what not. I just rolled my eyes and filed it under 'not my business, not giving a damn'. I mean it's their business right? Who am I to judge? It's not like anything bad is going to happen, right?

Well…the next day…

So on the way to work, I kept hearing a small buzz around town. Something about a big, big date. I just figured they were talking about some celebrity couple or something (probably something dealing with those…Khardasians…you know, that family that's famous for being whores or something. You know exactly who I'm talking about.)

After hearing the buzz going on, it finally got to me. I had to find out what the hell everybody was talking about. So I stopped off at the local gas station to pick up a paper.

*sigh* And of course I was greeted by…

"Hey hey sunshine. Care to brighten up my day?"

"Ugh, bite me Xavier."

….I should really go find another gas station that one of my exs is not working at.

Any who, I got the paper, opened it up and…uh oh…Stan is going to blow his lid.

When I got to the Mystery Shack, I saw Soos pull up next to me.

"Dude, did you see the paper?"

I merely showed Soos the newspaper that I was carrying in my possession.

"So you saw it too?"

I simply nodded my head.

"Oh wow, I didn't think Mabel had it in her."

And neither did Stan…until he found out after 3…2…1…

"HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES! WHAT IS THIS?!"

Yup right on cue. The next thing we know, we saw Stan march into where we were. In his right hand was today's Gravity Falls Gossiper and right on the front page was a random picture of Mabel and Gideon together.

"What the hell is Mabel doing holding hands with that shyster in the newspaper?!"

Of course Soos and I were the only ones there to hear him rant and rave (and curse, heh heh) about it as I just leaned back on my stool, reading my own paper.

"Well she's hanging out with him or something," I casually replied, "Apparently it's like a big deal since everybody in Gravity Fall was talking about it this morning. And according to the papers, they have another date tonight."

Cue another explosion in 3-

"THEY'RE DATING?! MY GREAT NIECE IS DATING GIDEON?!"

Hmm, he was early on that one.

"I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple," commented Soos, "Mabideon? Gideabel? Ooh! Ooh! How about Magidbeleon!

Uh, Soos. You're not help the situation right-holy shit dude! There's like a gazillion veins on Stan's temple and face right now. I gotta take a picture of this.

"Dipper! Mabel! Front and center!"

As if on cue, the twins appeared right in front of him as they were presented with today's paper.

"What is this? Hmm?!"

Dipper panicked. "Hey don't rope me into this. I didn't know she went on a date. Heck, I told her to not see him in the first place."

"Sellout," hissed Mabel under her breath.

"Nark," I whispered under my own.

Stan then gave Mabel a very angry look of disapproval. "I'll let this slide since you're haven't been here in Gravity Falls for at least a month. But I don't want you dating Gideon."

Mabel just did that 'psshaw' sound effect and that 'psshaw' hand wave. "Don't worry Grunkle Stan. I'll simply just tell Gideon I'm not interested in dating him. How hard can it be?"

Stan's frown then turned upside down….I can't believe I just said that.

"That's more like it. I'll hold your word to it. Come on Soos, I need help getting some things from town."

"You got it Mr. Pines."

Both Stan and Soos then left the Shack to do some errands as I was left with the twins (goddamn it, he left my in charge of babysitting! That crusty old-)

"Mabel, are you nuts?" questioned Dipper, "Why did you lie like that to Stan?"

Huh, come again?

"We both know you have an extremely hard time of saying 'no' to anybody."

Oh that's not good.

Mabel laughed. "Well I'm giving him hints and such that I'm not really interested in it….well….the first time I did…"

Oh boy, this definitely isn't good.

Dipper just rubbed his eyes with his index finger and thumb. "Do you want me to talk to Gideon and say you're not interested?"

…uh, come again? Did I just hear Dipper just seriously ask that?

"I got in under control bro-bro. Relax."

Three weeks later…I mean, the next day…

Yup, back again at the shack. Same shit, different day.

This time it was just Dipper and myself, which has been occurring a little bit too much for my liking. Especially the part where he's just reading some weird book journal thingy with a six-fingered hand on it.

I'll begrudgingly will admit…I uh…was actually curious to know…what he's reading about. So when tourist group left, I decided to ask the only way I could.

"Whattca reading there Dorker?"

Dipper just looked up from his book. "It's something very serious that only we smart city folk can comprehend."

A few weeks ago, that little comment would have garnished a confrontation. But for some odd reason, I just smirked.

"Well then Mr. Cityslicker, whattca readin' in dat der big book of yers?"

Then out of nowhere, we just burst out laughing at my really, really horrible impression of a 'country folk.'

"How long have you been practicing that one?" asked Dipper, trying to hold in a snicker.

"Always good to have it in your backpocket," I replied back, "But in all seriousness dude, you've been like staring at that book for a while. What's in it?"

"Well I got a whole summer to figure it out," replied Dipper, "But from what I read, it's like a journal log of some sort."

"Boooring."

"Ah give it a chance Wendy. I mean, who knows what awesome adventures are hidden in here." Dipper then grinned. "After all, don't knock it if you haven't tried it."

Oh my god, we're doing it again. It's like back at the Tent of Telepathy, just us shooting the shit. But I don't know why but what Dipper said to me kinda felt like a double meaning. But why though?

Before I could have another mental debate with myself, we both saw Mabel walk in with a depressed look on her face. Oh boy…

"Let me guess, you tried to say no but it didn't work out."

"It's not that," replied Mabel, "I just don't want to see him sad."

Dipper just sighed.

"Mabel, I just-wait, why do you have a lobster in your arms?" He then shook his head to regain his train of thought after being distracted for a few seconds (though I did have that same thought in my head to). "Do you have another date tonight?"

Mabel nodded her head.

Out of nowhere, Stan walked into the main area again.

"What's going on? I heard 'date' and 'no' and-why do you have a lobster in your arms?"

"Just cause," replied Mabel, putting it in a nearby fish tank.

"Did you get that from Gideon?"

There was a long pause as Mabel slowly nodded her head.

Then Stan exploded.

"That's it! No more mister nice Stan! I'm gonna march down to that Skunk's house, tell him to stay away from you, andmaybestealsomethingfromBudandsabotagehim."

Stan then marched out of the Shack, slamming the door behind him.

Dipper then looked at Mabel. "Why is it so hard for you to say no? It's so simple."

He then turned to look at me.

"Hey Wendy, you want to go on a date tonight?"

"Not even in your dreams," I replied back.

Dipper then looked to Mabel. "See. Simple."

"But what if he gets sad? I like him as a friend and I don't want to lose that."

Oh Mabel, you're too sweet for your own good.

"Just explain it to him," replied Dipper, "Maybe he'll listen to you and understand." He then smiled. "Remember that time when Mom wanted you to try out for soccer?"

"Yeah but I told her no because they wouldn't let me wear my soccer sweater," grumbled Mabel, "What about it?"

"Well you said no to that and Mom understood and didn't push you to do something you didn't want to," explained Dipper, "Just channel that."

Mabel's saddened look the disappeared as she got a determined look on her face. "You're right. I can do this! I can do this! I CAN DO THIS! RAWR!"

Mabel then let out a loud battle cry before running out of the Shack to go find and meet up with Gideon.

Dipper and I just looked at each other and then the door.

"Think she'll go through with it?" I asked.

"Hopefully cause I don't know if I have another pep talk in me at the moment," he replied back, going to the back to continue to read or play video games or do whatever he does (hey, I don't know what the dork does when he's back there. I'm not a stalker).

I just rolled my eyes before continuing to man the register.

Two days later…

(Oh, if you were wondering why two days later, it's because I decided to cash in a day off from work. Yeah, I get those from time to time. I'm not gonna bore you with what I did, just gonna hop right into things.)

Back at work, things were…..normal. Shocking, I know.

Well the only thing that was out of the ordinary was the fact that Mabel was gone for the morning and then came back. However unlike the past few days where she was slowly but surely becoming miserable by the day, she had the biggest smile on her face.

"Hello Mystery Shack crew!"

Ugh…I'm beginning to miss Miserable Mabel. At least she was quiet. But the good news was that Mabel was back to her normal loud, cheerful self. Maybe that pep talk Dipper gave her the other day really worked.

She then saw Soos and Dipper before skipping over to Dipper. She then gave him a big hug.

"Thanks again bro-bro. You're the best."

Mabel then skipped out of the Mystery Shack, humming to herself. It looked a little weird and all but this was Mabel so I figured it was normal for her to do that. But what was starting to make me curious was what she was thanking Dipper for. I was gonna ask but I decided not to. As if I needed to know what was going on. Pfft, I'm not that nosey.

So I ignored it…

I ignored it…

I ignored it…

I ignored it…

I ignored it…

…..UGH! Damn it! I have to know ugh! Grr…I know it's not any of my business but I have to know what happened (damn teenage curiosity!). I'm gonna have to find one of them and figure out what the heck had happened and-why is it so quiet in the Mystery Shack?

Just then Soos walked in from outside, carrying his toolbox. "Phew, that was an easy fix. All I had to do was screw in a little bolt, tighten a lugnut, and-"

"Hey Soos," I called out, kinda interrupting his little play-by-play of what he just did outside, "Have you seen the twins around?"

"Mabel is outside right now," replied Soos, "Also Dipper went out earlier. Something about meeting up with Toby Determined for an interview to discuss supernatural occurrences that may or may not have happened in Gravity Falls. Weird thing is that he's not back yet."

"Wait, then that means…Oh…OH…Grrr!"

Now normal Dipper is the one who sweeps up the floors of the Gravity Shack before Stan decides he's tired from scamming people out of their money and wants to call it a day (aka, closing time). However since Dipper left and hasn't come back…that fun little responsibility…gets bestowed…onto me.

Ergh…if I ever see that dork again, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind for totally ditching me to do his work.

So after I was done sweeping (gonna get him back for this), I decided to step out to get some fresh air. However instead of it being alone on the steps, I ended up seeing (and almost tripping over) Mabel. Before I could say anything, she had a somewhat depressed look on her face and was munching on her hair (before you ask why, I have no idea why either). So I tried to lighten up the mood.

"Hey, how's the hair tastin' buddy?"

Mabel stopped munching before looking at me.

"Hey Wendy, I need advice. You've broken up with guys, right?"

"Yeah. There was Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stoney Davidson, Pysche Wirley, Nate Holt, some dude that was on the football that had a lot of tattooes, Danny Feldman, Mark Epston, Xavier Da…vi…d…son…"

While I was rattling off names, Mabel just looked at me with a stunned look on her face.

"Woah…you dated all those guys?"

I just mentally winced because let's be honest…from an outside person, I sound like went through boyfriends more than a Khardasian (totally gonna use that line later, hehe).

"Well yeah and stuff," I replied back, "But it turns out that they were all egotistical jerks. So I broke up with all of them and been single ever since."

It was the truth. A majority of the guys I dated turned out to be egotistical jerks or decided to chase after other girls behind my back. Worse was whenever an ex saw me with a new boyfriend, they would fight over me like I was some sort of *pucking* trophy (UGH! I HATE THAT SO *PUCKING* MUCH!).

"Were any of them weird or like a little too clingy for your liking?"

"A few (especially Xavier) were," I replied back, "Why'd you ask? Was Gideon like that or something?"

A few nods of the head by Mabel answered that question. I couldn't help but mentally wince (as well as plot Gideon's downfall) after hearing that.

Then Mabel turned to look at me.

"Hey Wendy?"

"Yeah?"

"Was it the right move to let Dipper to break up with Gideon for me? I mean, I thought if I let him do that then things would be back to normal. But I feel so gross and icky and I don't know why."

That's why she was so happy before! Ugh! I can't believe Dipper did such a bonehead move that…that…wow…actually that was pretty bold of him really. I mean yeah, you can't send somebody else in your stead to break up somebody. But…that was…pretty rad of him doing that for Mabel.

I just looked back at Mabel before then giving her a dose of some good ol' fashion Corduroy advice.

"I'm gonna level with you Mabel. I know he had the best intentions but sending Dipper to break up with Gideon for you wasn't the best thing to do. I mean there are gonna be times where you can't fall back on him to help you. There are things that only Mabel can do and right now breaking up with Gideon was one of them. You get what I'm sayin'?"

For a few seconds, Mabel was processing what I just said to her. I mean yeah, it was a little blunt and could be considered harsh and insensitive by some.

"Hey Wendy…"

But sometimes you need a little kick in the right direction.

"You're right. I should have been the one to give Gideon an honest break-up instead of making Dipper do it." She then hopped off the stairs before puffing out her chest (not gonna lie, it looked very adorable). "I'm gonna go find Gideon and tell him the truth."

Mabel then took off before stopping just a few yards from me. She then looked at my direction and then giggled.

"Heh heh, that's the first time I heard you call bro-bro by his name. You must like him now huh."

I wanted to say no but I just found myself grinning back.

"Just go already will ya."

Mabel then took off as I just got up to stretch my back. I casually brushed off Mabel's last comment as a joke before going back inside to punch out. But as I was doing so, I could only look back at the door and sigh.

"Hope everything goes well with you Mabel. And…well…hope you're not stuck in the middle Dipper."

Next day at the shack,

Yup back at my boring job. Whoopie. I'm grabbing my summer life by the horns. Just chilling here while cashing out tourists who just keep pissing their money away buying knick knacks and crap.

Just then Mabel came walking in before coming behind the register counter. Out of nowhere, she just gave me a big hug before letting go after a few seconds.

"Thanks for the pep talk yesterday."

"You're welcome," I replied back.

"I feel so much better that I personally broke up Gideon. He was a complete jerk anyways. Now I gotta make like a banana and split over to the store to buy things for Grunkle Stan. Whomp whomp."

Mabel then head out the door as I just rubbed the back of my head, smiling. Glad that worked out for her.

Dipper then came into the shack as he…holy shit dude!

"Dude, where the hell did you get that shiner from?! Did you get that in fight? Was it from Gideon?"

Then for some odd reason, I went full Chernobyl.

"It was Gideon, that little shit! If I ever see him, I'm going to shave him bald and wear him like a *pucking* boot!"

He then just looked at me before sheepishly grinning.

"I would definitely love to see that," he replied, "But I got this from…walking into…a tree…"

I raised an eyebrow.

"You're not covering anything up are you?"

Dipper shook his head. "I was busy reading my journal and then when I looked up, bam. Pretty clumsy huh." He then did another chuckle as I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, that does sound clumsy."

Then out of nowhere, Dipper placed his journal on the counter before taking his shirt off (ugh dude! You could have just pulled it up! I didn't want to see…wow…that's a smooth chest) to reveal a giant bruise on his chest. "This is from Gideon."

*Ahem* Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to nuclear in 3…2…

"We had a discussion yesterday and settled it like gentlemen. No need to worry. I don't think he's gonna be trying to woo Mabel anytime soon."

Ladies and gentlemen, we were able to avert the meltdown. I repeat, we were able to avert the meltdown.

Dipper then put his shirt back on before grabbing his journal.

"Well I better take care of this before Stan thinks I got it in a fight and has me do boxing lessons."

He then walked away as I stood there behind the counter. I admit, I was experiencing some mixed feelings. On one hand, I wanted to tell him off on how thick-headed he was especially for getting into a scrum with Gideon (tch, 'discussion' my ass!). But on the other hand, it was pretty rad that he stuck up for his sister like that. I mean, he could have just ignored it but he didn't. That's actually pretty cool. Maybe he isn't such a little dork after all.

Then it kicked in that Dipper took his shirt off in front of me and I got a full glimpse of it.

…..

…..

…..

…and that's when my nose started to bleed profoundly.

* * *

Wendy: Ugh…that was exhausting.

Poyo: Hiya.

*suddenly both of them sees ZeroFox walk in*

Wendy: Wow, they let you out of jail already?

ZeroFox: Sort of…I mean I paid the bail and all. But as part of my probation, I gotta wear this shock collar on my neck. *reveals a shock collar on his neck*

Wendy: *is struggling not to laugh*

Poyo: Hiya?

ZeroFox: Well actually little guy…you…you don't want to- *gets cut off by a loud zap sound followed by a moan*

Harlic's voice: *zap* Oh yes Alucard-sama! Punish me more! *zap*

ZeroFox: Shit! END IT BEFORE OUR RATINGS GO UP! END IT NOW!


	10. Dipper Vs Manliness

Harlic: ERGH! WHERE THE HELL IS THAT IDIOT?!

Wendy: What do you mean?

Harlic: That blasted idiot has been missing for months now! He's got a responsibility to get this story done and he's off gallivanting somewhere! UGH!

Poyo: Hiya.

Harlic: I guess you're right young one. Might as well get on with the show.

Wendy: What about Zero?

Harlic: *is busy cuddling Poyo* F*** him. For all we know he could be out partying or on some idiotic adventure or flirting with some oppai women!

* * *

 _ **Meanwhile….**_

ZeroFox: *is passed out in a ditch in the middle of nowhere, half buried in dirt and leaves*

* * *

Disclaimer: _THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFIT FANFICTION! GRAVITY FALLS AND ITS CHARACTERS BELONG TO ALEX HIRSCH AND DISNEY. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE!_

* * *

It's funny how something starts off annoying the ever loving crap out of you can sometimes grow on you.

Take rap music for an example.

I used to think it was just some stupid genre with the same subjects being used over and over and over and over again. But after listening to some rap songs, it kinda grew on me. Although it will never take over my love for rock, punk, and metal…it gets a seat at the table.

The reason why I brought up this little thing was because…well…it's the best analogy to describe how I felt about one Dipper Pines.

I mean when he got to Gravity Falls with Mabel last month, I nearly wanted to slug him because he kept annoying the ever loving crap out of me. Between him complaining about the bugs and heat to the belief that Gravity Falls had some paranormal activity to it to the roping me into helping him explore an uncharted island and almost getting killed in the process, I was tempted to either knock out a tooth or just leave him in the woods.

But recently, something changed and I started to hate him less and less.

Maybe it was because he latched onto Soos a little more and didn't pester me with his tales of paranormal crap or what he thought he saw in the woods or what he read somewhere.

Or maybe…I actually took the time to just talk to the guy. Like small little chit-chats, nothing really special. But even though we had a couple of them, I guess I saw there was a little more to Dipper than I had previously thought.

Whatever the case may be, well…it's not so bad.

* * *

* _ **Insert the Gravity Falls Intro Theme**_ *

* * *

 **Chapter 6:**

 **Dipper Vs. Manliness**

So anyways, it was another boring day at the Mystery Shack. Customers came, customers went. Stan did his showman routine and collected money while the rest of us worked.

The only good thing about today was that it was Friday. Yup, it was Friday. The best day of the week not named Saturday or 'Taco Tuesday' (for some odd reason, tacos do taste better on Tuesdays).

But also the best part of Friday wasn't that it was just the beginning of the weekend. Rather, it was payday. So that meant that Wendy was going to have a kickass weekend with some money in her pocket.

So like a good little worker bee (keep the snickering to yourself), I manned the register. Occasionally Mabel popped by to sit on a stool next to me and watch me work. Of course, I had to lay the ground rules with her:

No talking loudly

No boy chasing

Watch, no touch

Though although she did somewhat complain about when I had to reiterate Rule #2 (but immediately stopped when I brought up Gideon), I thought Mabel did alright with me at the register.

But during the day, it seemed like I kept seeing Dipper doing all these strenuous work assignments. Whether it was carry a heavy box alone, walk into town without the Mystery Cart to get an item, or help Soos lift something to the third floor, Stan always made Dipper do it.

Now that I've been thinking about it, Dipper has done a lot of those work assignments for Stan lately. I mean, better him than me. But lately…I've been feeling kinda sorry for the guy. I mean, you know…just…you know…doing that stuff looks like it sucks doing it alone.

At one point during the day, Dipper came into the Mystery Shack. For some odd reason he was covered in sweat, dirt, and some sort of brown stuff (Please don't be fertilizer! Please don't be fertilizer!). So like the concerned person that I am, I decided to ask what's up.

"Dude, why are you so sweaty and…ugh…what is that smell?"

Dipper just looked at me.

"Stan is making me spread mulch on a flower bed he just built. Thinks it'll attract more female customers."

He then wiped some sweat off his brow.

"How hot is it outside? Feels like 100*F."

I just looked at my phone.

"It says it's 82*F outside right now."

I got another good whiff of sweat and mulch before coughing (nearly threw up in my mouth from the stench! Yuck!).

Dipper then let out a small exhale.

"Well I'm gonna go grab some water before Stan-"

"Hey Dipper," bellowed an all-too-familiar voice, "I need you out here right now to help me move these rocks."

Dipper just groaned before turning to go back outside.

"Yo dude!"

Dipper turned to face me, only to catch a water bottle tossed at him.

"Drink up."

He then sheepishly smiled at me.

"Thanks for the water Wendy."

I just looked at him (damn it, why does he look adorable like that?!).

"Well can't say I'm not nice to you," I replied back, "And dude, no offense but you stink like hell."

"My bad," apologized Dipper, rubbing the back of his head, "Stan's

"Apology accepted," I casually replied back, "Now either hurry up and chug it or take that outside before I pass out from your smell."

Dipper then popped the cap of his water bottle and then proceeded to chug it. I mean, like, gulp the whole bottle down in the blink of an eye (wow, talk about thirsty).

After he was done, the little guy (Why are you looking at me like that? He is technically shorter than me) just tossed me back the bottle. By toss, I mean try to underthrow an empty plastic bottle and not even make it half way back to the register counter.

I would have made a little comment about that but I was too dumbfounded by the fact he just chugged that entire water bottle in front of me.

"I was only kidding when I said you had to chug it," I said, reaching back to get another water bottle.

Instead of tossing it over to him, I walked over and simply handed Dipper the water bottle.

"Now don't go drink all that at once dude. Save it when you're really thirsty outside."

Dipper just simply laughed and smiled.

"I owe you one Wendy," he replied before going back outside.

I simply rolled my eyes.

"Whatever."

I picked up the empty water bottle before walking back to my post at the register to plop my butt down on the stool and continue reading my magazine.

For the next couple of hours, I had to deal with customers who came in and complained about the smell inside the Mystery Shack. Well it didn't smell of roses to begin with but the stench of a sweaty, mulch covered boy still lingered which did start to smell really bad. Unfortunately at one point, Stan got wind of the stench.

"Woof! What's that smell? It smells like Taco Tuesday at the Greasy Diner."

"Did somebody say tacos?! I could go for some tacos right now!"

"Do that on your own time Soos."

I looked over to my cantankerous boss.

"Beats me," I replied, flipping the page of my magazine.

"Well somebody better do something about that smell. I gotta go check on Dipper and see if he's done filling up that man-made pond I had him dig out back yesterday."

Woah, hold on! Dipper did WHAT?!

Before I even could have a chance to ask why the hell was there such a…you know what, forget it. Knowing Stan, it could be just some ploy to put some fake sea monsters in to wow tourists into giving him more money. Still though, forcing your great nephew to do that is a li-*COUGH!* *COUGH!* *COUGH!* Wha-What's that-*COUGH!* *COUGH!* Can't…breathe…

"All done! Now it smells like a flower garden in here. Thanks Mr. Spraybottle."

" _Just doing my thing Mabel_. *Fsst* Fsst*"

"Oh you. Say it, don't _**spray**_ it. Ha ha!"

*COUGH!* WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT GIRL?! *COUGH!* NEED AIR!

So after desperately opening a window to let some fresh air in, I just plopped back on my stool to try and come to terms that Mabel unwittingly emptied an entire spray bottle of air freshener in the shack. I mean, I would have gone no further than half the bottle but the entire bottle was a little too much.

Still it did the job and the stink was gone. Now I could get on with the rest of my 'fun-filled' day of work. Hooray me. (Yes…Yes I was being sarcastic).

Towards the end of my shift, my phone went off. I looked over to see it was a text from Robbie.

'Yo Wendy. Gonna hit up bowling alley with the gang 7. You in?'

I texted back.

'Sure dude. I'll let you guys know when I'm out of work.'

A couple of minutes later, I get a text back.

'Cool. I'll let others know.'

With my Friday night plans already made, I could only wait until that damn clock hit quitting time.

But first…

*Brring* *Brring* *Brring*

*Click*

"You've reached the voicemail of 'WHAT THE BLAZES AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?! IS IT RECORDING OR-' Please leave a message after the beep."

*Beep*

Heh, that never gets old.

"Yo dad, it's Wendy. I'm gonna meet up with my friends after work. Probably gonna go grab some dinner with them as well so no need to make me a plate or anything. Later."

And hanging up now. I may be a teenage girl and all and I like hanging out with friends but family always comes first (yes, even the three little dweebs but do not tell them that whatsoever!). With that being said, I hung up the phone and proceeded to finish out the rest of my shift.

So when closing time came, I simply used my time card to clock out and made my way to the do-hold it! Hold it! I didn't not just think about walking out of here without getting paid. First thing first, getting my money.

"Yo Stan, you around? I'd like to get paid please like sometime this century." (What? Oh don't give me that look. I said 'please' alright.)

Hmm…no response. Let's check the office.

"Hello? Stan? Are you in here?"

Nothing. *sigh* Damn it, he better not have left my check in the safe. I don't know the combination nor do I feel like trying to break into it.

As I turned around to leave the room, I happened to notice Mabel walking past me licking a freezy pop.

"Hey Mabel, have you see Stan around?"

"Oh he's outside on the back porch with Soos watching Dipper try to chop firewood," was the response followed by some licking sound and then an 'Mmmm…Grapey goodness'.

…..

You know, I guess I could stick around longer. The thought of a city kid like Dipper trying to chop wood for like the first time ever should provide some sort of entertainment. Also I might as well try to be the sensible one of having a cell phone to dial 9-1-1 in case something goes wrong because knowing the guy, he'll probably lob off a limb. (seriously folks, wood chopping with an axe is dangerous and should only be left to those who…why do I sound like a PSA?)

So I made my way to the back porch and wouldn't you know, Stan and Soos were busy watching Dipper chopping wood. I had this feeling I came into the tail end of a conversation as Soos seemed very entranced of what our fearless (and apparently pants less) leader has to say.

While they were finishing up talking about who cares what, I happened to notice Dipper sloppily attempting to chop a log. On his right were a mound of unchopped logs. On his left were just a handful of split logs in a small pile. I was expecting to just get a good laugh at Dipper Bunyan but I felt more of just pity.

I'm mean seriously, it's not rocket science to chop wood. You just carefully set a log, carefully aim, raise up, and bring down. Hell, Thurman could chop wood before he learned to walk. In fact everybody in my family learned to properly chop wood before we could walk.

I had enough and thankfully Stan and Soos finished up their chat.

"Yo Stan, got a minute?"

Both Soos and Stan looked at me.

"Hey Wendy, you want to watch Dipper chop wood too?" asked Soos.

"I'm good, thanks Soos."

"Then what are you here for?" asked Stan.

"Because it's Friday and that means payday," I replied, a big grin on my face.

For a few seconds, Stan had a completely confused look on his face. Then it dawned upon him what I was talking about.

"Oh right, you want to get paid."

"Gasp, how did you know that? Are you psychic?"

Stan just rolled his eyes and grunted.

"Har har har, very funny."

He then got up to go back inside.

"*grumble* *grumble* Smart alec teenagers! *grumble* *grumble* No respect for their elders! *grumble* *grumble* Back in my day…*grumble* *grumble*" (I honestly counted like 8 'grumbles' in that sentence)

That left Soos and myself to watch Dipper struggle to continue to chop wood. The sad part was that it seemed like he was able to split like every 5 attempts. The other times, the log would get stuck on the axe blade like peanut butter on the roof of a dog's mouth.

"Personally, I think he should just stop trying and call it a day before he hurts himself," I commented to Soos but not loud enough for Dipper to hear me.

"Maybe you could show him a few pointers," suggested my Hispanic friend, "After all, you're like the best log chopper in Gravity Falls not named 'Manly Dan'."

We then watched to see Dipper try to chop a log but then the log fell off the stump he was working on and hit his foot. The dude let out a small yelp of pain before holding his foot, hopping around like a cartoon character.

Now normally I would let out a few chuckles and snicker like crazy. But after watching Dipper struggle for the past few minutes, I just all but had enough of watching the train wreck in motion.

"Even if I did, he'll still find a way to screw up."

"Oh you're overreacting," chuckled Soos, "Why I bet you two would be perfect…bud…"

As soon as he said 'you two', my head slowly turned to face Soos to give him one of those 'No dude, just no' face expressions followed by a shake of my head.

Thankfully I heard the usual 'You got 5 minutes to get this paycheck or else it's going back in the safe' bluff by Stan. I then turned to go back inside.

"Later Soos, see you next week."

"Okay. You take care dude."

As I walked back into the shack, I actually overheard Soos sigh under his breath, 'I wish she was nicer to Dipper. Then we could all hang out and be cool and have fun.' It stung hearing him say that but…but…No! Oh no! I'm not letting this feeling of guilt and crap get the best of me.

I'm gonna get my paycheck, deposit it, and then go have fun with my friends. I'm not going to let what Soos said bother me nor am I going to let any sort of feelings of pity towards Dipper (which I don't have!) distract me all night.

…

…

GOD DAMN IT! UGHHHHH!

It did distract me all night! Soos and the Dipper pity! UGH! I didn't think it was possible but it threw me off so bad, I kept getting last place in bowling! Usually I win a few games but I did so bad that Lee had to ask if I was okay.

*sigh* Damn it, I just…*sigh*…maybe Soos was right. Maybe I should be nicer to Dipper. He's already taking a beating from Stan's slave labor chores. Why knock a dude down even further.

So after bowling with my friends, I head back to my place. When I got in, I got greeted with a bear hug that almost broke my spine in half.

"Hey there pumpkin! You're home early!"

Spine…shattering…ribs…puncturing lungs…

After a hellish few seconds of getting crushed, my dad finally let go of me.

"Hey dad…what's up?"

My dad then just grinned.

"Well I got paid the big bucks today ha ha! All that overtime paid off!"

For the record, my dad has a few mottos when it comes to work. One of which is, and I quote, 'When you're working late each time, always focus on how big your paycheck is going to be on payday' and oh did he work late this past week.

My dad then continued to talk to me.

"Well I already got some plans with the boys tomorrow but I was figuring that we could do some breakfast, my treat."

"Hell…"

"Language Gwendolyn…"

"Eh…heh heh…my bad dad. Uh sure, breakfast tomorrow sounds amazing."

"Great. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning."

With that, he gave me a small peck on the cheek before heading to his room.

"Night Wendy."

"Night dad."

I was gonna play some video games but then I got hit by a tsunami of tiredness. So I just trudged upstairs to my room, changed into my pajamas, hopped under my covers, and embraced the world of sleep with arms wide open.

" _Oh no!_ " gasped Sailor Venus, " _We cannot beat this monster sent by Queen Beryl_!"

" _Gwa ha ha ha ha ha_!" laughed a giant ogre-like creature with tentacles for arms, " _I have you Sailor Senshi right where I want you_! _Prepare to die_!"

" _Is there anybody who can save us_?" asked Sailor Mercury.

" _Fear not you guys_! _I'm here to help_!" exclaimed an all too-familiar voice.

Leaping down from a building was none other than a certain redhead wearing a flannel Sailor Senshi uniform.

" _It's Sailor Wendy_!" beamed Sailor Moon, " _I knew you'd come to the rescue_."

Sailor Wendy then got out her trusty Crescent Moon hatchet before getting into a striking stance.

" _Prepare yourself monster. For in the name of love, justice, and flannel, I will defeat you_!"

She then leapt into the air as her weapon then began to glow brightly.

" _Lunar Crescent Chop_!"

Sailor Wendy then prepared to deliver her devastating attack to the monster as she-

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

Ugh…I just had to wake up right before the good part too. (also hot damn, I rocked that senshi fuka like a boss!)

I immediately sat up, eyes wide open as my alarm clock went off. I just got up to turn it off before letting out a yawn.

9:30 a.m.

I then made my way out of my room and in the direction of the bathroom to clean up. Along the way, I bumped into my dad, who was already dressed and ready for the day.

"You almost ready for breakfast?"

"Yeah…just let me hop in the shower quickly."

"Okay, I'll be waiting in the living room."

My dad then turned to go downstairs as I got to the bathroom door.

I had my hand on the knob and was about to twist it before I heard my Alex call out 'Hey, somebody's in here' as I stopped what I was doing.

"Yo dweeb, how long are you going to be in there?" I called out.

"Just a minute or two Wendy, chill," replied Alex's voice.

"Well don't use up all the hot water," was my response, "Save some for the rest of us, okay?"

"Okay mom," replied Alex's voice.

UGH! Sometimes I wish I was an only child. The worse part was that a minute or two turned into almost 15. (note to self, buy a house with multiple bathrooms after I hit the lottery)

Another 5 minutes later, Alex came out wrapped up in two towels.

"All yours Wendy."

I rolled my eyes.

"Hopefully you saved me some towels," I sarcastically replied before taking one step in-*splash*

….ugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

"Hey genius, the point of the tub is to keep the water from going out onto the floor."

"My bad," was the response.

I just let out a frustrated sigh before going into the bathroom and closing the door. Unlike Alex, I didn't take too long in the shower. Like 7 minutes tops (see! Not all girls take forever in the shower!). After which, I wrapped myself in a towel before taking another towel to wipe up some of the puddles Alex 'left behind' for me.

Once I wasn't dripping any more, I quickly brushed my teeth before heading back to my room to fully dry off and change into some clothes. Since it was still a little brisk, I decided to go with my usual jeans and flannel outfit (if it ain't broke, why fix it) before getting my hat and heading downstairs to the living room.

My dad was the first one to great me while Thurman and Jason were busy watching cartoons.

"You ready Wendy?"

"You bet dad."

He then looked at my two younger brothers.

"I'll be back later. Make sure you're all fully dressed by the time I return."

"Okay dad," was the response as they continued to watch whatever they were watching.

Both my dad and I just headed on out to his pick-up truck. We got in, buckled up, and then head on over to the Greasy Diner.

Once there, we saw that the parking lot was packed.

"Wow, looks like everybody had the same idea as you dad," I commented.

"If we walk, it'll be good exercise," replied my dad.

Luckily we found a spot that was relatively close to the entrance before parking in it. We got out, walked up to the door, and then walked inside.

Well I was right. A lot of people were having their breakfast right now as the whole place was packed. Luckily we found two empty seats at the countertop as our butts planted firmly on the stools. As soon as that happened, both my dad and I were greeted up Lazy Susan.

"Well if it isn't my favorite Lumberjack and Lumberjill father-daughter duo."

My dad chuckled.

"You guys are sure busy today and it's not even a Sunday breakfast rush."

Lazy Susan just laughed.

"Well we got some good eats going so that's good for us. Now what can I get for you two?"

"I'll have my usual 'Manly Lumberjack Special' with extra bacon," my dad said.

"I'll have my usual too," I added.

"Okie dokie. One Lumberjack Special with extra squeal and a Lumberjill comin' right up."

She then wrote down the order to give to the chefs in the back to cook up before pouring us a cup of coffee. After which, she then left to go assist the other diner patrons.

While we sat and drank our coffee while waiting for our breakfast, my dad and I decided to shoot the shit for a while. Mostly we talked about what we were up to with work as I mentioned on how Stan's grandniece and grandnephew were visiting and actively working in the Mystery Shack as well.

My dad just bellowed with laughter as he made a comment on how he wasn't too surprised that Stan did that. He did mention that he was surprised that I was able to hold onto my job for as long as I did (little over 3 weeks give or take a day). But then he added he was very proud of that and how it showed I was becoming a responsible young lady (yup, go me baby!).

Sometime later on, our food was brought to us as the smell of cooked eggs, corn beef hash, hash browns, and bacon made both of our mouths watered. We each hungrily dug in to our food as the sounds of chewing and forks hitting the plate was heard on our end.

After devouring half my breakfast, I saw that my coffee cup was refilled with that magical, delicious-

"Oh hi there little fella. I remember you from the other day."

…oh you got to be kidding me!

I glanced over to a booth on the opposite side of the diner to see Stan, Mabel, and Dipper sitting in it. I honest to god think that they are stalking me! Part of me was tempted to report them to Blubs (who just happened to be sitting like a few stools over with Durland) as a joke but they were in the middle of some important police work (goddamn Blubs can pack away a stack of pancakes).

Luckily for me, the location of was on the right side of my dad and I was sitting on his left, thus blocking their line of view from my seat.

Still, I could overhear them talking a little bit. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop or anything, just that my hearing is very acute…when I want it to be…which happened to be now (hey, I was only just making sure that Mabel didn't spot me that's all).

Sure enough, I could overhear them talking about how 'manly' Dipper was.

First off, PFFFTTTT! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Second, nobody 'manly' listens to BABBA! There is nothing manly about an Icelandic pop band. Okay, I seriously need to get that guy to listen to some quality music. I'll start him off with a classic like the Led Zeppelin II before then diving into some of the heavier stuff like Pantera.

Ohh, maybe he could come over and we could rock out to some Black Sabbath afterwards while we play some video games and…and…and…and where the hell did that come from? Is my coffee spiked? Tell me my coffee is spiked.

"Hey Wendy, is there something in your coffee?"

"Huh?"

"You're staring at it like something's in it."

Uh…shit. Didn't realize that I was legitimately checking out my coffee and my dad just happened to notice.

"Just making sure a piece of bacon didn't fall in," I lied.

"Oh I hate it when that happens," replied my dad, "The coffee always spoils the bacon by making it soggier than what it normal should be."

My dad then went back to eating the rest of his breakfast while I just sat there, wondering if I was suffering from a food coma or a caffeine rush that caused me to suddenly think how awesome it would be to hang out with Dipper (caffeine rush, definitely caffeine rush).

Then out of nowhere, I saw Dipper point to the…oh for petesake dude! Why are you pointing at the strength test machine? Ugh…you've got to be kidding me.

For those who are not aware with what a strength test machine is, it's one of those grip testing game machines. The harder you squeeze, the higher your level is of whatever you are trying to do (i.e. love grip, strength grip, et al).

The Greasy Diner has one of those machines but there's also a little perk that comes with it. That perk is basically who ever get the top score on it, aka 'Manly Man of Manliness!' level, gets a free giant stack of pancakes. Very rarely do people get that score. I mean the closest I got by myself was like 'Lumberjack'.

So I guess to prove how 'manly' he was to Stan and Mabel, Dipper decided to give it a try. I guess it became a big deal because as soon as he walked past all the booths and the stools at the countertop, everybody began to watch and see what he was about to do.

Luckily he didn't see me or anything. This is not going to end well for him at all. Still…he's gotta have at least one person in his corner.

"Good luck dude."

"Huh?"

Oh crud, he's looking around now. Please don't look this way! Please don't look this way!

"Eh, could have sworn I heard Wendy in here. Probably just hearing things."

Phew. Got off for now.

So Dipper made his way over to the machine, inserting a quarter into the coin slot. The machine then turned on for an active game as the dude just cracked his knuckles, taking a deep breathe and exhale.

"Okay, time to show these people how manly Dipper Pines is."

With that, Dipper grabbed the handle and squeezed as hard as he could. The lights on the machine then began to light up as they started to go up the different levels.

I watched on, along with everybody else, except I was secretly rooting for him to succeed. For a brief moment I thought he would.

But then all the lights went out as it just plummeted back to *sigh* the first level, which was known as 'Cutie Patootie'.

"What?! Cutie Patootie? Dang machine is busted!"

And like a stubborn fool, Dipper placed in another quarter into the machine for another session. However just a few seconds later…

"Oh come on! Cutie Patootie again?"

They say futility is repeating the same failed process over and over again but expecting a different result each time. What we were all witnessing in the Greasy Dinner for the next few minutes was just that.

After inserting one last quarter into the machine and getting one last 'Cutie Patootie' card, Dipper just gave the machine a small kick.

"Stupid machine. It's either busted or rigged."

Before anybody could say anything or before Lazy Susan could lecture Dipper on not to kick the machine, I happened to notice that my dad was standing behind Dipper. I had to hold in a snicker just by seeing the vast size difference between the two (picture a remote control toy car in front of an actual car. It was something like that).

Dipper just looked at my dad as he shook his head.

"I wouldn't even bother with it. The thing is broken. It's like a million years old, probably ran out of steam power or something."

"Is that so?"

My dad then just inserted his own quarter into the machine to activate his session. He then took his left index and middle finger and gave the handle a squeeze.

The lights then lit up faster than a peregrine falcon dive bombing at 180 mph out of the sky to swoop down and pick off its prey in its talons before it could react and…okay, where did that little Animal Planet tidbit come from?

Any who, the machine's lights went all the way up to 'Manly Man of Manliness' level before the whole thing short-circuited. Like it went into overload and then shut down on itself.

My dad then turned to face everybody as he had a big triumphant grin on his face.

"All right! Free pancakes for everybody!"

The whole diner cheered and hollered at what just occurred. That is except for three people: Dipper, who was utterly dismantled and crushed, Mabel, who was concerned on how her brother's wellbeing, and…well…me.

Normally I could have cared less but I just couldn't believe the stunt my dad just pulled. I get it, you're called 'Manly' Dan for a reason dad. You didn't have to *pucking* show up Dipper like that! Not cool in the…wow, where did that anger come from?

*sigh*

Calm down, just calm down. Don't let dad see you angry at him, he'll suspect something that you don't want to talk about.

Needless to say, I didn't eat my share of free pancakes (I ended up giving them to my dad saying I was full from my breakfast).

After my dad paid for our meal, we both got back in his truck and head back home. Along the way, my dad just simply said he, and I quote, 'didn't understand why boy thought the machine was broke when it was perfectly fine,' end quote. Whatever dad.

Still though, I think that was the first time I've ever seen Dipper so publicly embarrassed like that. It wasn't funny or anything. Maybe I'm just looking into things way too deep but he had this look in his eye like a scared little fawn that doesn't know what to do. It's as if he was in a similar situation in the past one too many times. *sigh* I guess the only right thing to do would be to apologize to him.

So when we got back, I simply went upstairs into my room to chill for a bit until my dad left with all three of my brothers. Once they did that, I just wrote a note on the table saying I went out for a bit in case they were wondering where I went. After which, I went out to my bike before hopping on and pedaled my way over to the Mystery Shack.

Along the way, I was trying to formulate an apology to Dipper that was both sincere but at the same time not try to make it seem l was gonna be buddy-buddy with him just yet. One step at a time people, one step at a time.

When I got to the Mystery Shack, I hooked up my bike to the bike rack that Stan made Dipper build the other day before walking to the front door.

Okay Wendy, you can do this. Just apologize and be on your way. Don't stick around for anything. Just get in, apologize, and then get out. Don't get distracted or anything and don't let yourself fall into any traps.

You got this, you got this, you-

"Uh, am I interrupting anything important right now you guys?"

What I walked into, I did not prepare myself for. In the living room where you can somewhat walk in, Mabel was busy with Stan, who was pants less (what a surprise), and Soos, who apparently was wearing makeup and dressed in drag.

Immediately Mabel ran up to me, holding onto my hands.

"Thank goodness you're Wendy. I need all the help I could get with this one."

"Help with what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You don't have to go into full detail Mabel," said Stan, looking a little panicky at the moment.

"Stan has a crush on Lazy Susan and Mabel is trying to help him become a gentleman so he will be able to go out with Lazy Susan with no problems," informed Soos.

If looks could kill, Soos would be a pile of ashes on the floor with the glare Stan was giving him.

"What's wrong? I thought it was okay for me to say because you said-"

"Can it Soos!"

"Canning now Mr. Pines."

Wow. There is a whole level of *pucked* up stuff going on right now. If I walked out now, I don't think you people would blame me for it. But then there's the prospect of seeing Stan being miserable trying to become a gentleman when he struggles to do the simplest of gentleman tasks which nobody can pass up watching.

"Well my weekend's free, I'm in!"

"Awesome!" beamed Mabel, "Now let's begin with Lesson 1, small talk."

"Like small sentences or small words?" asked Stan, rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand in an uneasy manner, "I'm not good with-"

"Ah bup bup bup bup!" scolded Mabel, thwaping Stan's left hand with a ruler, "Less talking, more observing."

Stan let out a yelp as he rubbed the back of his hurt hand.

"Is that really necessary Mabel?"

"Well you did say use an iron fist when trying to teach a person something new," replied Mabel.

Stan narrowed his eyes.

"I've taught you well my pupil. OW! Ease up, would ya Mabel? OW! Come on, stop that. OW! That one actually hurt!"

Oh this is gonna be good. Dipper is going to miss out and…hmm.

"Hey Mabel, where's your brother?"

"Oh Dipper decided to talk a walk by himself," informed Mabel, "Said he needed his 'Me Time' for a while. I'm sure he'll be back eventually."

I honestly felt a little nauseous when she said 'eventually.'

"Eh he's just being overdramatic," replied Stan, "All he needs to do is rub some dirt on himself and-OW!"

"Sorry Mr. Pines but that's not being very gentleman-like about the feelings of your grandnephew," informed Soos.

"Damn it Soos! I-OW!"

"It's not gentleman-like to curse in front of a lady," scolded Mabel.

Stan just closed his eyes to calm down and compose himself.

"What I meant to say was that my dear Dipper is taking some time to gather in his thoughts and regain his composure."

Mabel just happily clapped her hands.

"Great work Grunkle Stan," she said, "That was Step 1 in this lesson of Making Small Talk."

"How many steps to go?"

"About 49."

"Son of a bit-OW!"

"Hey, no cursing in front of Madame Mabel."

Hey, I can't let Soos and Mabel have all the fun now can I?

And so began our little project of trying to turn Stan into gentleman. It was a long and arduous process that pretty much consumed the entire weekend.

We did lessons on dinner etiquette, how to act in front of a woman on a date, how to act in front of a woman in general, how to dress properly, and so on and so forth. Plus there was the grooming aspect of the whole ordeal in trying to make Stan look presentable. All I can say is that I honest to god never thought a man could have so much back hair on his back. That and I never knew how red a pair of hands could get after taking a few dozen hits with a ruler (I admit, I took pleasure in doing that heh heh heh heh).

We worked well to noon time on Monday (yes, it took that long) in trying to make Stan like a gentleman. But let's be honest here, we only had a weekend to work here people. I mean Mabel is not Professor Henry Higgins from My Fair Lady (I don't know why that comparison came up but it did) but she did give it her all and stayed with it longer than Soos and myself had anticipated.

"Okay Grunkle Stan..."

Mabel then took a photo of what Stan looked like at beginning of this whole ordeal.

"You started like this but then you became…"

She then lowered the photo to reveal in her line of sight Stan's current state.

Let me tell you something, it was not pretty at all. He had messy clothes, messy hair, was covered in sweat, and had hands swollen and red.

"Can…Can…Can I scratch myself now?"

That's when Mabel had her mini metal down.

"No! No! No! No!" She then ripped then before photo into tiny pieces before flinging it up into the air. "It's like there's been no progress at all! There's…There's…" She then squinted her eyes to examine Stan. "Is that throw up on your shirt Grunkle Stan?"

"I don't know how to answer that," was his response.

I had to cover Soos' mouth so he didn't answer that one.

Mabel just plopped onto the ground, a defeated look on her face.

"I give up, this was a whole waste of time."

There's a time and a place when somebody just needs to be left alone and there is a time and a place when somebody needs a pep talk. This was one of those times that for a pep talk.

"Hey Mabel."

"What's up Wendy?"

"Let's just face the facts, your uncle's unfixable."

A "Hey!" was then heard as I continued to give Mabel her pep talk.

"He's like that spitting pie thing in the diner," I continued, "I mean, no matter how many times Lazy Susan tries to fix that thing it always continues to break. But at least she-"

Out of nowhere, Mabel's eyes lit up as if she just got an epiphany.

"That's it! It's so obvious! Thanks for that Wendy."

"Uh…you're welcome?"

Did I do something right? I'm a little lost here.

Mabel then hopped back up, a big smile on her face.

"You guys, let's go to diner! Grunkle Stan, leave your pants at home."

Stan's face perked up in the same expression as Mabel's. "With pleasure!"

"But first change your shirt please."

"Yeah, that would a smart thing to do," Stan replied before going off to change his shirt.

Okay, I had to ask.

"You couldn't tell him to at least wear shorts?"

"Trust me, it's actually part of my plan," replied Mabel.

"What plan is that?" asked Soos as then Mabel brought all three of us together and basically explained it to us.

I gotta admit, it sounded a lot easier to do and there was less back hair shaving as well.

As Stan came back in a clean shirt, him and Mabel got into Stan's car and drove to the diner. Soos decided to stay behind at the Mystery Shack in case something happened. Me, I just followed behind them on my bike.

Funny thing, along the way to the Diner I happened to come across Dipper walking alone on the sidewalk. He was covered in tattoos (please let those be washable, please let those be washable), wearing nothing more than a loincloth (are you kidding me?!), got a tan, and actually…got some…muscles…and…and…

…..

….NO! OH *PUCK* NO! I SWEAR TO GOD BRAIN, IF YOU ALLOW ANY THOUGHTS TO GET INTO MY MIND I WILL ROT YOU WITH MINDLESS TELEVISION SHOWS!

….

….

…better.

So after I collected myself (and forced my brain and hormones to chill the *puck* down), I flagged Dipper down.

"Yo dude!"

He then turned to face me.

"Wendy?"

I then pulled up to him, examining his appearance.

"Dude, what the hell is this get up? Are you going for like some metal Tarzan look or something?"

Dipper just chuckled.

"Well I tried to be one with nature over the weekend."

"Then why the tattoos?"

"Well I tried to channel my inner nature spirit by drawing markings on myself."

I just rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Good one smart ass."

"Thanks, I was working on that all weekend."

Out of nowhere, we just let out a chuckle as then Dipper looked at me.

"Where are you heading off to?"

"Oh the Greasy Diner."

"Is it lunch time already?"

"Nah but get this dude. While you were out being one with nature, Mabel was trying to hook Stan up with Lazy Susan and worked all weekend to make him a gentleman."

I honestly thought Dipper was going to bust a gut on that one. Seeing him laugh like that…well…it was kind of refreshing. I mean the last time I saw him, he was ready to crawl into the Gravity Fall Bottomless Pit and stay there forever.

He then looked at me, trying to catch his breathe.

"Okay I gotta see this. Can I come with?"

I just grinned. "Say no more dude. Hop on."

I then scooted forward on my seat to give Dipper some room to sit. It was awkward to but we weren't that far from the Greasy Diner so I could bear it.

While we were riding to the Greasy Diner, I had to ask Dipper the $100 million question.

"Hey dude, just out of curiosity, but are you like naked underneath that loin cloth of yours?"

"I'm actually wearing my boxers because this loin cloth rides up easily."

"Okay, good to know."

"Why, were you trying to peak?"

"Ha, in your dreams dude!"

We then arrived at the Greasy Diner as Dipper got off my bike.

"Hey thanks for the lift Wendy."

"Any time dude."

I then saw Dipper start to make his way to the entrance of the Greasy Diner. Now what was I originally-shit, that's right!

"Yo dude."

Dipper stopped to look at me.

"Hey, I just want to apologize for my dad upstaging you like that last Saturday morning. It wasn't a cool thing to do to you."

Dipper just smiled. "Apology accepted."

He then turned to walk towards the diner entrance as I turned the other way to pedal off in the opposite direction.

The next day, it was business as usual back at the Mystery Shack. I didn't know if Stan and Lazy Susan were able to hit it off or not (honestly, I actually stopped caring once I got home yesterday). When it was end of my shift, I punched out and was ready to go home.

However I heard the sound of logs getting slammed which could only mean that a certain somebody was attempting to chop wood. So instead of heading out the front door, I head out to the back to where the sound was coming from.

Once I was out on the back porch, I saw Stan watching Dipper attempt to finish chopping the pile of wood from the other day.

"I gotta admit, the kid's got spunk," noted Stan, taking a swing of beer, "I didn't tell him to go do it. He just did it himself. Needs a better technique if he wants to finish before winter."

"Okay Stan, I'll bite," I said to my supervisor, "Pretty much the past week or so, you've been making do all these ridiculous chores/jobs that a kid our age should not be doing by themselves. What gives?"

Stan simply looked at me.

"And why are you so interested in him? It's not like you two are friends or anything."

He's trying to push my buttons. I know, I just know it. Unfortunately, I bit.

"Dude, whether we are or not, it's not cool to make him do that. What if he gets hurt?"

Stan just took a swing of beer before setting down the can.

"Well I told Soos half the truth because he would have accidentally blab to either of the twins."

"Wait, Soos knows already?"

"Half. He already knows half."

Stan then cleaned his glasses with his shirt before putting them back on.

"So what I'm going to tell you is going to be the full truth. But you have to promise to never, ever tell another soul." He then narrowed his eyes at me. "If you tell anybody what I am about to tell you, I will fire you right on the spot and you won't be allowed back into the Shack even as a paying customer."

I actually felt a cold shiver go down my spine when he said that to me. I knew Stan was not kidding when he said that. He rarely, and I mean rarely, will ban anybody from the Mystery Shack. For him to say that to me, I definitely would have to keep what he would tell me a secret.

So I decided to honor that with 4 simple words.

"On my mother's gravestone."

Stan nodded his head, knowing damn well that I gave my promise on something I held very, very, very, very close to me. He then continued.

"Well remember when I told you how I had to fight off my younger brother Shermie, their grandfather, to hold the twins."

I nodded my head.

"Well that was a lie."

Wait, huh?

"You see, I fought Shermie to hold Mabel when she first came into the world. Dipper, well…" Stan's voice then dipped. "There were complications when Dipper was born."

My face grew pale. "What do you mean by complications?"

Stan took a deep breath.

"When he came out, Dipper had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. Thankfully the doctors were able to save him in time but he had to spend some time in the ICU. I paid every dime on that medical bill and not once did I ever regret it or ask for reimbursement."

I almost fainted right there on the spot. I could actually feel myself getting woozy and a lump was growing in my throat.

"Because of that, the doctors think it might have stunted his physical growth. Like he's not disabled or anything but he's well…smaller than the other kids. And because of that, he was made a target and practically picked on like every day at school growing up. Hell Mabel got suspended a few times for getting into fist fights trying to stick up for Dipper but when she wasn't there, it was a living hell for him."

Stan then took another swing of beer.

"That's why I let them stay up here in the Mystery Shack. Sure, I get some cheap labor and spend time with family I rarely get to see. But the real purpose is to help toughen up Dipper. That's why I've been making him do all those chores like the flower bed and the fish pond that all the damn raccoons ate the fish out of! Those damn trash pandas, they killed Stan Jr. and Stan Esq.!"

Okay we were getting a little off topic at the end. Stan got the hint before coughing to regain his composure.

"The point is that I am toughing up Dipper, like building up his confidence. If he can these tough jobs by himself, it'll not only make him physically stronger like in Rocky IV, great movie by the way, but he'll gain confidence after completing them. And to be quite honest, it's the confidence I am focusing on."

Stan then laughed.

"Why just the other day before you came to get your check, he split just one log by himself and now boom he's doing this on his own without me telling him to because he's confident he can do the job alone."

Stan then finished up drinking his beer before standing up to scratch his back.

"Well I'm gonna go inside and wash up for my date with Lazy Susan tonight."

With that, Stan just went back inside the Mystery Shack. But before he went inside, he stopped to look at me.

"You two are more alike than you realize. Heck, I bet if he hangs out with you he'll catch a lot of your confidence and you could catch well…something equally of value. Any who, I can't be late for my very important date. Ha cha cha cha cha!"

Stan then disappeared into the Mystery Shack as I just stood there all alone to watch Dipper continue to chop logs into firewood.

But what Stan told me about Dipper, like why the way he is, it…it…it really stung like hell. It wasn't just because I was, admittedly, a complete bitch to him when he first got here and kind of took advantage of our different physical statures. It was also the fact that…well…Stan is right, we're both in a way very alike.

Like back in middle school, I went through a giant growth spurt that made me one of the tallest people in my grade. Not to mention that I had to wear some god awful braces, my hair was in pigtails, and had a bad acne breakout when I was 11. I wasn't Wendy, the chilliest girl in Gravity Falls. I was Ginger Giant, HillyBilly Girl, Metal Mouth, Pizza Face, Midwest Chest (I actually choked out the *pucking* asshole who called me that) and that was only the tip of the names. Then when my mother died…the teasing got worse. It got so bad that I ran away from home a few times and came to hide out here in the Mystery Shack.

But when things looked the bleakest, I still had my friends to back me up no matter what. Tambry, Nate, Lee, Robbie, and Thompson all had my back and I had their back. They helped give me my confidence which lead to the kickass lumberjill that you have come to know and love.

However Dipper…Dipper…I don't think he had somebody to call a friend outside of Mabel.

So if I didn't have my friends, I think…I would have been exactly like Dipper. Well, like an alternate girl version of him but you get where I am coming off on.

Okay, maybe I'm getting a little too deep and philosophical and all that hoopla than I should for the time being. Still though, I could make things better and redo our rocky introduction (which, I will admit…it was mostly my doing). I mean I don't think he would be totally against it.

And who knows what could happen afterwards.

Maybe we could have another whacky adventure like we did trying to find the Gobblewonker. Maybe we could just hangout, shoot the shit, watch movies, play video games, go do sports, whatever! Hey, it's summer so there's bound to be stuff to because damn it, why the hell not?! But I'm not going to get anywhere if I don't go talk to him.

So I walked off the porch and towards Dipper.

"Yo dude!"

"Oh hey Wendy, what's up?"

"Well I heard somebody trying to chop wood and decided to check it out."

Dipper just chuckled.

"Not trying, already doing."

I looked over to see a few more split logs in his pile.

"Yeah and by the time you're done, we'll be covered in snow."

Dipper just laughed before rubbing the back of his head with his left hand.

"Well it's a marathon, not a sprint."

"Yeah but you can still run a fast marathon," I retorted back, "Besides, your technique is gonna get yourself hurt dude. You're gonna strain or pull a muscle in your back and you're gonna waste your summer while being in pain. Trust me on this one dude. Like this one time I pulled a muscle in my back trying to lift like 15 logs, I thought I was-"

"When did you lift 15 logs?" asked Dipper, interrupting me.

"When I was like 12 helping my dad," I replied back, "I'm a lumberjack's daughter so I know how to cut a log."

Dipper then handed me the ax.

"Okay, can you show me then Master Wendy?"

"Hmm, show you I will. Help chop your wood I will too," I said in a god awful Yoda impression.

We both just started to laugh hard as it took a few minutes for the both of us to regain our composures. Then I started on my demonstration.

I got the ax in hand before then putting it blade down on the ground for a few seconds, letting the handle rest against my left leg. Then I casually spat in my hand to rub them and-

"Ew, gross!" chuckled Dipper, "I thought that they only did that in cartoons."

I couldn't help but grin from that. "Well you need some sort of grip on the handle. Normally you would wear gloves but as you can see, we're currently out of those right now. So you gotta do what you gotta do and improvise."

I then just grabbed the ax handle before taking aim.

"Okay now pay close attention. You wanna spread your legs out shoulder-width. That way, you got both balance and support, which is key since you are dealing with something that can lob off a body part."

I then raised the ax above my head as I continued on with my little lecture/demonstration.

"Now when you lift, lock in your elbows and then-"

With one swift motion, I brought the ax down and split that log right down the middle. I then handed the ax back to Dipper before placing up another log on the chopping stump.

"Now you try dude."

Dipper eagerly took the ax back in his possession, ready to show off what he just learned.

"Okay, here I go. First, get a good grip on the ax handle."

He then spat on his hands, rubbing them together before tightly grabbing the handle again.

"Then spread out my legs shoulder-width for balance and support."

I saw him do so, as I just continued to watch on.

"Then take aim, raising the ax up while keeping my elbows locked."

Dipper then raised the ax up above his head.

"And then-"

With one swift motion, he brought the ax down and split the log in half. Before I could say anything, he was laughing loudly.

"Oh wow! I did it! That was a clean split." He then looked at me. "Hey thanks for helping me out Wendy. I think I got this from here." He then got this little confident smile on his face before pointing the ax at the remaining pile of logs. "You guys are soooo gonna be firewood now. Heh, this should be a piece of cake now that I know the right technique." He then winked at me after saying that.

For some odd reason, my heart skipped a beat (don't ask! Just! Don't! Ask! EVER!). I could have simply walked away and let him have at it. But that's not why I came over obviously.

"Yo dude, teaching you how to chop wood wasn't why the only reason why I came over here though."

"It isn't?"

That wasn't a sarcastic 'It isn't?' response. That was a genuine confused 'It isn't?' response. Trust me, I know the difference between the two.

"You know dude, you've been up here in Gravity Falls for a couple of weeks now and well I kind of haven't been exactly…nice with you up until now."

"What are you talking about?" asked the confused boy known as Dipper with that confused puppy dog expression on his face.

"Well in laments terms, I've been a bitch to you dude," I bluntly said to him, finally speaking out, "And it's totally been not cool. That's not really me…well…I only act like that to people who deserve it like assholes."

I don't know why but I ended up getting this goofy grin on my face.

"To be honest dude, lately you and Mabel have been pretty fun to be around with."

Dipper had that brief 'deer in the headlights' look before then seeing me grin and hearing the last sentence I just said. "Wow, didn't think we would make that kind of impression on you."

"Well you did," I replied, "Looking back, I had so much fun on Lake Gravity Falls the other day when we were hunting the Gobblewonker. That was fun. And what you did for your sister by sticking up for her against that Gideon creep, you're a really cool dude Dipper."

We both just chuckled as I looked at him. "So, let's start over with a better introduction than last time." I then stuck out my hand. "The name's Wendy Corduroy. Welcome to Gravity Falls."

Dipper then stuck out his hand as well. "Nice to meet you Wendy. I'm Dipper Pines. I'm from Piedmont, California."

We just shook hands for a few minutes before breaking off (wow, he's got smooth hands for a guy his age).

"By the way, sorry about calling you Dorker earlier. But no offense dude, you were acting like a complete dorker when you first got here."

"Har har har," replied Dipper as he rolled his eyes in a sarcastic manner, "Well I still think there's something out there in Gravity Falls that is paranormal."

"Yeah, like how could Sheriff Blubs stuff like a stack of like 30 pancakes and not get sick."

We both let out a small laugh before head backing to the inside of the Mystery Shack. I mean, I know I the only thing I had at home was like watch TV and such. So I decided to stick around and shoot the shit with Dipper.

"So Dipper, out of curiosity, what's it like down in Pied-"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" shrieked a shrill voice that could honestly make the Devil wanna rip his ears off, "YOU GUYS MADE UP AND ARE BEST FRIENDS!"

Out of nowhere, we were tackled and dogpiled onto each other by a very, veeeeeerrrrrry excited Mabel Pines (was she eavesdropping during the whole thing?! How much did she hear?!)

"This is great! We're all friends now! We can hangout, go camping, go hiking, stay up late and watch movies! It's gonna be a blast this summer."

Out of nowhere, I just got and wrapped Mabel up in my right arm and wrapped up Dipper in my left arm. A big grin was on my face.

"Darn straight it's gonna be a blast! Trust me, you two are gonna have so much fun here that it'll be criminal on how much fun we'll be having."

All three of us just laughed excitedly, eager to see what the next day will bring us.

* * *

Harlic: There…it's…it's done. So…So many…damn…

Poyo: Hiya… _

Wendy: We…We definitely need an extra person.

Harlic: Oh yeah…that reminds me. Somebody is going to be coming in the next day or so.

Wendy: Wait…what? Who is this other person?

Harlic: I don't know but that idiot ZeroFox knows! For all I care, he deserves what's happening to him right now!

* * *

 _ **Meanwhile…**_

ZeroFox: *is still passed out in a ditch in the middle of nowhere*


	11. Filler 001

Wendy: Heyo. Um, yeah…so it's like this. See, since ZeroFox has been missing for quite some time Harlic and Poyo went out to go look for him. Which…leaves me in charge…and…*hears doorbell ring*…huh? I wonder who that is.

*Wendy goes to the front door to open it up before seeing what appears to be an ARC-Clone trooper in full battle armor and attire.*

Newcomer: Uh excuse me, is this err…Zero…Fox Manor?

Wendy: Uh…who wants to know?

Newcomer: *clears his throat* Well I saw an advertisement for a roommate and figured I could apply for it.

Wendy: Sure, you're probably like the only one who even bothered to look. Also…what's with the get-up?

Newcomer: Oh this…well, it's my Advanced Recon Commando, ARC for short, Trooper armor. It's really the only clothes I have on me at this moment.

Wendy: What is an ARC Trooper? Is that like a military or…wait, why do you look like a Stormtrooper?

Newcomer: Stormtrooper? What's that?

Wendy: Err…wait…you're not a Stormtrooper.

Newcomer: The only storm I bring is upon any unlucky clanker.

Wendy: That's awesome dude. But could you do me a solid and take off your helmet thingy. It's hard to take you serious when you are wearing that.

Newcomer: I apologize. *removes his helmet to reveal a young man that looks like he's in his late 20s with tan skin, brown eyes, black hair cut in a militaristic style, a goatee, and a small '5' tattooed on his right temple while wearing* Better?

Wendy: Eh, at least I know it's a person underneath. So, what's your name?

Newcomer: My name is CT-27-5555.

Wendy: A…huh?!

Newcomer: But my friends and comrades call me 'Fives' for short.

Wendy: That's cool. Hey I'm gonna go catch some breakfast. Can you stay behind and make sure A. The Manor isn't burnt to the ground and B. You take care of F-001.

Newcomer/Fives: Yes sir! *sees Wendy leave before realizing something* Excuse me but what's F-001? Is that a code or a…ah crud, she's gone. She moves faster than General Skywalker trying to avoid General Kenobi. Well shouldn't be too hard to figure out what's what…I hope.

 _Disclaimer: THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFIT FANFICTION. GRAVITY FALLS AND ITS CHARACTERS ARE OWNED BY ALEX HIRSCH AND DISNEY. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE!_

* * *

 **Filler Episode 001**

 **The Luck of the Pines**

* * *

"Hey Wendy, are you available right?" asked Dipper.

Wendy simply turned the page of her magazine at the register.

"Eh, depends on what you want to do," was her response.

No sooner had she done that, a big grin was on the boy's face. The redhead raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What's with the *THUD!* *sigh*….grin?"

Plopped on the counter top was the Journal as Dipper opened it up next to Wendy's magazine.

"I was thinking that we could do some exploring," said the boy, "We could look for some of the paranormal creatures listed in this journal."

"Like the Gobblewonker?" asked Wendy, a half smirk on her face, "Dude, that was just Old Man McGucket the entire time."

"Well sometimes legends, folklores, and tall tales are based off of things that people did not understand or could comprehend," babbled Dipper, looking at the different pages.

He then came across one page as immediately he stopped to look at it. He then blinked his eyes as a bead of sweat dripped the down the side of his head.

"Although I don't know what legend this thing came from."

Wendy looked over as the same thing happened to her.

They both stared at what appeared to be a detail drawing of leprechaun's head on the body of a horse with a horn protruding out of its forehead while wearing a leprechaun hat. Next to the drawing was the label 'Leprecorn.'

"I don't know what's worse," commented Wendy, "The creature itself or that somebody took the time to write down some sort of observation notes."

Dipper looked to see detail notes before reading them out loud.

"Leprecorn. It's a leprechaun/unicorn hy-"

"UNICORNS ARE REAL?!" shrieked a voice, causing the duo to wince in pain.

They then saw Mabel appear right in front of them, her head shaking left to right.

"Where's the unicorn? Who said unicorn?"

Dipper just pointed at the picture.

"Wendy and I were just looking at something in the journal," explained Dipper.

"Is it unicorns?" asked a hopefully Mabel.

"If that's a unicorn then I'm a blonde," commented Wendy.

Mabel took a peek as her eyes began to sparkle.

"It looks so majestic. Also you look better as a redhead than blonde Wendy."

She then looked at both Wendy and Dipper.

"Can we go find it now? Pretty please?"

"Like right now now?" asked Dipper.

A rapidly nodding head was the response.

"I mean I guess I could," replied Dipper, looking at Wendy, "You gonna come along?"

Wendy cupped her chin to think.

"Hmm. Go out in the woods to hang with friends or stand here and do nothing all day? Decisions decisions."

A few minutes later, Dipper, Mabel, and Wendy were out in the woods exploring for the leprecorn.

"This is so exciting!" beamed Mabel, "I'm actually going to see a real life unicorn."

"Leprecorn," corrected Dipper before looking at Wendy, "You think Stan will notice that you're gone."

"Don't worry, I got it covered," was the response.

Back at the Mystery Shack,

Stan was walking by as he was squinting heavily.

"Kids, I lost my glasses! Has anybody seen them? I don't wanna buy for a new pair!"

He then walked over to the register, still squinting heavily.

"Hey Wendy, have you seen my glasses?"

Standing behind the register was a mannequin with freckles painted on it, a long red-hair wig, green flannel jacket, and a pair of black jeans.

"Hey Wendy, are you deaf?"

No response.

"Hmm, must be really focused in doing her job. There is hope for you young people after. Now where are my glasses? SOOS! Give me a hand would ya?"

Back with in the woods,

Wendy was leading the way with Mabel behind her and Dipper behind her, reading the journal.

"Okay, Leprecorns are an interbred species of leprechauns and unicorns," read Dipper.

Wendy just shuddered in disgust as Dipper continued to read.

"They can be found near rainbows or boxes of sugary cereal."

"Wow, what a coincidence bringing this with me," noted Mabel, holding a box of Lucky Charms while eating from it.

"Nearly every aspect of the creatures are known to be a complete frustration, from the plastic gold coins that shed from their beards to the constant loop of the song "Danny Boy" played by their horns."

"So we gotta look for rainbows and hear 'Danny Boy' being played," noted Wendy, "Sounds easy I guess."

Out of nowhere, a bush besides them began to rattle and shake as snarling sounds came out of it. Immediately Dipper and Mabel clinged onto Wendy for protection.

"Crap, it's the gnomes again!" cried out Dipper.

"Wendy, protect us with your awesomeness!" exclaimed Mabel.

Wendy got out her hatchet just in case as she stared down the rustling bush.

Suddenly a rabbit hopped out of it as it was busy munching on a leaf in its possession.

"Don't move guys, that's one shaddy rabbit," commented the redhead in a monotone, sarcastic voice, "He might attack us with his cute-"

Out of nowhere, a good-sized fox leapt out of the bushes and pounced on the rabbit. With one chomp, it broke the rabbit's neck before carrying it into the woods as all three of them had stunned looks on their faces.

"Wow, that was…um…eye-opening to say the least," replied Dipper.

"That poor bunny…" whimpered Mabel, tears in her eyes.

"Whelp, I'm starting to second guess my decision on coming out here now," commented Wendy, "Who's down for some mini-golf after this?"

"Im din," replied Mabel, cheeks full of sugary cereal to help her erase from her mind what she had just witnessed.

"Come on guys, we can't just give up yet," said Dipper, "So we saw a rabbit get eaten by a fox, I've seen it all the time on Animal Planet."

"But bat wabbit was so cute," whimpered Mabel.

"Huh?"

Mabel then swallowed what was in her mouth. "Ugh, should have gone for some milk." She then looked at her brother. "But that rabbit was so cute."

Wendy just sighed, rubbing her temple with her left hand.

"How about this," she said, "Another hour out here. We don't see this leprecorn out here, we head back and then go mini-golf."

"Deal," said the Pines twins simultaneously.

"Dudes! Don't do that!" exclaimed Wendy, cringing ever so slightly, "That is like so creepy when you both talk at the same time."

It took another period of time wandering around the woods as the trio could not find their elusive target. They did not find any rainbows nor did they hear any tunes of 'Danny Boy' being played.

Suddenly a thought popped into Dipper's brain.

"Hey I got an idea. Instead of looking for the leprecorn, let's bait it to come to us."

"Sounds like a plan," agreed Mabel, "And we'll use my magically delicious cereal as tasty bait."

"Are we going to trap it or just try to take a picture?" asked Wendy, "Now that it's come up, what exactly is the plan?"

Dipper just smiled as he pulled out a disposable camera. "Luckily I came prepared."

"Is that still from the Gobblewonker trip?" asked Wendy

"Surprisingly enough it still works," replied Dipper, "Okay, let's set it up."

They found a small clearing near a waterfall as Mabel then sprinkled some of her cereal onto the ground. She the hurried behind a bush where Dipper and Wendy were hiding in.

"Okay now we wait," whispered Dipper.

Not even 5 minutes into it, the trio heard the faint sound of music being played.

"You guys hear that?" whispered Dipper.

"What is it?" whispered Mabel.

The music became louder and louder as Wendy recognized it.

"That sounds like 'Danny Boy' you guys."

No sooner had she finished her sentence, the trio then saw a leprecorn hop out of the woods, sniffing the air. It then saw the pile of Lucky Charms on the ground, letting out a small 'Toh-Ti-Toh' sound before walking over to munch on the sugary food.

"Wow, it actually looks even more frightening in real life," winced Wendy.

However Mabel's eyes just sparkled.

"It's so majestic."

Dipper then got out his camera before getting ready to take a few quick pictures.

"Hold still…hold still…focus…focus…aaaaannnd…"

He then pressed a button, taking a picture with his camera. However the flash went off, startling the leprecorn as it saw it out of the corner of its eye. It immediately turned into the vicinity of the flash as its eyes saw the trio hiding in the bush.

The gentle face was then replaced by a stark raving mad one as it started to snarl and curse in Gaelic.

"Well…who's up for running like a maniac and screaming at the top of their lungs?" asked Dipper.

Wendy and Mabel just raised their hands as they then saw the leprecorn bolt right at them.

Without even hesitating, the trio just ran as fast as they could away from the leprecorn while screaming at the top of their lungs.

They zigged and zagged, hurdling over rocks and logs, barreled through bushes. They even tried throwing rocks or pinecones at their pursuer but all they did was enrage it and make it curse at them even more in Gaelic.

Suddenly Dipper saw the leprecorn was gaining on them as he saw Mabel still holding onto her Lucky Charms box.

"Mabel! Ditch the cereal! Maybe it'll distract him!"

"Aww, but I still wanna eat out of it."

"JUST DO IT!"

Mabel just tossed the box of cereal to the side in hopes of causing the leprecorn to get distracted. Much to their luck, the leprecorn saw the Lucky Charms box before bolting to go after it.

The trio just continued to run, making their way back to the Mystery Shack as they got to the parking lot before finally stopping. Each of them was hunched over gasping for air while beads of sweat dripped down their faces.

"Okay…I think…I filled my quota…for today…of searching…for…paranormal stuff," panted Dipper.

"I couldn't…agree…more…dude…" panted Wendy.

"I think I'm gonna barf," gulped Mabel,

Once they regained their breath, all three of them went back inside to the Mystery Shack to try and act like nothing had ever happened.

However as soon as they walked in, they just immediately saw the inside was a complete and utter mess. Shirts and hats were knocked off all over the place, display stands were on the ground with their contents spilled everywhere, various stains from unknown substances were scattered out through the entire store, and a goat just happened to be inside eating a shirt.

The trio simple looked at each other as Wendy rubbed the back of her head.

"What happened here?"

"It looks like a tornado hit this place or an angry tourist," added Dipper.

Out of nowhere, Mabel's left ear twitched as she heard an all-too familiar song.

"ACK! THE LEPRECORN FOLLOWED US!"

Wendy and Dipper also heard the song as they each got panicked looks on their faces.

"Behind the register now!"

All three of them dove behind the register, hiding behind the counter top.

The music got closer and closer as Wendy got out her hatchet and bowie knife.

"I'll distract it while you two make a break for it and go grab Stan or Soos."

"But what about you?" asked a concerned Mabel as the music got closer.

"She's right," replied Dipper, "We're in this together no matter what."

He then grabbed two back scratches while Mabel grabbed some snow globes, clutching two against her chest while holding onto one in her right hand.

The music got closer and closer as the door to the Mystery Shack opened up.

All three kids jumped up, ready to attack as Mabel launched the first attack.

"DIE MONSTER!"

"Huh, what's going-*OOF*!"

Wendy and Dipper immediately tackled their would-be assailant into a clothing rack, crashing into it.

"All right lepre-OH MY GOD, SOOS!"

Everybody froze in horror as they realized that they had just attacked their portly older friend.

"Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh!" exclaimed Wendy, "I'm so sorry dude! We thought you were a some sort of intruder."

"Or a monster," added Dipper as he and Wendy helped their friend up.

"Oh no worries," reassured Soos, dusting himself off. He then turned to Mabel, giving her a thumbs up. "Nice throw there Hambone. Got me right in the chest and almost knocked the wind out of me. Hah hah."

"But why were you playing 'Danny Boy' so loudly?" asked a confused Dipper.

"Eh, it popped up on my playlist and just didn't bother to change the song," replied Soos.

"But why is the Shack a mess?" asked Wendy, "Stan is going to-"

"I swear to everything holy and unholy, I will find my sassa frassa glasses!"

The gang then saw Stan stumbling into the main area, still squinting heavily. He ended up bumping into another display stand, knocking it over before walking in the other direction.

"Well that explains the mess," noted Wendy as then Mabel ran over to Stan.

"Hey Grunkle Stan, what's wrong?"

Stan turned into the direction of who was speaking to him.

"Huh, is that you Mabel? What's up?"

"Are you okay Grunkle Stan?" asked Mabel.

"I would be if I could find my fraggin' froggin' glasses!" was the response.

Mabel then walked up to her great uncle, grabbing onto his shirt and pulling him slowly to her eye level. She then took a pair of glasses that were in his hair and placed them on his face.

"There you go, good as new."

"Hey thanks Mabel," beamed Stan, "Where did you find my glasses?"

"On top of your head," replied Mabel.

"Hmm, didn't bother to check there," replied Stan, looking at the others, "Okay, so-HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED HERE?!"

"Uh…Indoor Tornado?" replied Dipper.

Out of nowhere, Stan's eyes lit up with an idea.

"That gives me an idea!"

Sometime later, Stan had cornered off a part of the Mystery Shack that was a mess from earlier while having cheesy cardboard cutouts of a tornado with a frowny face on it.

"Not bad if I do say so myself," said Stan, "Thanks for doing the drawing Mabel."

"My pleasure Grunkle Stan," replied Mabel.

At the register, Wendy and Dipper watched on with unamused looks on their faces.

"I don't know what's worse: the fact he actually is trying to pass up a kid's lie as an exhibit or the fact we helped him out."

"Little bit of both to be honest dude."

Out of nowhere, the two heard 'Danny Boy' being played behind them. The duo turned to see the leprecorn giving them the wooly eye. The blood from both their faces rushed out as they each gulped in terror. The leprecorn did a 'I'm watching you' motion with its right hoof before scampering into the woods.

"You know, I think I'll hold off from exploring for the time being. Next time, let's watch a movie instead."

"I hear you on that one."

 _ **Fin**_

* * *

Fives: Eh, that was it? Heh, that wasn't so bad. Now just wish that everybody would get back here sooner rather than later. *hears a knock on the door* Now who could that be?

*Fives opens the door to reveal a young man with one arm, black eyes, short, spikey black hair, a scar over his left eye and left cheek, wearing jeans, sneakers, and an orange and white T-Shirt with all-too familiar green dragon on the back*

Newcomer: Hi, is this ZeroFox Manor? I'm here to apply for the wanted ad for a roommate/tenant.

Fives: You too?

Newcomer: *blinks his eyes* Wow, you're-

*He gets cut off from the sound of a motorcycle pulling up.*

*Both Fives and Newcomer then see the motorcyclist getting off, taking off their helmet to reveal a man with blonde hair and hazel eyes*

Motorcyclist: Hey, is this ZeroFox Manor?

Fives: Are you here to apply for the roommate/tenant ad?

Motorcyclist: Yeah.

*All three men just look at each other with uncertain expressions on their faces*

Motorcyclist: Awkward…

Newcomer: Tell me about it.

Fives: Well…this is going to be interesting.


End file.
